No Pairing. Adult Themes. Two hitmen are stuck with each other's company.
"Where's aniki?" he asked, watching hungrily as Lee unwrapped a steaming chopped steak sandwich and carefully pried open its moist split top with his fingertips. Lee tore at a ketch-up packet with his teeth and squeezed what he could from it over the hash of beef, cheese, and mushrooms.
"Brandon is with Harry at the mixer tonight." Lee said.
"That's your job ain't it?" asked Bunji.
"There's only so much of Bear Walken I can stand." Lee said, pursing his lips before biting into his steaming sandwich. He looked up at Kugashira who stared back at him, sunglasses fixed firmly in place, lips together tight on a mask of expectation. "It's a cheesesteak," Lee said after swallowing.
"I know what the fuck it is." Bunji rifled back, "you buy Bob buckets of chicken by the ton but you can't even pick me up a fucking-" Lee tossed a wrapped log onto the table, and it rolled right into the space before him. Bunji expressed his amusement with a grunt and quickly slid down into the seat, tearing open the sandwich and setting upon it like a hungry animal.
"This is good. Where'd you get it?" Bunji asked.
"At the sandwich place by the pet store." Lee replied, dabbing his lips with a napkin.
Bunji didn't miss a beat, he'd played this game too long with Lee in the past, "That's funny. Get a rise out of Bunji by saying something like, /Hey There's Cat in Your Cheesesteak/. You're so full of fucking crap. Your problem is, you like to hear yourself talk, my problem is, I get stuck having to deal with your bullshit."
Lee took a swig of root-beer from the longneck bottle and stared blankly at his reflection in Kugashira's glasses. "I got it next door at the pizza place." Lee didn't finish it; he gathered what remained into the greasy wrapping before forming into a ball and shoving it into a paper sack. Bunji finished in silence, not looking at Lee even when the man pointedly fell onto Brandon's bed, belched and seized the remote from the nightstand.
Bunji opened the door and tossed out the garbage, quickly slamming it shut to keep out mosquitoes.
"We have a garbage can." Lee said.
"Yeah, but I don't feel like having the room stink of food all night." Bunji said.
Bunji went into the bathroom, stripped to his underwear, removed his sunglasses, brushed his teeth, rinsed off his face, and then took a leak all in that order. It was a nightly ritual, just like emerging back out into the room and fixing his ass to a spot on the floor to clean his guns. Unlike most nights when Brandon did the same in another part of the room, Bunji was alone, and now quite distracted by the flicking of channels.
"Will you pick something please," Bunji snapped.
"Just concentrate on your babies." Lee smirked.
"I don't consider my guns my babies. That's weird. They're just guns, you know." Bunji said with a shake of his head.
Lee sighed in disgust, "Shit, they don't have the pay per view I like."
"They got some cool channels on here." Bunji said, putting his gun back together. Bunji concentrated now on rubbing a tiny square of cloth over the cylinder and muzzle. As he worked it over the rest of the porting he heard the sounds of lovemaking and lifted his eyes slowly toward the television screen. A hugely muscled man was slamming mercilessly into a blond waif, causing her enormous breasts to rock back and forth over the scene.
"I wonder if those are real?" asked Lee from his place on the bed.
Bunji answered quickly, "Nah, you can see the outline of the implant on the side where her titty is hanging down."
"Oh yeah," Lee said. "That's bizarre."
Bunji went back to his gun, the sounds coming from the television made him grin. He thought about breasts, and immediately thought of Lee's.
"I bench at least three days a week," Lee said suddenly.
"So, what makes you think I care, you queer." Bunji said with a smile.
"Mine are real." Lee's voice was deadpan, teetering on boredom. Bunji bared his teeth in a smile. He looked up as the man's penis slid in and out of the woman's shaven gash.
"You like blonds?" asked Bunji.
"No." Lee said. "Want to hear a joke Harry told me about Maggie?"
Bunji touched his chin to his shoulder to listen.
"What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period."
Bunji snorted. "Hey, why don't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?"
Bunji finished, "Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place."
"I got one that's perfect for you..." Lee smiled, "Why do blondes wear tampons?"
"Yeah yeah," Bunji griped, "Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too." Lee laughed vigorously at this, drowning out the orgasmic cries of the woman on the screen, and as Bunji put his guns back into their holsters he kept his back to Lee.
"You hard?" Lee asked.
"A little bit." Bunji confessed.
"I'm not." Lee said.
"That's because you're a fag," said Bunji.
"Yeah, but you'd think some sort of sexual activity would at least arouse the human in me." Lee smirked.
Bunji slid between the blankets in his bed, keeping his back to Lee.
"You ever watch yourself fuck?" asked Bunji.
"No. I'm not into that." Lee said.
The next pornographic scenario unfolded in less than fifteen minutes. Lee said nothing while Bunji needed to talk just to forget about the noise coming from the program.
"You know, when I ask you a question, and you just answer it and don't say anything else, that's really fucking weird." Bunji said.
"Excuse me?" asked Lee.
"Aniki says, Hey Bunji be more sociable with Bob and Lee. I say, /Ok./" Bunji sat up now, his eyes fixed on the screen as he spoke to Lee, "I could sit there and shoot the shit with Bob for hours. Talking to you is like talking to myself."
Bunji waited, watching the woman with fake breasts touch and fondle the penis of a new, younger man. He waited, and Lee said nothing. Finally Bunji turned to glare at Lee, whom he suspected of delivering the silence intentionally.
"You're not answering me on purpose." Bunji glowered.
Lee kept his eyes locked on the screen, his lips closed tight.
"You are such an asshole." Bunji said, and Lee exposed his perfect teeth in what was known as his signature grin. "You know what, fuck you ya faggot. I hate being on any job with you. It's like being around somebody on twenty-four hour dickhead mode."
Lee sniggered now, watching out of the corner of his eye as Bunji flicked off the light between the beds.
"Yeah, it's real funny", cracked Bunji, "fucking queer."
Lee sighed, pushed the off switch on the remote and laid in the darkness of the room listening to Bunji's steady breathing. He finally sat up and tore loose the tieback around his hair. He tensed it in his fingers a few moments before setting it down on the floor and moving to sit on Bunji's bed.
"Touch me fag and I'll shoot you." Bunji mumbled in the dark.
"I can't share with Harry again," Lee whispered.
"You did last night, what's the problem?" Bunji asked.
"He kicks around and pisses me off." Lee unbuttoned his shirt and slid it over his shoulders.
"So fall asleep before him and Aniki come back," said Bunji, "that's what I do."
"Just quit being a pain in the ass and shut up." Lee said, kicking out of his slacks.
"I mean it, your dick touches me and I'll fucking kill you." Bunji said once more.
"Are you naked right now?" Lee whispered.
"Yeah," Bunji said.
A moment of quiet passed before Bunji asked, "You hard?"
"A little bit." Lee replied.