Ron asks where Harry was last night. Harry doesn't want to answer. Ron accepts this. Harry freaks out a little. :D Oneshot. Traces of slash if you squint.
Ron eyed Harry across their breakfast. "Harry, you only woke up an hour ago."
"Yeah, but I'm tired!"
"This is why you should go to bed earlier, instead of staying out late and shagging Malfoy," Ron told him, rolling his eyes.
Harry pouted. "I was not up late shagging Malfoy."
Ron blinked at him. "Then who else were you shagging?"
"Then what on earth were you doing out so damned late?" the redhead demanded.
Harry blushed, looking away. "I can't tell you."
"Yes, okay then. I accept that as your answer."
"Has 'Mione been trying to teach you tact again?" he asked suspiciously.
Again, Ron rolled his eyes. "No, Harry."
"Have you randomly become a mature individual?"
"Are you being possessed by Voldemort?"
"No - "
"An evil sneaky spirit?"
"No - "
"No - "
Harry's eyes narrowed. "Have you been stealing potions from the locked cupboard in Snape's classroom and drinking them? Because that can be really bad for your health."
"You sure? I mean, have you seen some of the things he keeps in there? That could definitely mess up your personality."
"Harry, I'm sure. I have not been doing any of the aforementioned things."
"Then what the hell is making you be so accepting of the fact that I won't answer your question with full details?"
Ron smiled serenely. "Reason one, 'Mione is worried about you and therefore listening in to this conversation, and she said she'd castrate me if I pushed too hard or upset you in any way. And reason two, Cedric Diggory walked into the room a minute ago displaying all his vital signs."
"Oh. That. Heh."
He gave Harry a frown of mock-disapproval. "Harry, have you been performing illegal necromantic rituals again?"
"What do you mean /again/!" Hermione shrieked from a few seats away.
Harry smacked Ron across the back of the head. "Now look what you've gone and done!"
"I was kidding!" Ron wailed desperately.
Cedric joined them at that moment and temporarily saved them from the inevitable Interrogation by Head Girl. "Mind if I sit?"
Harry beamed up at him. "Not at all. I was just about to tell Ron and Hermione about last night."
Blushing, Cedric raised an eyebrow. "You were?"
Harry's eyes widened and he also blushed slightly. "Not /everything/. Just the illegal necromantic part."
Cedric looked infinitely relieved.