Gerard makes a mistake.....
Fucking hell. He didn't want me for sure. Oh well, there were other people out there, waiting for someone like me to keep them company. Of course there were. Like this bitch i'm sucking face with. Sure she's got a reputation as easy and i'm imagining she's someone else all the while. It's hard though, her lips smothered in fakery pink gunge. Nothing like Franks. Just the skin, the soft chapped condition that i loved to watch and feel on my own.
" Would you like to go upstairs?" She purred in what i assumed was meant to be a seductive tone. Probably one she used on alot of people when she was out screwing anyone in the world except her boyfriend. Bob told me she had a boyfriend and so i should " stay away from that" because it was " brother code". Brother code for sure, but i was fucking hurting and one night couldn't be so wrong could it? One night with Emily. Ella? Emma? Something that started with E anyway. It wasn't like i'd see her again after tonight, i wouldn't need to know tiny details like her name.
" Gee, you should go home now?" My tall blonde friend laid a hand on my shoulder and spoke with empathy in his voice. Mikey had told him what had happened, after i'd spent two hours of my day bawling my eyes out onto his Hollister sweater.
I looked at the girl before me and felt a pang of guilt as i seriously contemplated leaving. I glanced up shyly at Bob, knowing he was sizing me up and praying i'd choose the sensible option. To go and not come back tonight. It was then an ear shattering thud and floods of loud voices overtook the voices of Maroon 5 blaring from the stereo. " Get out of here! Party's over!" And suddenly a sea of navy blue and crash helmets filled the lounge. Screaming at us all to get out and handcuffing as many they could get their hands on. I shoved the redhaired girl away from me and ran to th nearest place i could hide.
The place when i had been rejected from feeling that sin of those lips again. The place i had fled from and not dared to glance back at the angelic beauty of Frank Iero, a lost soul just like me.
He didn't get it. I didn't expect him too. He knew i liked him, he knew i wanted him. Needd him even. He made me feel special. Healthy and whole again. Almost, normal.
I've been struggling to sleep four three hours now. The time being two in the morning. The deafening silence of this house breaking me down slowly and painfully. I had been tossing, turning, crying slowly and then repeating the process again and again. My tired eyes burnd with the need of sleep. The everlasting sting of salty tears drying out my irises. Making me almost cry in pure pain.
My pain filled night was abruptly ended when a quick three knocks came from downstairs. I recognised the way it oozed uncertainty, the way my stomach knotted as the knocking died out. I raced downstairs only to be met by him. The person i expected. Well half the person i expected. " S--up, Framnnnkiee!" The wobbling, red eyed mess on my doorstep slurred. He simply stared for a second, eyes going awire in every direction before he fell into a drunken, slobbering heap on my porch.
I eased him off the floor and pulled him inside, steadying him on the couch, laying his had on the fluffy, plush cushions. "I-- near-l-ly got laidtonightttttt." He continued to slur, making my heart blaze inside my chest. I was jealous. Envy burning inside me while i desperately fought the urge to slap him and scream. I inhaled sharply as my eyes glistened with jealous, angry tears. "S'not like-i cheateddd."
The truth was, he may well have done just that. Maybe it would have hurt less.