I see what Taylor was doing. She was so playing the hard to get game. I know she isn't really happy with Billie. She was trying to make me jealous, and it was working.
I know she's not really happy with Billie, or whatever the fuck his name is.
I know that she's jealous of Lindsey and me. I saw the way she looked at me when I made out with Lindsey right beside her. She was totally pissed, and it was cute.
She still has feelings for me, I can just feel the sexual attraction pull when I'm around her, so I'm pretty sure she feels it to. She enjoyed it when I kissed and sucked on her neck, why else would she have moaned like that?
She, being afraid of being caught by that husband of hers, she told me a bunch of bullshit, like I should move on, how I should love Lindsey and the baby, even through I don't want them, and how she was too caught up in the moment, and blah blah. I could go on, but Im getting bored just remembering what she had told me.
Lindsey is a great girl and everything, I love her, but I'm not really in love with her. I only married her so I could move on from Taylor, but obviously, I really can't. Taylor doesn't believe me when I told her I still had feelings for her, i had lost her trust that night at the party. Shed probably think I'd only cheat on her again.
Like hell I would ever do that again, Taylor means the world to me,not Lindsey. But she says shit about her being happy with Billie and all, that she's carrying his baby and all. I didn't believe all of that crap for a second. Yeah she's carrying the mans child, that doesnt mean you have to be with him.
And come on, Billie seems like the cheating type anyways. He probably cheated on a dozen times. I know Taylor wouldn't have sex with him while shes pregnant. And you know most guys, can't go a few months without sex, so does she really believe he'd stay faithful?
I know I wouldnt, well okay I did once, but I didn't have sex with the chick. I was, if Taylor didn't burst in on us making out, which I'm thankful for. It wouldve been a lot worse keeping it a secret from her, but still Lindsey would've told her, and upset her. Then she would have came to me, even pisser than she was when she walked in, catching us that night.
But... Now we didn't have to worry about Lindsey, or me cheating on her anymore. Lindsey died giving birth to her baby, who also died, thanks to her, because she didnt stop drinking and smoking while she was pregnant. I kinda felt bad for the kid, he or she deserved to live, every child deserves to live, even though it was her baby, I mean, come on, did Lindsey really have to be so heartless and cruel to kill a innocent baby? Well hey, at least she got what she deserved. Her death.
I took a drag out of my cigarette, and looked over at Green Day's tour bus. I could see Taylor and Billie laughing, and well having a good time. She smiled at him, and kissed him, he kissed back. I heard the guys cat whistle. I rolled my eyes.
Billie grabbed her ass, and she jumped and slapped him playfully, while laughing.
I took another drag of the cancer stick, before throwing it down on the ground, and stomping on it. I pretended it was Billies face.
I spun around on my heels, and turned to face Linds.
"Hun, what are you doing out here? It's freezing! You dont even have a jacket on, come in before you catch a fever." She told me, worrying.
"Yes, mom." I rolled my eyes.
"Okay, what us with you lately? Ever since we got here, you've been acting very distant and weird? What is wrong, you can tell me." she said, walking closer to me. She had a concerned look on her face.
"Nothing." I lied.
"Gerard, bullshit. I know you're lying to me. Stop it, and tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help you."
'Yeah, you can help me alright, you can help me by getting the fuck out of my life.' I thought bitterly. I sighed and went over and pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm just in a bad mood. I don't want to talk about it. You dont have to worry about me. I'm fine, Hun." I almost shuddered, having to have to call her that.
She smiled. "Maybe you just need some sleep. Come on, let's get you out of the cold. The band doesn't need you getting sick, they need you."
"Alright. I'll be in a sec, Kay?"
"Okay. I'll go make you some coffee." she kissed me, before going back on the bus. A second later I heard someone behind me.
"You really just couldnt keep your hands off, couldnt you?" Mikey said, his voice laced with disgust. Oh great, he must've saw me with Taylor earlier.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled, pulling out another cigarette.
"Bullshit, yes you do. I saw you. What the fuck are you thinking? Can't you see she's happy with Billie?"
I took a long drag out of the cancer stick, not looking at my little brother when he walked up to me. I just stood staring at the Green Day tour bus.
"Think about what you're doing. Taylor doesnt like you anymore Gerard, she loves Billie, and she's fucking pregnant. You have Lindsey. Yeah, remember her? Your wife, and the Mother of your unborn child for fucks sake."
"Shut up." I growled.
"No, I will not shut up, Gerard. Lindsey loves you Gee. She doesnt need you going after Taylor, and I don't know if anybody told you this or not, but-"
I cut him off. "They're friends now, yeah I know. Taylor told me. And yes you're right, Lindsey doesnt néed all of this, so that's-"
"Gerard, are you actually thinking about dumping Lindsey?" Mikey gasped. "For a married and expecting woman, who doesnt love you, wow you are that stupid. Do you realize what you are about to give up, its not even worth it, bro."
" It's not just that. Mikey, I only married Lindsey so I could move on, and obviously it isnt working. I still love Taylor, I don't care if she's married to Billie Joe fucking Armstrong. I can help her raise that baby, like it is my own. I don't care, I'll do anything to get her back." I argued, staring at my brother.
Mikey sighed, and shook his head. " Gerard, bro, listen. You had a chance with Taylor. You blew it. Billie happened to convince her to move on, so she did. It's your turn. Come on, do it for Lindsey. Do it for Taylor. She wants you to move on. I heard what she Said to you. She's right, Gerard. Give Lindsey a chance, she deserves it. She loves you."
"Why should I? Im not in love with her, Mikey! I love her and she's a great woman and all, but I'm not in love with her. I don't want to be in a loveless relationship."
"She's pregnant with your child. Are you really just going to just abandon her and the baby? Are you that sick to do that?"
" I'll help and be a father to the child, but I don't have to be with it's mother! God Mikey, Im going to slowly break it up with her, without crushing her heart."
" You are going to 'crush' her heart, by breaking things off with her, genius!" Mikey shouted.
I threw my cigarette down on the ground, and stepped on. I ran my fingers through my hair, staring down at the ground, biting my lip.
" it's fucking freezing out here, let's go. We don't need you getting sick." he said.
"I will in a minute." I muttered.
"Okay..."" and he was gone.
I looked back up, An glared across at Green Day's bus. Billie was going to pay for taking my girl away from me. If he didn't show up, then maybe we wouldn't have gone to the sluts party, and Taylor and I would've been married, and had a kid. No, he had to ruin it all. I hate him with a burning passion, and you really didn't want to get on my bad side.
I was going to get Taylor back, one way or another. I smirked.
"Hey guys, I'll be back in a while." I said, putting on my jacket. Billie looked up. "Where are you going?" he asked, standing up, knocking Tre, who was on his lap for some reason, locking him in the floor.
"Watch it." he growled, standing up, brushing himself off, and sat down in billies spot.
"Oh, just out. I need some fresh air. I hate being cramped up on this bus, with just three guys. No offense or anything." I added quickly, when Mike and Tre glared over at me.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
I shook my head. " Nah, I'll be fine. I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm probably going over to sy hi to Lindsey and them."
"Alright, be careful. I want you and my baby back on this bus in 20 minutes. Ill come get you if you don't." he threatened.
I laughed. "Yes,dad. We'll be safe. Be back before twenty minutes." I quickly kissed his lips, before existing the bus. I shivered when the cold September breeze hit me.
Wow, who knew it could be this cold in the middle of september?
I stuffed my hands in my pockets, since I lost my gloves somewhere. I breathed in the air and smiled. It was such a beautiful night out. I looked up at the stars in the sky, and smiled.
The only light that was here, was coming from the street lights Abd the moon above. It was still dark,but I could see the other bus across the lot from here. It was very quiet out, so I could hear the crickets. It was relaxing in some odd way.
I started walking over to the MCR bus, until something grabbed me, and pulled me back. I tried to scream, but it covered my mouth, before I could.
''Shh...'' It said.
I froze. I looked up. It was Gerard! Oh what the fuck. I glared at him, as he smiled back, I yanked myself away from him.
''What the hell, Gerard? Don't ever do that again! I though you were a rapist or something. You scared the crap out of me.''
''Sorry.'' He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, and Helena woke up and started kicking. I placed my hand on my stomach, and glared at Gerard. He woke my poor baby up.
''You woke Helena.'' I snarled.
''Woah, sorry.'' He said, jumping back, looking at me shocked.
''Why are you out here anyways? Trying to stalk me or something?''
''No, I just came out for a smoke, but then I saw you come out, and I wanted to talk to you...''
I rolled my eyes. ''No, I will not take you back. I just came out here to relax, but you showed up, I mean, creeped up, scared the-''
He cut me off, by crushing his lips on mine. I tried pulling away, but he was a hell of a lot stronger than me, he didn't budge at all. I felt him smirk, as he deepened the kiss. I tried screaming, but his lips muffled them, and it sounded like I was moaning, instead, and that seemed to excite Gerard even more.
''Gerard!'' I cried out, trying to pull away from his kiss.
He finally pulled away and looked at me, smirking. ''Come on, I know-''
I slapped him hard across the face, before turning around, and started running back to the bus. ''Asshole!'' I shouted out, I ran faster, because I heard him running after me.
''Gerard, leave me alone!''
I didn't notice that my shoe came undone, because it was so dark out, that I tripped on one the laces, and tripped. I fell face down on the hard ground, my arms went down to protect my baby, automatically. I closed my eyes, as my face made contact with the ground...