I could only watch as they took his body from me, their words making no sense to my suddenly deaf ears.
I was nervously considering leaving the motel room before Star arrived, plagued with horrifying nightmares of what being a prostitute would be like... Each nightmare had ensured that I didn't sleep too well and I was starting to feel like a zombie as I walked to the bathroom and stared at my reflection for the millionth time.
That's when the knocking came. My breathing got harder and I thought I'd pass out from nerves but instead I somehow managed to pull myself together long enough to open the door and allow Star to enter my motel room.
"Nervous?" Star asked, pulling some make up out of the bag she had carried in with her.
I nodded, figuring honesty would be the best policy here. "I still don't think... I don't think I can sleep with a guy for money."
Star nodded. "It can be difficult but... you want to get over this guy, right?"
Did I want to get over Frank? "I don't know."
"Do you want to stop hurting the way he makes you hurt?" Star asked.
To that I had to nod. "Yeah." I whispered.
"Then let me help you." I didn't know anything about being on the streets. I knew nothing of prostitutes. I shouldn't have been so easy to give in... to give up on myself but I was. I sat on the bed and as powder was tossed on to my face and Star mumbled about having to cover my bruises... I felt pretty. The way she looked at me, the idea of someone wanting me... made me feel pretty. And for someone who woke up feeling ruined... feeling pretty was a huge deal.
"Men will be lining up for a night with you sweety." Star finally concluded, giving me a wide smile.
I wasn't so sure that was a good thing but I still nodded and stood, only to be handed an outfit. I glanced at it with a horrified expression and shook my head. "I'm not wearing that."
Star sighed and nodded, "Okay but just saying... It'd look sexier." I didn't care.
With that we left my motel room. The ripped jeans I was wearing with a black tank top wasn't any better than the outfit she gave me and I was shivering immediately. Despite this I decided to suck it up and let Star show me 'this whole new world' she raved about.
"So, do you know anything about self defense?" Star asked as we walked along the road.
"I know to go for someone's eyes if they attack you." I stated nervously, wondering why I had never tried to protect myself from Frank. Oh yeah, I didn't want to hurt him.
Star nodded, "That's good." She was about to say something else when a car pulled alongside us. It was this easy? Star winked at me as the person rolled down their window.
The boy was young. He looked around my age. He barely looked at us, he looked so damn nervous. "Looking for a good time?" Star asked, throwing on a playful tone as she took in the young man's appearance.
"M-maybe... How much?" He asked, voice shaking.
"100 for a handjob, 150 for a blowjob, 300 for anything else darling." Star said, smirking. "If it exceeds an hour... 450, per hour."
That was spendy. Here I was... thinking of how one would budget for a prostitute. Could I get any lamer? Any more naive? Possibly. The boy nervously nodded, "I have 300." He fumbled for his wallet.
Star smiled kindly, "What are you wanting honey?"
"Just sex." The boy choked out.
Star glanced at me, "This is yours."
What? My eyes widened and I shook my head. "I don't think..." I whispered, trailing off. She hadn't given me a single tip. I didn't know what to do. My palms began to get sweaty and I felt as if I were on display for more than just the two people watching me.
"You've got this. I'll meet you back at the motel in an hour." Star whispered, smiling at me encouragingly before walking past us.
The boy just stared at me, too nervous to say anything. My hand found his door handle and then I slid in to the passenger seat. "Here." The boy whispered, putting 300$ on my lap.
I silently slipped it in to my pocket, looking out the window as he drove us somewhere else. Where would we go? I was too nervous to ask, too nervous to look at the boy... Thankfully he seemed just as nervous as I was.
"Should I ... get us a motel room?" The boy finally asked, pulling up to a motel six about a mile away from the equally crummy motel that I had stationed myself at.
"Sure." I mumbled, brushing the hair from my face.
He smiled at me, the smile was genuine. Then he leaned forward, his eyes stuck on mine. "You're beautiful..." He mumbled, quickly kissing me. "Have we met before?"
I shook my head quickly, hoping we hadn't. What a terrible situation to re-meet someone in. "That motel room?" I suggested, trying to change the subject.
He nodded and got out of his car, leaving me alone for a few minutes.
(Third Person POV)
Eric was nervous. He had never gotten a prostitute before. His girlfriend of seven months had broken up with him and he was feeling quite crappy, finding himself driving around town looking for something... drugs? sex? Whatever would make him feel better.
That's when he saw her. She looked so familiar. Eric pulled out his cell phone as he stepped in to the motel office. Once he found the contact he was looking for he quickly texted the boy, "Hey, send me a picture of your friend... um, what's her name... Harley?"
It only took a few seconds for Alex to text him back. "Hayley?"
"Yeah, her." Eric texted back, putting money down for a motel room.
The picture he recieved was of a happier, cleaner girl... but as he glanced out at his car again he was absolutely sure that the girl he had paid to sleep with him was the same girl his friend Alex went on about at parties.
Eric quickly texted Alex the motel he was at and walked back to the car, knowing he would be unable to sleep with the girl now. Alex had only told him the other night that she was missing and they had looked, finding her nowhere. How would Alex take it that she was selling herself, like a common whore? Eric kind of didn't want to be around for when Alex exploded but they were good friends and he knew just how much Hayley meant to his friend.
Hayley stepped out of the car and sent Eric a flattering smile before speaking, "Get a room?" Now that Eric was paying attention he noticed Hayley sounded just as nervous as he'd felt before.
"I did... but um... I don't think I can do this." Eric nervously fidgeted. "Hayley, right? I'm Eric."
Hayley's eyes widened, "How do you know my name?"
"We met at a party awhile ago. Alex introduced us." Eric explained nervously.
Hayley shook her head and dug in to her pocket, pulling the 300 dollars out. She quickly flung it at Eric. "Just go away." She snapped, realizing just how hard it would be to truly escape from her life. Alex was everywhere. Frank was everywhere. She had no room left to disappear.
Eric grabbed the money and stuffed it in to his pocket, "Look I'm sorry... It's just Alex is a friend of mine. He's been worried. He had everyone from school looking for you last night and well, I texted him and..." Eric was cut off by a shout that stole Hayley's attention instantly.
I couldn't sleep. I could barely think. Gerard and Mikey kept pressing me to go to the rehab center once they had woken up but I refused to get out of bed. I was staring at the ceiling, wondering where Hayley was. Mikey told me I should forget about her and that she probably wanted some time away from me after what I'd done. I couldn't blame her but I was still worried. She was so fragile. I was at least hoping she would be with Alex. I knew Alex loved her. I could see it in the way he protectively spoke about her. I could see it in the way he looked at her. I didn't like it, but at least he would keep her safe. I wasn't exactly doing a great job at that.
My hands began shaking and my mind wandered towards drugs. I craved the wonderful high they gave me. Right now I needed so badly to be high. I needed to forget what I'd done. But for Hayley's sake I couldn't.
As a way of changing the subject my thoughts found so interesting I grabbed my cell phone. Once I flipped it open I realized I'd missed a call from an unknown number.
I closed my eyes after pressing the speakerphone button. Only seconds later did my eyes snap open to the sound of Hayley's exhausted voice. I stared at my phone as she spoke, beyond angry that I had missed her call.
"I'm ready for something bad to happen now because I've obviously done something wrong to make you hate me so much. I can't stand myself anymore Frank. What happened to us? Do you not even care how bad this hurts? I just keep asking myself why... Why'd you break up with me? Why'd you have to hurt me? Why was once not enough? You go ahead and move on... You have your band, your friends... You have everything. Do you know what I have? I've pushed Alex away. He was all I had. I pushed my dad away. I gave up being close with my dad for you! Alex thinks I'm stupid for loving you. I am stupid. Get ready darling, you're about to watch me pull my stupidest move soon enough." With that the voice mail ended.
I replayed it three times, trying to think of where she could be. What was she going to do?
Finally it clicked. I'm ready for something bad to happen... The place where bad things happen. Oh Hayley, please be safe.
Within minutes I was leaving my apartment, driving quickly towards the worst motel in town. Hopefully I would find her there. Hopefully I would find her safe.
"Parker!" I turned away from the boy I'd been minutes from sleeping with to find Frank crossing the parking lot at a fast pace, his face contorted in to a look of concern. "Thank god..." He finally breathed out, looking at me as if expecting open wounds to present themselves.
"Frank..." I whispered, my lip quivering. "I didn't really expect you to show."
The awkward boy that had brought me to this place seemed to shrink away, leaving us alone. "How could I not?" Frank asked, stepping closer. His hair was wet and I wondered just how long he'd been outside in the rain. My clothes clung to my body and I was quite cold but none of that really mattered... I'd been about to sell myself to a boy I didn't even really know. How could something as small as temperature matter?
I looked away from Frank, tears welling in my eyes. "I don't want to go down this path." I admitted, the fear I'd been pushing away finally eating at my calm.
Frank's hands closed around my arms and he pulled me against his body, whispering in to my ear. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do Parker. I know I fucked up but you didn't. You didn't do a damn thing. Don't punish yourself for what I did."
"Why?" I pulled away, staring in to his eyes. Suddenly I was very grateful for the rain despite how much colder it made me. My tears were washed away, smeared make up explained. "Why'd you do it?" God, I needed to know. I needed to know before I fell apart even more.
Frank looked away, a pained expression on his face. "I was stupid."
"It's more than that." I pressed. "Guy's don't just wake up one day and decide they are going to break up with their girlfriend's only to get addicted to drugs and come home to rape them." Well, that was a mouthful.
"You're right." Frank whispered, finally looking at me. "I thought you cheated on me."
"When have I ever given you a reason to think I'd cheat?" I asked.
Frank paused before spitting out the truth, "Kyla called me to tell me you'd cheated."
I couldn't believe it. Kyla, my supposed friend, had lied to break me and my boyfriend up? "And you believed her?" I could barely get the words out.
Frank sighed loudly. "I did."
"You'd think after three years I'd earn some trust." I spit out. "Maybe just a little."
Frank just nodded. "You're right."
The words stopped me. I couldn't think of anything else to say. On the tip of my tongue hung a million hurtful words which could easily become hurtful sentences. The truth didn't set me in free in the way I'd hoped for though... I still felt so small. I still felt so hurt.
"I loved you." I whispered, a sob breaking free from my body as I stood and stared at Frank. "Just remember that." I tried to turn away. I planned to walk away. I needed to be somewhere else. Frank had abused me. He had raped me. He had taken the love I had for him and washed it away with all of the drugs and alcohol he'd decided was better than believing in me.
Frank's hand closed around my wrist though. I didn't even feel the pain as he gently pulled me back to him, rubbing his skin against my sore wrist. "Please don't walk away from me Parker." Frank breathed out, staring down at me as he crushed me to his chest. "Everyone keeps saying things will be better if I leave but will they be?"
I couldn't respond. Being so close to Frank felt right. I didn't want it to feel right but it did.
"Look at what being away from me has done to you. What were you doing here Parker? You know this is the place where bad things happen. What bad thing were you looking for?" Frank asked, eyes burning in to mine. Should I tell him?
"I was going to have sex with the guy you saw next to me earlier." I said, horrified with the words that passed my lips. "He gave me 300 dollars."
"You were going to have sex with some stranger for 300 dollars?" Frank asked, his grip on my wrist becoming tighter.
"So, you thought being a prostitute would be better than being with me?" Frank asked, through gritted teeth.
"When did being with you become an option again?"
"When I realized I was an idiot for leaving you." Frank whispered. As I looked back in to his eyes I was surprised to see that they were filled with tears. I expected anger. He couldn't break down when I was breaking down... That wasn't supposed to happen. "I understand if you don't want to Hayley but... I'd love to give us a shot again. I mean, after rehab and... I'll do whatever it takes. You can drug test me whenever you want. We can go on double dates until you feel comfortable alone with me again... I'd do anything to get the chance to be with you again. I can't think of anybody else who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you."
I tried to wrap my mind around what Frank had just proposed but I couldn't and soon his lips were crashing down on mine and my world became gray and fuzzy. The warmth that spread through me left me clutching on to reality with my fingertips as I attempted to think straight.
"Get away from her!" And then everything came violently crashing down around me as I heard Alex's voice.
"Alex, I..." I stumbled over a possible explanation, wondering just why I felt like I needed to explain myself to him.
Alex didn't even pay attention to me though and instead walked straight towards Frank, who I had just stepped away from. My lips still tingled, the taste of him attached for the time being.
"Get out of here man. This is none of your business." Frank said, glaring at Alex.
"I promised you that you'd regret it if you came near her again. I owe you some pain." Alex slurred, quite obviously drunk.
"Oh god Alex, have you been drinking?" I asked, trying to stop the situation from becoming worse. "Come on..." I grabbed Alex's hand but he quickly pulled it away.
"Bring it on." Frank said, stepping closer.
Did they really both have to prove their manliness right now? "No, no! Don't bring anything." I quickly said, trying to step in between the two boys. "How did you get here Alex? Did you drive?" I asked, worried. "We have to get you home."
Frank rolled his eyes. "I can take him home." He finally offered, seeming to gain some sense.
"We aren't going anywhere." Alex said, shoving Frank. Frank stumbled in surprise.
"Alex, don't!" I begged, glancing at Frank. "Frank please don't encourage him. He's just drunk." I tried to explain, worried for my best friend.
Frank just grunted and stared at Alex, as if daring him to make another move. Instead I stepped up, placing my hands on Alex's chest. He'd never hurt me before, drunk or sober. "Alex, hey Alex look at me." I mumbled, trying to get him to give me a moment to talk him out of a bad situation. "Want to go home?" I asked.
"You kissed him." Alex stated, sounding disgusted. "You haven't even been out of the hospital a full 24 hours and here you are kissing him!" He yelled at me. I was expecting some anger but I never expected him to shove me backwards.
Nor did I expect that to cause more violent action. Frank immediately came forward, grabbing Alex by the shirt. "Don't fucking touch her." Frank whispered dangerously. I saw a little of what I'd seen the night he had gotten angry with me. When he looked at Alex with that look... I found myself more frightened than I'd been for myself.
"What, like you touched her?" Alex shot back. "Are you the only one who can hurt her?" Alex asked, glaring in to Frank's eyes.
Frank let go of his shirt for a second as the words sank in. "I hate myself for what I did to her."
Alex laughed. The sound was cruel and uncomfortable. "You hate yourself for what you've done?" Alex asked, rolling his eyes. "Well that must make it all fine then. You're right Hayley. This guy is one hell of a catch." Alex turned to glance at me, shooting me yet another disgusted look.
"Don't look at her. Your problem is with me." Frank snapped.
Alex shook his head. "That's where you're wrong." He spit out, glancing back at me. "My problem is with Hayley. How could you do this to me?"
"W-what?" I asked.
"I'd do anything for you..." Alex whispered. "I'd do anything to make sure you're safe." With that he stepped forward. I didn't understand what he was doing. Frank didn't seem to understand either.
Frank's eyes widened and as Alex stepped away I saw the blood begin to stain Frank's white shirt, seeping out as he fell to his knees. "Oh god..." I whispered, looking at Alex to see the bloodied knife he held tightly in his hand.
I rushed to Frank's side as Alex stepped further away, realization of what he had done seeming to have hit him. "Alex, get out of here." I hissed, reaching in Frank's pockets as I searched for his cell phone. My hand closed around it and I pulled it out, glancing at Alex as he stood in shock. "Leave!" I yelled.
I dialed 911 and quickly explained the situation, surprised with my own calm. "Please hurry. He's bleeding a lot..." I finished, hanging up to see Alex simply staring at Frank.
Frank stared back at Alex, holding his wound. "She's right. You need to leave." Frank said, his voice coming out strained. "I'm not going to let you go to jail for this when I did much worse to Hayley."
Alex nodded numbly before turning and running away from us.
"I'm sorry." I told Frank, scooting closer to him. "I'm sorry that this is all happening because of me."
Frank laughed, the laugh anything but comedic. "You can't blame yourself for being our obsession Parker." It sounded painful just for him to speak. I wanted to tell him to shut up. I wanted to tell him it would be fine but the blood spilling from his wound would prove me wrong. We all had a very long way to go before anything would be fine again. "May the best man win..." Were the last words Frank spoke before he started drifting from me.
"Frank, don't do that!" I yelled, becoming panicked. "Frank... keep talking. Oh god, please keep talking!"
But he didn't. He didn't say anything. That's how the paramedics found us. Frank's bloody body against mine, my hands soaked with his blood. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't explain the situation. I could only watch as they took his body from me, their words making no sense to my suddenly deaf ears.
(It feels like it's been forever since I've updated this story so sorry guys. Hope this is enjoyed. Can't wait to hear feedback so please don't hesitate to hit that 'review' button that most of us fanfic authors live for.)