FicWad: fresh-picked original and fan fiction

This fic was inspired by the YouTube video 'Gerard and Mikey fight over eyeliner!' which is quite funny. I am aware that this is probably the longest thing I've written on FicWad, so thank you very much for reading it. I'd appreciate it if you would R&R and tell me what you think. Thanks and enjoy! :D

CLANG! CRASH! BANG!

It sounds like the climax of a superhero comic, doesn't it? A superhero comic that Gerard would have been reading, had he not been tearing half of the tour bus from its rightful place while searching for the little black pencil that he couldn't go a day without. He thought - no, he knew he'd left the black eyeliner pencil in the little cup by the sink where the five of them kept their toothbrushes, but when he'd woken, about an hour ago after a long concert last night, the eyeliner was gone.

At first, he'd just assumed it had fallen on the floor, but he'd ended up on hands and knees, crawling around the bathroom like some retard, frantically searching for his eyeliner. He'd begun to get pissed off when he realised that the pencil wasn't in the bathroom and he had to extend his search to the rest of the bus.

By now he was really quite angry, carelessly tossing things aside if they got in his way, raking loudly through drawers and throwing the contents, be it forks, spoons, video games or packets of biscuits, on the floor. The sea of mess grew along with Gerard's annoyance, and he was angrily muttering to himself, while pointlessly searching through every nook and cranny in the bus, places where he would never leave his eyeliner, places that it could never end up even if some wild sea creature with huge teeth swallowed the bus and then went for a swim, throwing everything inside around crazily. He had a brief mental picture of said sea creature, and pinned the image somewhere at the front of his brain so he could draw it later. Given he had found his eyeliner.

'Ray! Frank, Mikey Bob! Anybody?' he yelled. He didn't want to take out his anger on his band members, but he was severely pissed off and the anger was hot in his veins.

'Hmm?' A very sleepy-sounding Ray stumbled into the kitchen area, still wearing his pyjamas, leading Gerard to the conclusion that he had just fallen out of bed at the sound of his angry voice.

'Do you know where my eyeliner is?'

Ray blinked against the grey sunlight, trying to make his sleep-hazed brain work properly, then shook his head, yawning loudly.

'Where's the others?' Gerard could recall waking up to find Frank, Mikey and Bob's bunks empty-

Mikey. He was always stealing Gerard's eyeliner, and moaning when he was denied use of it. Mikey always complained that they needed to stop by some drug-store so that he could purchase his own, but they never had time. Gerard was certain that Mikey had stolen his eyeliner.

Before Ray could open his mouth, Gerard rephrased his question. 'Where's Mikey?' His anger began to rise again inside him.

Ray scratched his head. 'Erm... I think they said they were going to the rest stop station for... something...?' He yawned again then padded away. 'I'm going back to bed, Gerard.'

'AAAAARRRGGHH!' Gerard half groaned, half yelled, sounding like one of those brainless undead creatures that dominated his scruffy sketch book, blood dripping from their sharp teeth. It was Mikey's blood that would be soon dripping from Gerard's teeth when he was through with him; he'd torn up the whole bus in a desperate search for the eyeliner pencil, only to realise that Mikey had stolen it. Little taller-than-was-natural fucker had probably put it with his stuff, which he kept on his bed. Gerard was also quite annoyed that it had taken him enough time to mess up the bus to realise where it was, so the floor was littered with stuff that he would not be picking up.

Storming towards the bunks after Ray, Gerard ripped back Mikey's curtain and dived onto the bed, pulling it apart, throwing pillows on the floor, closely followed by the blanket in his attempt to find where Mikey had stashed it. His search proved unsuccessful, and he yelled at the top of his voice, making Ray jump.

'Gerard! Man, just wait for Mikey to get back,' he mumbled from his bunk.

'But I need it right fucking now!' shouted Gerard, not really angry with Ray, but too angry in general to keep his voice to a normal pitch.

He heard the tour bus door open and somebody stepped inside. He heard a sharp intake of breath as whoever it was came face to face with the tip that the bus was in, and the rustle of a plastic bag being placed down on the counter.

'Gerard?' Gerard recognised his little brother's voice, and rolled out of Mikey's bunk, scrambling to his feet and stomping out to meet him, scowling furiously. Mikey looked from the mess to his big brother, a questioning look on his face. 'What happened? Bomb hit the place or something?'

'Where the hell is it?' Gerard's eyes were firey with anger, and Mikey's eyes widened. He hated when his brother was in a mood. He knew that because Gerard was an Aries, he had an explosive temper, and he also knew that because Gerard was Gerard, the temper would of course be taken out on everyone else. He began to wish he's stayed with Frank and Bob.

'What?'

'You know what,' growled Gerard.

Mikey half laughed. 'What? Seriously?!'

'Where the fuck's my eyeliner?' Gerard's voice was beginning to get louder, his intense anger rubbing off on Mikey, who was starting to get pissed off too.

'How am I supposed to know?' Mikey threw his arms out exasperatedly. His brother was such a baby sometimes.

'Don't play dumb with me, Michael,' said Gerard, his voice dangerously quiet.

Michael? Oh no, thought Ray, this could get quite violent. He pulled back the curtain of his bunk, swinging his legs round and placing his feet on the floor. 'Guys-'

But Mikey cut him off. 'Don't call me Michael! I'm Mikey, you dipshit!'

Gerard crossed his arms over his chest. 'It'll be Mikey no more if you don't tell me where the fuck my eyeliner is.'

'I don't know where it is, you sheep-shagger!' Mikey shouted, using a word that he'd heard Frank use not long ago and had deemed it quite a good insult.

'What the hell-'

'You know, Gee? I've just discovered why you wear eyeliner. You look like an ass without it!' Mikey generally didn't like arguing with anybody, especially his brother, but he was now too angry to calm down and stop.

'Guys-' said Ray again, but he was drowned out by Gerard's yells.

'Fuck you, idiot!'

'Go fuck yourself!' retorted Mikey.

'Go fuck a toaster and turn it on!' screamed Gerard, pointing to the back of the bus where the toaster had been flung in Gerard's previous anger, which didn't quite match up to the rage coursing between the Way brothers at that moment.

'Go fuck your mum!'

Gerard smirked. 'She's your mum too, dumbass!

The last comment only fuelled Mikey's burning rage, and he quickly thought of something that would hit Gerard harder. 'Go fuck Frank!'

Gerard was speechless for a moment, but despite his burning blush, he quickly retaliated. 'Go fuck Ray's fro!'

'Hey! Calm it down guys!' shouted Ray, but he could tell that neither Gerard or Mikey were acknowledging his existance in the heat of the arguement.

At that moment, Frank and Bob, who had overheard part of the arguement from outside of the bus on their way back, opened the door carefully, and stepped cautiously inside, not wanting to be hit by any flying debris that the Way brothers could have been throwing at each other. Creeping towards the bunks, Frank threw himself onto his own, hiding his face like he used to when he was a kid and his parents were arguing. Bob sat down on Ray's bed next to Ray, who was watching the Ways carefully, making sure that neither one pulled a knife on the other.

'What's going on?' asked Bob over the sound of Gerard and Mikey screaming at each other to go fuck various things that came to mind.

Ray, who was still kinda hyped up from yelling at the two brothers, said, 'Gee's lost his eyeliner and think's Mikey has it.'

Bob made a face and looked past Ray to Mikey and Gerard, who were still shouting insults at each other, and the two of them watched the fight from the sidelines like they were watching some freaky reality show, not wanting to get involved incase their heads got bitten off and cruelly digested over a thousand bitterly mad years.

'Go fuck your fucking eyeliner!' shrieked Mikey furiously, shooing Gerard away from him.

'I would if I knew where the fuck it was!' screamed Gerard.

Frank's heart jumped at the word 'eyeliner'. He peered out of his bunk at the two brothers. He could see Mikey's back, but Gerard was facing in his direction. He'd never seen him so angry with anyone, let alone his brother, who was also looking angrier than a demonic old lady with the undead plague. He put his hand to his waist and felt the little black pencil sticking out of his pocket and began to feel very guilty. 'Uh, guys?'

'It's probably up your anal canal!' yelled Mikey, ignoring Frank.

'Don't get scientific with me, bitch! Where is it?' yelled back Gerard through clenched teeth.

'Under your bed with your fucking stinking, unwashed undergarments!' Mikey made a wild gesture towards the bunk bed area without actually turning to face it, much to Ray and Bob's relief. Frank however, giggled slightly at the word 'undergarments'.

'Again with the fucking long words!' screamed Gerard, and Frank laughed louder, gaining him a devil glare from the pale, vampire lookalike. Bob cracked a smile and caught Frank's eye, grinning at the direction the arguement was taking.

'It means 'underpants', you retard!'

'Are you calling me dumb? Fuck you, faggot!'

'Guys, watch yourselves,' put in Bob, but he recieved a death glare from both Gerard and Mikey, who soon went back to completely ignoring their band members in the heat of their rage.

'You're the fucking faggot!' accused Mikey, pointing a long finger in Gerard's face. 'I've seen the way you and Frank look at each other!'

Again, Gerard was speechless, and he shot a glance at Frank, whose face had gone red and was looking back, worried that what Mikey had said was true. Gerard looked back at Mikey, who was wearing a smugly triumphant smile, and glowered furiously while blushing a rather unattractive shade of magenta. 'Wipe that smile off your face or I'll cut it off!' yelled Gerard, gesturing to a knife that was lying under the table where he'd tossed it earlier in the anger that seemed quite mild to the rage he felt now.

Shock flashed across Mikey's face, and Bob and Ray stood up, prepared to wrestle Gerard and Mikey apart and away from the knife. 'Cool it guys! Seriously, grow up!' shouted Bob, but Mikey shot out his hand.

'Save it, guys!' He turned back to Gerard, the nasty expression returning to his face. 'You wouldn't dare.'

Gerard rolled his eyes. 'It was a joke you fucktard!'

'Well it wasn't very funny,' muttered Ray.

Frank felt terrible. He should have spoken up earlier; now the two Ways were so angry and immersed in their arguement that they'd actually forgotten what they were arguing about, and it wasn't even Mikey that Gerard should be angry with. It should be Frank. And Frank tried to deny the fact that he thought that Gerard looked quite sexy when he was mad.

'My brother tells jokes? You're a man of many talents, Gee,' mocked Mikey, shaking his head.

'Your brother also knows how to kill people, Michael. Say another word and I will kill you.' He edged slightly closer to the knife under the table, but not making any sort of move to pick it up. He would never really pull a knife on his brother, and Mikey knew it, but Gerard was unpredictable when he was angry. And right now he was really fucking angry. Mikey took a step back towards the door, ready to make a break for it if Gerard decided to go totally psycho.

'All right,' said Frank, jumping down from his bunk, avoiding landing on Bob's shoulders. 'That's quite e-fucking-nough.'

'Fucking bring it-' began Mikey, but Frank cut him off, yelling at the top of his voice.

'BOTH OF YOU STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!'

The Way brothers were so surprised by Frank's sudden burst of anger that they both stopped and turned to look at him, faces bewildered. Even Ray and Bob were looking at the pint-sized guitarist.

Frank smiled. 'Thank you,' he said quietly and calmly, walking towards them and standing in between the two of them. He faced Mikey first. 'Mikey, I'm sorry.'

Mikey almost laughed. 'What? You're sorry? It should be him that's fucking sorry!'

Frank put up his hand as if he were shushing some kid who was taking a tantrum over something trivial. Which he was, in a way. Bob and Ray just watched in amazement as Frank handled the situation calmly and quietly.

He turned to Gerard and looked up at him, trying to forget about what Mikey had said earlier about him and Gerard looking at each other. 'Gerard, I'm sorry.'

'What fo-' he began but Frank cut him off.

'Mikey doesn't have your eyeliner.'

'Fucking THANK YOU!' laughed Mikey bitterly, grimacing at Gerard smugly as if to say 'I told you so!'

'Well then who does?' challenged Gerard.

'Me.'

Both Mikey and Gerard's mouths fell open, then their faces grew angry again. Frank had it? So Gerard had been going totally apeshit at Mikey for nothing? He supposed that was right, but even though he was now pissed off at Frank, Gerard was still pissed at Mikey for the whole arguement content.

'You- You fucking had it the whole- For fuck's sake Frank!'

'He coulda killed me, you ass!' yelled Mikey, and Frank shot him an apologetic look over his shoulder. Mikey laughed and turned and stormed from the bus, slamming the door behind him.

Gerard opened his mouth to shout a retort after his brother, but Frank grabbed his arms, making him look down at him.

'Mikey!' groaned Bob, rushing after him, closely followed by Ray.

Frank looked up at Gerard. 'Calm it, man. Here.' Frank pulled the eyeliner pencil out of his pocket and pressed it into Gerard's hand.

'Thanks,' he muttered, to annoyed at Mikey to be pissed with Frank anymore. And even though he would never admit it, Gerard found it hard to ever stay pissed at Frank for very long. 'Little bitch.'

'Leave him,' said Frank. 'He'll come around.'

Gerard looked away from the window where he'd been watching Ray and Bob catch up with Mikey, who flailed his arms around while probably slagging him off and looked down at Frank, who was looking at him urgently. 'Uhm, you didn't believe him, did you?'

Frank looked confused. 'What?'

'When he said about, uh, me and you? You didn't believe him...?'

Frank blushed and nodded his fringe in front of his eyes. 'Uh, no, of course not... I mean- did you?'

Gerard hid behind his curtain of midnight hair. 'Um...'

'You did? Why, Gee?' Frank tried to catch Gerard's eye, but Gerard was looking out the window again.

'Um, because, it's uh...'

'...True?' finished Frank, and Gerard looked down at him, face flaming, chewing his bottom lip.

'My brother is an asshole, Frank, but he's not a liar.' Gerard's voice was barely a whisper, and he wondered - he hoped that Frank hadn't heard him.

But he had. And he beamed. He smiled from ear to ear, and Gerard looked bewildered. Frank cupped Gerard's face and smashed his lips to his, fireworks exploding and dancing in his stomach. Gerard kissed back with all he had, and when they eventually broke apart, Gerard smiled too.

The two of them looked out the window again to see Ray, Bob and Mikey all staring at them, mouths open, eyes wide. Frank laughed and waved cheerily. Bob and Ray waved back merrily. Gerard waved too, eyes on Mikey. Mikey had his arms folded, but eventually cracked a smile and waved back. Gerard grinned.

The three outside began heading back to the bus, and Frank said quietly, 'Say sorry.'

'Sorry.'

'Not to me, dumbass,' said Frank, wrapping his arms around Gerard's waist and crushing his body to his. 'To Mikey.'

Gerard smirked. 'I know, I know...'

The bus opened and the three of them all stepped inside, closing the door at the back of them. Bob and Ray stood aside while Mikey approached Gerard and Frank, who looked like they were - and would probably remain - glued together. He smirked. 'See, Gee? I speak the truth.'

Gerard smiled. 'Asshole. Sorry, Mikes.'

'I know,' said Mikey. Frank let go and Gerard stepped forward, arms out. Mikey stepped into the hug and said 'I'm sorry too, Gee.' He stepped back and grinned at his brother. 'Now go put on some eyeliner. I wasn't lying about you looking like an ass, either.'

Gerard scowled, but smiled at Mikey, sticking up his middle finger at him playfully. Mikey gave Gerard a friendly push towards the bathroom. Gerard stepped over the debris of his forgotten anger and, grabbing Frank around the waist and pulling him with him, made his way into the bathroom.

Mikey heard the lock click on, and called, 'Hey! Tongues where I can see them!'

Frank and Gerard's laughs rang through the bus, and Bob and Ray smiled, glad that World War Way hadn't taken hold and totally destroyed the Earth. Even if the same couldn't be said about the wrecked interior of the tour bus.

So? What did you think? I hope you liked it, because it took a helluva lot of time to write, and I quite like it (if I might say so myself). Please R&R and tell me what you thought, it would make my day. Thanks for reading!

ChemicalKilljoy xo

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