I know, I know, a Christmas story in January? Just read =]
The dark haired teenager was sitting at his desk typing his newest installment for his Green Day fan-fiction and this week’s chapter included a smut scene between Billie and Mike. His best friend of six years was lying down on Gerard’s bed, flipping through one of Gerard’s many comic books.
“Cock, package, length, member-”
“Member! That’s perfect!” Gerard exclaimed and typed in the synonym.
“Yanno, I really have a hard time believing that you are straight when you write a sex scene between two grown ass men.” Frank said accusingly.
“This coming from Mr. BJAisSex.” Gerard said eyes still glued to the laptop screen.
“….Whatever.” Frank replied after trying unsuccessfully to come up with a good come back.
“Ctrl + S…and done. Just have to post it now.” Gerard said as he opened up a browser window and typed ‘Ficwad’ into the search menu. After a couple of minutes of clicking and copying and pasting, Gerard exited out of the Internet Explorer and turned off his dinosaur of a computer. “Oh by the way, my mom wanted me to take down the Christmas decorations.” Gerard said as he turned in his swivel chair to face his friend.
“January is like half-way over and you guys still haven’t taken down your decorations?” Frank asked.
“You act as if this is unsuspected. You know that it a Way family tradition to do everything at the last possible minute. We didn’t get the decorations up until a few days before Christmas.” Gerard replied and stood up from his chair. “So get your lazy ass up and help me.”
“Oookaay.” Frank said begrudgingly and grabbed his Mp3 and Gerard’s speakers.
“Man, how old is that thing?” Gerard asked and pointed at the beaten up music player in Frank’s hands.
“My mom got it as a graduation gift when I finished fifth grade and I'm in tenth grade now. So, pretty fucking old.” Frank said. It was true that the electronic in the short teenager’s hands had seen better days. The screen was scratched, something was wrong with the on/off slider so Frank was forced to shove the metal base of his ear buds into it whenever his wished to turn it on, and if you wiggled your fingernail in it just right you could partially separate the screen from the body of the Mp3.
“I should’ve asked Santa for a new music player.” Frank said.
“Santa exists Gerard, don’t try to deny it.”
“I don’t get why people love Santa. I mean what’s not creepy about a fat old guy that dresses up in red, sneaks into people’s houses when they slumber, steal pastries and dairy products, and leave coveted gifts in exchange. I don’t find that generous, I find that down right scary.” Gerard said.
“Somebody’s gonna get on the naughty list if they keep on talking like that.” Gerard rolled his eyes at his friend’s childish behavior.
“Sometimes I worry about you Frank.” Gerard said and eyed the Christmas tree that stood in the living room.
Gerard loathed that thing, that fake plastic lie. He hated it with every fiber of his being. Christmas trees should not be ‘taken out of a motherfucking box and fluffed up’. He missed the smell of a real Christmas tree; he missed how it would leave little green needles all over the house. He missed going to a Christmas tree farm and spending hours trying to pick out the perfect tree. He missed having to cut down the sweet smelling tree and he missed tying it to his parent’s car and lugging it home.
This plastic decoration represented everything that Gerard hated. He hated how this tree had absolutely no imperfections and in his eye, that was the biggest imperfection of them all. He hated how the hard plastic would cut into his hands whenever he touched it.
Gerard refused to decorate this tree. He would only strip this lie of its ornaments and lights and shove it back into the box where it belonged.
“Hey Gerard? You there? You’ve been giving that tree a death glare for the past five minutes.” Frank said and waved a hand in front of Gerard’s face. Gerard gave the artificial tree one last glare (just to show it who’s boss) and turned back to Frank.
“Yeah. Let’s strip this piece of shit and put it back into storage where it belongs.” Gerard said.
Frank nodded and plugged the speakers into an outlet and turned on his ragged out Mp3. Soon music was blaring loudly at an unhealthily volume and they started plucking ornaments off of the tree’s plastic branches.
“So who’s gonna take down the light strings?” Gerard asked. Frank’s pointer finger quickly flew to his nose and he shrieked a ‘Nose goes!’
Gerard once again rolled his eyes.
“Fine but you are taking down the star.” Gerard said and laughed evilly.
“C’mon Gerard, you know that’s the hardest job for me.” Frank whined. Gerard just shook his head.
“A deal is a deal.”
Frank watched, bemused, as Gerard attempted to untangle the colored lights from the plastic tree. After a couple of tries, he successfully managed to get them off of the tree and onto the floor in a tangled mess. Frank grabbed one of the stools that stood next to the bar in the kitchen and placed it as close to the tree as possible.
He stretched himself as far as he possibly could but he somehow managed to lose his balance and would have fallen down if Gerard hadn’t grabbed him.
Unfortunately, the first thing that Gerard’s hands came in contact with was Frank’s butt cheeks. Once Frank had managed to gain his balance, Gerard tried to remove his palm’s from his friend’s ass. But once he had lifted his hands, Frank began to lose his balance again.
“Well, this is awkward.” Frank said when it became clear that Gerard was going to have to continue grabbing his ass until he succeeded in getting the star off of the top of the tree.
“You have a really nice ass.” Gerard said, trying unsuccessfully to break the awkward silence.
“Gerard? Don’t try to make this less awkward. You epically fail at it.” Frank said and laughed a little.
“Just get the goddamned star off the tree so I can let go of your ass.” Gerard said and began blushing.
“I dunno why you’re getting so huffy. I mean, it’s not like your best friend is groping your ass.” Frank said as he stretched and tried to reach the coveted star.
Just then they both heard the sound of a key turning in a lock and the front door being opened.
“No no no no no no no no” Gerard chanted as he shut his eyes.
“Hey guys! I’m back!” Mikey called out to Gerard and Frank. “Where are you gu- OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK?!” Mikey shrieked as he walked into the living room. “I leave for five minutes and I come back to some weird fuck fest!”
Gerard and Frank both stared at Mikey for a long moment before Gerard held his arms up straight in the air.
And Frank came tumbling down.
Gerard realized his mistake as soon as his hands left his best friend’s ass.
“Oh fuck. I can’t feel my balls.” Frank squeaked as he grabbed his crotch and rolled around on the floor. “I feel like I just got a vasectomy.”
“Frank, I’m pretty sure a vasectomy feels a whole lot different.” Gerard said after getting over his initial shock. Gerard glanced over at his scarred brother who now had his eyes sealed shut.
“I can’t get that image out of my mind.” Mikey said and began rubbing his eyes furiously.
“Mikey, calm your balls. Frank and me weren’t fucking. He’s just really fucking short and I was supporting him.” Gerard explained to Mikey.
Mikey still had his eyes squeezed shut and was backing away. He rammed backwards into the wall and accidentally slammed his head against a hanging picture frame.
“Stop acting like a pussy.” Frank moaned from his position on the ground.
Mikey begrudgingly opened his eyes and looked at his brother.
“If you guys ever do stuff like that again, put a fucking tie on the doorknob. I really don’t want to see my brother getting it on with one of my friends.” Mikey said.
Or anyone for that matter.” He added and laughed, easing the tension.
The laugh was contagious and soon both Way brothers were on the ground laughing uncontrollably and tears started streaming down their faces.
“Glad you two are having sooo much fun. Dickfaces.” Frank said, his voice an octave higher than usual.
Mikey headed up to his room and after recovering for a bit, Frank and Gerard went back to taking down the decorations. Gerard climbed up the stool and grabbed the star that was perched on top within seconds.
“Ta-da!” He said and held up the metal star for Frank to see. He rolled his eyes and began removing the stockings that hung above the fireplace.
Gerard shimmied up to Frank and wiggled his eyebrows at him. Frank gave Gerard a ‘what the fuck are you on?’ look and Gerard pointed above them. Pinned above the mantel was a small clump of mistletoe.
Frank looked back down to his friend who was now smiling like a Cheshire cat.
Frank smirked and kissed Gerard as hard as he could. He could feel his friend’s body tense up in shock before Gerard returned the kiss just as passionately as Frank.
After a couple of moments of kissing they both separated for air, smiling like crazy.
“Merry Christmas Gee.” Frank said and planted a gentle kiss on Gerard’s cheek.
“Merry Christmas Frankie.” Gerard replied and gathered Frank into a tight embrace.
“You know, my balls still hurt.” Frank said and grinned.
“Let’s see what we can do about that.” Gerard said and grabbed Frank’s hand as they both walked to Gerard’s room.
Right before shutting his door, Gerard took a tie from his dresser and slung it around the doorknob.