I was in the supermarket buying some junk shit, and this blonde airhead with watermelon tits comes to me and....well this is the conversation (Keep in mind that I'm Egyptian, I'm pretty sure she's British or something):
Tits: Excuse me, do you speak english?
Me: Yes, I do.
Tits: Fucking finally! Jesus, can you tell the guy I need some eskablawa?
Tits: Eskablawa, I need that shit.
Me: Sorry, I've never heard of that shit before. Do you mean Baklawa?
Tits: Your accent is like so CUTE
Me: ....err thanks?
Tits: Seriously! I've never heard it before! Is that like...and Egyptian accent or something
Me: running late but don't want to be rude Uh... actually there is no certain accent for Egyptians, people talk differently.
Tits: WEIRD! So are you like single?! do you have a boyfriend?
Tits: It's probably cuz of that damn mohawk on your head. Total cock block!
Me: starting to get annoyed so I glare at her Well, I like it.
Tits: why? It's ugly. My hair is long and wavy and I got guys staring at me like all the time.
Me: eyes narrowed like slits and GLARING They're probably wondering what breed you are and how you escaped from the fucking zoo.
........and then I walked off. The last line was pretty cool, yeah? I read it on a tumblr blog somewhere and I just had to use it