I hate it. I hate it so much. (Just some quick one-shot) Read?
Just something I needed to do. I put it in Gerard's point of view, but it's just my rambling. Not about me, I have never drank a drop in my life.
I hate it. I hate it so much. You disgusting, horrible creation. So pure in its natural form, yet so vile when consumed. It's a poison, a thing of destruction.
You come in so many different forms, in so many different bottles, under so many names, different tastes, but it always has the same result. In one form or another, you destroy. You destroy lives, families, childhoods, homes.
You even kill.
Yet the consumer almost never realizes the harm he or she has done due to you.
All the yelling and shouting that comes from their inebriated state, the feelings hurt. 'You bitch!', 'I don't even love you!', 'I only drink because of you!', all stemmed from those drinks. Yet, I just stand there, soaking it all in. They don't mean it right? No, I'm sure they don't mean it.
I hate you, how could you even exist?
The hurt that stings so much, although for some reason, I always forgive. Day after day, week after week, I forgive. Forgive all those harsh words, all those spiteful, hate filled looks. All of which will return all to soon.
But I only forgive because I know that they aren't true. Those words are only spat out because of you. Because of your horrible effects, that turn the person you love into a monster. Into something they even could not recognize. Hell, it makes some unable to return to their old ways. They just remain a horrible, despicable person, constantly fueled once more by you.
You are the liquid that runs down their throats. Giving a sense of warmth, false warmth that only lasts a moment. In reality, all this does is hurt them. In a way, it is a form of self-harm. The same as cutting, the same as tugging and pulling and clawing at yourself. If only they realized that, if only.
At first, when the first few swigs of you are taken, all is merry. All is just fine. No, it is after the fifth, or the sixth horrible glass when it all goes to hell.
'No, don't worry hon, nothing is going to happen tonight. It's only a few drinks...'
I hear that all the time, attempts to comfort me. But I know, I know all to well that it is going to happen again.
Like it always does. More of you is consumed, and they become more and more.... disgusting. Yes, that's the word, disgusting.
A disgusting mask, cloaking and concealing their true self, the good inside them. I'm just there, witnessing it all. It's like watching someone's layers being peeled off. Except that once you get to the final few layers, you don't find the best part. All you see is a raw, vulnerable, disappointing being. Something you wish you would have never seen.
Alcohol, I hate you. You've destroyed everything that I love. Who know's how something so destructive can be so readily available?
Just sitting there in a cupboard, or stowed away in the cellar, cooling in the refrigerator, or maybe hidden in a secret place. Waiting to be opened up and poured, awaiting the moment to be gulped down someone's throat.
Maybe you enjoy doing that. Maybe it gives you some satisfaction knowing you are a fucking hell sent creation.
You may be all these things, yet you are still loved and treasured.
It's funny in a way. How something so vile can be loved, but if an actual human being was as cruel as you, they would be hated. You are celebrated all around the world, even drunk in churches. Sure, everything is fine when served in rations, but everyone knows it's hard to resist you.
Everyone loves alcohol! Men, women, hell, even teenagers. Who knows, maybe even children, there must be a few out there. Giving them a short lived warmth and happiness, only to then bring pain, sadness, and depression.
Then we press repeat. And BAM! Here we go again.
So, so addictive. First sip, and you're hooked. At first, everyone is all 'It's just to loosen up, all for fun!'
What lies. It may start out as truth, but as time goes by, you find yourself consuming more and more. Soon enough, you can't stop.
But hey, who am I to judge?
That is exactly who I am.
I am the disgusting, vile disgrace of a human being. The one who cannot stop, the one who cannot help himself. I know this is all wrong, but come on, it's alcohol.
Delicious, delicious alcohol. You're like my muse. My muse that I loathe, yet love.
Alcohol, I hate you. You've destroyed everything that I love.
But I still have you.
I know you will never leave me, just like everything else. Always by my side, through good times and bad.
So for that, I love you.
Ahem.... yeah. That's all folks. My quick ramble. Just needed to type that up. So, so bad.Incessant, pointless rambling! Hope it wasn't confusing....