Mikey meets someone new, and Fiona is still dwelling on the past.
The pain from the memories had done something to me; I fell out of Mikey’s bed and onto the floor. Silence. Gerard and Frank looking at me oddly, Frank grimaced; they could see that I had been crying, my eyes were probably red rimmed and I felt the remanence of tears on my face. I tried to rub them off and looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with them.
I saw someone’s feet walking towards me, he stopped before me but I still didn’t look up, scared of what my eyes would give away. He bent down and it was Frank, he tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled at me. I looked up but didn’t look into his eyes; I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I looked away; I was in a way glad that it wasn’t Mikey, if it was him I would just break down again.
I forced myself to smile “Hey, Gee, can you make us some coffee?” he said without moving his head to look at Gerard, He always kept his eyes on my face. Gerard went off to make the coffee, Frank and I stayed on the floor for a while, I felt like I was glued there.
Suddenly a noise came from outside of the bus, it sounded like someone as banging against it, Frank and Gerard had gone to the door to see what the commotion was and in that moment I no longer felt glued to the floor.
Frank and Gerard had their heads popping out, their mouth hanging open like fly traps; I looked to see what they were staring at. I popped my head outside and saw Mikey pressed up against the bus kissing a woman. She had blue flowing hair and a turned up nose. She was one of those obviously beautiful girls and she reminded me of Aurora out of sleeping beauty only she had blue hair not blonde.
I went back into the bus, desperately blinking back the tears, I was determined not to cry infront of the guys. I sat in the dining booth starring at my coffee. Soon after the guys joined me, whispering about what they had just seen and occasionally looking at me. They knew something was up with me, but didn’t want to disturb my silence.
I had finished signing for the fans and walked back to the waiting room to see Ray but no one else. “Hey, Ray, where’s Frank and Gerard?” I asked leaning on the door frame.
“They went back to the bus” He said casually.
“Oh” was all I could say, I was feeling so many peculiar emotions at the moment annoyance, jealousy, betrayal, fear and I was also worried. The emotions themselves weren’t peculiar but the reason that I felt them was… but honestly I had no idea what the reason actually was.
I quickly walked back to the bus but I was stopped. “Hi Mikey” A woman said in a seductive voice, she had blue flowing hair, an up turned nose and bright red full lips, she was obviously beautiful but she didn’t arouse me, I only had one girl on my mind at the moment, Fiona.
I quickly nodded at her and went back to getting on the bus, she pulled me back. She was surprisingly strong. What was this woman doing?! I looked at her confused by her actions.
“What, you think I’d let you get away that easily? Hehe, silly Mikes.” Only Ray called me Mikes, what did this woman want? She pushed me against the bus and planted her full luscious lips on mine.
What the Fuck was she doing?! My mind screamed, too stunned to move I waited it out. She soon, leaned away but before leaving she had stuffed my front pocket with something. She walked away and I reached into my pocket, I couldn’t believe it, it was her phone number, hotel and room number and a condom, I laughed in shock and went back onto the bus.
I rushed in and saw Frank, Gee and Fiona in the dining booth. Frank and Gee were looked at me, but Fiona didn’t move, she just looked down at her coffee. I knew instantly something was wrong. I walked cautiously towards the dining booth, I took two steps and before I knew it Fiona was standing up and walking off into my bed, she closed her curtain hard with anger.
“What’s wrong with her?” I whispered, what had happened? Did she try to get away but the guard stopped her? Did I do something? All I did was play a gig and make sure she was safe; I knew this girl was going to be the death of me. Girls in general are just so hard to understand, they get mad over the smallest things and when you ask them what’s wrong they suddenly expect you to know!
I looked at Gee and Frank and they shrugged. I sighed and went to sit down. There was an awkward silence for a moment until Ray came in. I was suddenly bombarded by questions “Mikey? What happened out there?”
“Who was that?”
“Do you know her?”
“Why were you kissing her?”
“Was she a good kisser?”
Frank and Gee didn’t give me a chance to answer each question before they asked a new one, Ray looked at me obviously he hadn’t seen what had happen “Guys, shut up for a moment, please. Ray, this girl kissed me outside the bus, well more like attacked me.” I said giving a nervous laugh and looking down, still stunned by what had happened “And guys, I don’t know myself what happened, I don’t know who she is, I’ve never seen her in my life and she kissed me! Plus I was in a bit of shock to evaluate her kissing skills.” I said, running my hand through my hair, they looked at me, probably just as confused as I was.
I showed them the contents of what she shoved in my front pocket, and Frank giggled “Why is Mikey getting all the girls all of a sudden?!” I looked towards my bed where Fiona was, and sighed, I was sure she was angry with me but I didn’t want to go over to her yet, I wanted to wait until she’d cooled down before I tried to get her back.
Mikey came, red lip stains all over his face; I looked down immediately hoping he didn’t notice. No one spoke; Mikey took two steps towards the booth. I knew I couldn’t handle being near him and hearing his proud accomplishment of pulling a girl; so I bolted for the bed. I closed my curtain and hid my head under the pillow not wanting to hear anything.
I soon felt tired and pulled my head above the pillow and put it back down, it felt that as soon as I hit my head I fell asleep. This was not a peaceful sleep though; I had nightmares, well more like passed memories of before.
*FLASHBACK: December 2012*
Walking past trying not to have any eye contact with him, he’d done what he’d done, He chose who he really wanted and inevitably that wasn’t me. I tried to seem stronger, to seem happier without him.
After three years of me being there for him, I decided to let him go. This decision was made not by me but by him, he had made the decision, he no longer wanted me in his life when he blew me off for another girl. The horrible thing was that he didn’t tell me and I didn’t really find out, I was told by some horse faced gossiper in my office that he’d gone to see the same movie on the same day but with someone else.
I lined up for my coffee thinking about what he’d done, “Liam!” I heard some high pitched girl scream, I turned to see some red headed girl ran into the arms of the guy I had once loved. I looked back at the Starbucks coffee stand, not wanting to see what happened next.
“Crap.” I muttered I’d dropped a coin.
“Here” He gave me the coin, "Still getting the caramel coffee frapps?" an obvious male voice said, I looked up, it was him, “Hello” He said, I just stood there, probably looking like an idiot.
“Can we please talk?” the last time we’d spoken was when I had found out about him blowing me off. I looked at him in disgust, after what he’s done he thought he could squirm his way back into my life?!
I walked past him quickly not looking back and not saying a word, “Fiona, please, we were best friends. What you accused me of doing? I didn’t do!” Was he seriously trying to lie to me about this, I kept walking, trying to ignore him “I’m sorry, I just want to go back to us being us” Truth was there was no us, I had always thought there was some sort of chemistry between us but he would always deny it.
“Fiona, please just answer me something, not for my sake but for yours” I kept walking; I didn’t want to hear his voice ever again. At that moment my phone buzzed, I took it out and looked that I had a text, opening it to see it was from none other than Liam.
“You’re not still cutting yourself are you? :S x”
I didn’t reply; I just kept walking.
I looked down at my wrists and saw before me what looked like a canvas, a canvas that someone had angrily ripped with a blade and had tried to glue back together. Scars were darker than my natural skin and stood out on my wrist. I started to cry again, thinking back to what seemed like a long time ago.
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