Four guys in a band living in one house. What could be funnier than that? Throw in two girls, a handful of humor, a pinch of romance, and one tablespoon of drama and you've got something interestin...
Not really sure where this idea came from, but I've been so into Fall Out Boy and their music that I ended up writing it out into a story... The title of the story is an album they had, and each chapter title is its own song, and the lyrics posted just under it kind of stand for what the chapter means to me. It takes a lot of work to do that, so I really hope you guys appreciate this...
Now, disclaimer time...
I do not own Fall Out Boy or any of the song lyrics or titles that are used, and there is a quote (Which, if you're a big enough fan, you'll recognize) That belongs to Pete Wentz himself, not me. I don't own the guys, so don't sue me for writing about them, kay?
Thanks, and enjoy!
My Heart Will Always Be The B-Side To My Tongue
Chapter One: I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy...
And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again
And I've got arrogance down to a science
"PEEEEEEEETE!!" A shrill female voice rang through the house, followed by a collective groan from the living room.
"Here we go again," Joe said as he and Andy got up to leave. A second female stood up from the floor, the four of them had been watching TV when the inevitable occurred.
"There's never more than a minute of peace around here is there?" Patrick asked as he watched Cait, the other female, make her way upstairs.
"Not with Germany and France sharing the same land..." Cait replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She made her way up stairs and down the hallway, mumbling to herself. "Why those two ever dated, is beyond me. But now, we all have to suffer." Cait said, shaking her head as she neared Tara and Pete's room.
"I've told you this before, Peter." Cait heard Tara's voice coming through the half opened door.
"And was it relevant then? No. Is it relevant now? Still no!" She heard Pete reply as she pushed open the door.
"Okay, what is World War Sixteen about?" Cait said, pushing her thick framed glasses up on her nose.
Tara swept a lock of currently (she died it... a lot) brownish blonde hair out of her eyes. "I don't know how many times I've told him..." She started, but Pete cut her off.
"She's yelling at me about her freakin straightener again," he said, looking at Cait as if she could just fix everything with a snap of her fingers.
"But guys aren't supposed to straighten their hair!" Tara shouted, throwing her arms in the air dramatically.
"You know, I'm not really sure why I love you so much," Cait mumbled looking at Tara, then took a step towards Pete. "But how would Petey ever make his hair this sexy without a straightener?" She said, messing up his hair and then turning for the door. "You guys are exhausting, I surrender," she said, waving her hand in the air behind her as she left.
"Guys like you are so overrated!" Cait heard Tara's voice yell at Pete as she walked down the stairs.
Pat was standing at the bottom as Cait made her way down. "Settled?" He asked, enveloping the girl in a hug.
"No..." She mumbled into his shoulder. "I gave up; they're too exhausting for me right now."
"You poor thing... So what were they fighting about anyway?" He asked, walking her back over to the couch.
Cait smiled a little and snuggled into his side, his arm behind her. "Something dumb about a straightener..."
"Not that again. God, do they ever give up?" He asked, looking down at Cait with a smile on his face.
"Like I said to myself as I was going to sign the Treaty of Versailles number two.... I'm not sure why they ever dated in the first place, but now we all have to suffer..." She sighed, and closed her eyes for a second.
Pat leaned forward and picked up the remote, flipping through a few channels before stopping on a nature show. Cait opened one eye, and then closed it again upon finding an un-interesting show.
"Nature shows suck ass, though cobras are pretty sweet. Pretty much any animal that has a gang named after it is pretty bad ass. I would go for an animal combo, like a bear that carried a cobra -- total unstoppable force. Give that thing wings and humanity is fucked," came Pete's voice from the stairs. Without even opening her eyes, Cait erupted into a fit of giggles as Pat laughed.
After about three minutes of the three of them laughing, Joe and Andy reappeared in the living room.
"What happened?" Andy asked, reclaiming his seat in the beat up recliner.
"I don't even fucking know," Pete said, plopping down on the couch on Cait's other side. "I walked out... I'm not sure I can take too much more of that bitch yelling at me about nothing relevant."
Joe laughed. "Well why don't you just get rid of her?"
"I dunno, man. I just can't." Pete said, pausing for a second. "Whatever, I gotta run out. See you geeks later." He said, making his way to the door. As soon as it slammed, Tara was making her way down the stairs, her flip flops smacking against the hard wood at the bottom.
Cait groaned and buried her head into Patrick's side before the first word even came out of Tara's mouth.
"God I can't stand him anymore! Oohh..." She fumed through gritted teeth.
Joe laughed again. "Well why don't you just get rid of him?"
"I don't know! I just, I can't!" She said, sitting down where Pete had sat two minutes before. "Oh! I gotta run, see you dorks later," she said, making her way to the door.
There was complete silence for about ten seconds after the door slammed for the second time, then everyone left erupted into folds of laughter.
"Uhm, dÃ©jÃ vu anyone?" Andy asked after the laughter died down.
"I don't get it," Joe said, being the third in ten minutes to sit down next to Cait. "They hate each other, but they're still together, how does that work?"
"They're not technically together," Pat started.
"Yeah, they only share a room, sleep together and..." Cait paused. "Forget it; I'm not even going there..." She said, closing her eyes again.
"They're perfect for each other! I don't know why we care so much." Andy said, getting up and heading towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge and peeked in, then stood up. "Anybody want a drink, I'm pretty sure there's some sodas in the garage?"
"Grab me a Sprite?" Cait asked, and then sat up, peeling herself away from Pat. "Want something?" She asked him.
"Nope, I'm good. What about you Joe?" Pat asked.
"If there's a Coke, I want one." Joe replied, and then moved to take Andy's seat.
"What the crap are you watching Pat?" Cait asked, laughing a little bit.
Pat directed his gaze to the TV, where there was a pair of lions on the screen, getting busy.
Just as Andy was walked back into the house from the garage, hands full of sodas, Joe shouted "Pat's watching lion porn!" and Andy nearly dropped everything.
"What?!" He asked, walking over to the living area and setting the soda cans on the table. "Ohh, Pat, not in front of the lady..." He laughed, almost sitting down on Joe. "What the fuck? Hey, outta my seat!" He said, and sat on Joe anyway.
"Hey, come on! I can't see the lions..." Joe whined, trying to push Andy off his lap.
"You really want to?" Cait asked.
The four of them were so absorbed in the lions on the TV, that they hardly noticed the door opening, or Tara's shoes smacking across the foyer and towards the stairs, or the fact that the male voice that laughed along with hers was indeed Pete's, or... Or that they were holding hands.
"What?" Andy commented, as all four's eyes watched the couple disappear up the stairs.
"I still don't get it." Joe said, turning back to look at everyone else, and catching Andy at an off moment, thrusting him onto the floor with a thud.
"Oww..." Andy moaned, slapping Joe's leg.
"I don't wanna know what they're doing up there..." Cait mumbled, clinging to Pat's side once again and burying her head in his neck.
"Let's just hope they don't ever make it onto a nature show like this one..." Pat mumbled, but everyone heard him anyway.
"Eww, Pat," they chorused, all at the same time.
"Speaking of, Pat's lions are gone..." Joe stated, watching the credits roll down the screen.
"That's gonna stick isn't it?" Pat asked, and Andy and Joe smiled at him.
"Oh, we'll make sure," Andy started.
"That it haunts you forever." Joe finished for him.
"Oh, good. Thanks guys." Pat said, rolling his eyes.
Cait shuffled into the kitchen in her pajamas, an old t-shirt that belonged to someone in this house, and a pair of shorts. "Mmm, smells good. What's cooking?" She asked, walking over to the island and sitting at a stool. Patrick was standing at the stove, flipping something in a frying pan.
"Pancakes..." He said, proudly flopping one onto a plate and putting it down in front of Cait, then sliding the butter and syrup towards her. "Tell me how I did. I think this is the third time I've ever made pancakes." He said as he turned back to the stove.
Cait examined the pancake in front of her. It seemed cooked. It smelled good, and when she cut into it, it didn't run all over her plate. So yes, it was good. As far as taste...
Cait smiled as she poured syrup over the pancake and cut a piece off of it. "Looks good..." She stuffed it into her mouth and smiled. "Mmm... This is good," as if she had thought it wouldn't be. Patrick was an excellent cook, but this was the first time he'd ever made breakfast instead of them going out to eat it.
"Anyone else awake yet?" Pat asked her as Joe and Andy made their way into the kitchen. "Alright, never mind..." He said, setting another plate down on Cait's left for Joe. "Want me to make you some toast or something Andy?"
"Nah, I got it. Thanks though." He said, digging through the pantry for bread. Then he set himself to the task of getting their toaster oven to work.
"Mmm, these are good Patrick," Joe mumbled, his mouth half full of pancake.
"Anyone heard word from the wicked witch or her flying monkey?" Cait asked, looking around the kitchen.
"Aaaaahhh!! Peeete!! Stop, come on!" Tara's laughter rang from the other room. "Put me down!" She came into view, slung over Pete's shoulder and banging on his back.
"You mean, 'his flying monkey,'" Joe mumbled to Cait.
"Gimmie one good reason!" Pete said, standing in the middle of the living room.
"I'll rip this hoodie to shreds!" She said, indicating to the red Clandestine hoodie she had stolen from Pete.
"What the..." Joe started.
"Don't worry; I know how to fix this..." Pat said to him, then called to the living room. "Food, Pete!" Pete dropped Tara on the couch and made his way to the kitchen, taking the seat on Cait's other side.
"Wanna tell me what happened, Pete?" Cait asked, finishing off her pancake.
"Whuh?" Pete responded, eyeing the uneaten pancake on Joe's plate. Before Cait could press on with her questioning, Pete grabbed her fork from her hand and stabbed it into Joe's pancake as he was watching Andy struggle with the toaster oven.
"Gimmie my toast you stupid fucking toaster!" Andy shouted, going after it with a knife.
"Why do I doubt that's a good idea?" Tara asked as she sat down next to Joe.
Cait stood up and walked over to Andy. "Don't be stupid please. You're like, my last hope at sanity, don't lose it now." She joked as she took the knife from his hands. Cait smiled as she pressed down the button, and the toast popped up.
"Ohh, yeah. Forgot about the button," Andy said as he put his toast on a plate.
"Petey, can you pass the syrup?" Tara asked, pointing at the bottle that was just out of her reach.
He looked up from his stolen pancake (which he had put on a napkin because he hadn't been given a plate yet) and grabbed the bottle, smiling as he passed it to her. "There you are."
"Thanks!" She said, then dug into her pancakes. "These are really good Patrick!"
Pat blushed a little bit, then turned back to washing the dishes. Cait stood up and walked over, rinsing the syrup off her plate in the running water. "Uhm, what's going on?" She whispered. "Are they really getting along?"
"Hey, if it means they're not shouting, I don't care," Patrick replied in a hushed tone. Andy walked over as well, dropping his plate in the dish pan.
"Is this a sign of the apocalypse?" He whispered to Cait and Pat, who both just kind of shrugged in response.
Alright, so review please. It's not too hard, it's also how I'll tell when to put up the next chapter. Once I have some feedback, I'll know how much you guys want the next chapter to come out, so I'll put it out depending on reviews, for now at least... After this gerts rolling it'll be updates every four or five days or something.
Thanks for reading, and review nicely!
Psst, just for your info... Cait=Me, Tara=Kimmie, my friend and the co-author to this story... A lot of what is said by the girls is exactly what Kim and I have said to each other while writing this...
And that was a bit of insider info!