Crash, crash, burn. Let it all burn (let's see how many of you remember that A/N!)
So here we are. Last chapter. 'Cos I just posted a massive A/N, I'm gonna keep this one short. I have to say, I wasn't sure or not whether to have it end like this. Somehow, I didn't think it'd go down too well, but fuck it - it's been planned to go like this from the beginning, and I'm sticking with it. Also, I put quite a bit of work into making it feasible. I'm not gonna say anything else, but hope youn enjoy!
I walked down the corridor, somehow feeling wonderfully happy and incredibly sad at the same time. Sad, because this was Gerard's last day in California, and that was all down to me. Happy, because things were at peace between us. I had messed up so badly, and still couldn't believe that Gerard had it in his heart to accept my apology. I knew I loved this guy for a reason.
Unfortunatly, not everyone else had been so forgiving. Phin still wasn't talking to me, and - although I wasn't sure that they actually had any idea what was going on - neither was Bob or Lissa. I could kinda understand why Lissa wasn't; she'd been best mates with Phin before I was, and us two not talking meant she had her old friend back. Or maybe it was just that the Latino girl had told her not to talk to me, and Bob was simply following by example. I had no idea how long it'd be before I could win any of them back over, but I figured that I'd managed it with Gerard, so why couldn't I with the other three? Especially as I hadn't actually done anything to them.
I hadn't eaten much for the last few days, well since last Sunday really. I just hadn't been in the mood, so I was now feeling kinda light headed, and weak, and just generally not entirely aware of my surroundings. It didn't matter too much though - it was almost a self inflicted punishment, especially with how forgiving Gerard had been to me. I really didn't derserve it, but the happiness that I'd got it filled me enough that I didn't need food.
It was just before lunch actually, and Gerard had asked me to meet him outside Science. My class had been dismissed early - a couple of the jock-types had been acting out all lesson, and in despair, the teacher had let us out a few minutes before she was supposed to.
When the bell rung, I was already in the science block, heading toward Gerard's classroom. Half a second later, kids came pouring out, slowing my progress slightly as they bumped into. The boy I was looking for was one of the last to emerge, laughing about something with Phin and Lissa. It was strange - almost as though he'd replaced me. When the girls saw me, their expressions instantly froze - becoming icy and distant in a second. It stung a little, but I focused on Gerard, whose face was splitting in to a grin. I smiled back shyly, and walked up to him. Our hands intwined, and I didn't even care about the fact that my former best friend had just stalked past me without a word.
"So what did you want?" I asked softly, leaning against Gerard and gazing up at him. I probably looked like a love sick puppy, but I really couldn't bring myself to care. I loved this guy too much.
"Well," His grin turned seductive, and my heart did this ridiculous fluttery thing. "I'm outta here in an hour - John's picking me up at lunch. How'd you fancy just forgetting everything until then?"
My eyes lit up at his request, but I was a little wary. "Are you sure?" I asked, but took the opportunity to reach up and kiss his jaw anyway. "I don't want to do something that you're not..." I spent a few seconds searching for the right word. "Comfortable with."
Gerard smirked at me. "Don't worry, I'm definitely going to enjoy this." And he leant down to smush our lips together. Joy and love and a dozen other soppy emotions bubbled up inside me, and I immediately grabbed at his face and responded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. When I did so, Gerard pulled back, and I bit my lip in guilt and disappointment.
To my surprise, he was still smiling though. "Come on, let's go somewhere more private." He said, and the negative emotions disappeared. My grin grew. Most of the students were out of the science block my now - we were banned from it during lunch. To my surprise though, Gerard pulled my further into it. I frowned in puzzlement, until I realised that he was heading for the toilets. Not the most romantic of places, but at least it was private, and I was beyond caring by this point. I was slightly shocked when Gerard dragged my into the disabled toilets.
"What?" He shrugged. "More space."
I waited for him to lock the door before launching myself at him again. His response wasn't the most enthusiactic, but then, I might have taken him by surprise slighty. And to be honest, I was surprised that he was up for this at all, after I... raped him.
Thinking that made me want to burst into tears, but it would kinda ruin the moment. Plus, Gerard had already forgiven me, there was no point in breaking down all over again. He was going to be gone in a hours, and I wanted to make the most of the time I'd been given.
Taking me by surprise again, Gerard opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. I was a little more cautious this time; taking my time to tentatively poke my tongue in to his hot, coffee flavoured mouth. His tongue met mine, and soon they were dancing together as passionately as they ever had. I could spend the rest of my life kissing him like that. Unfortunatly, I'd fucked it up big time. Hopefully though, this meant that there was some hope for us somewhere along the line, when he'd had a chance to recover from the horror I'd inflicted on him.
Somewhere in our kissing, and mild groping (I was too lost in it all to be enitirely sure where) we'd ended up sitting on the floor, Gerard straddling me. He was being a lot more dominant than usual, but I didn't mind as much as I usually would. After my attack, I could barely stand to be touched, never mind have a full on make-out session with the person who did it to me. Of course he wanted to be in control, and I admired his bravery.
Through the foggy haze of love and lust that filled me, I felt him run his hands down to my right wrist. He brought it up behind me, and pinned it against the wall above my head. Actually, it wasn't actually the wall - but one of the bars on the wall that helped support people when they went to the loo. I nearly burst out laughing at that, but again - I didn't want to ruin the mood.
So I just shifted my weight, making myself more comfortable, and sunk back into the kiss. It was glorious and hot, but still calm and loving, and fuck why did I mess up so badly? Gerard was still fiddling with my wrist, but I was beyond caring. I just wanted to make the most of the last hour I had with the guy I loved.
When his hands finally came away from my wrist, I pulled it down to wrap back around his body. Or, I tried to at least: I couldn't move it. There was a thin cord of plastic around my wrist, binding it to the bar behind it. I pulled out of the kiss in confusion.
"Gerard, wha-?" Quick as a flash, he grabbed my other hand and pinned it to the bar, wrapping something around them and pulling it tight. I didn't even have time to react, just gape at the cable ties securing each of my wrists to the plastic bar behind them.
I glared accusingly up at the older boy, unable to feel a little scared. He drew back so our bodies were no longer touching.
"Think you'd get off that easily Frank?" He said quietly. He was still smiling, but now it was twisted and sadistic as opposed to happy.
I couldn't help but be a little impressed with my acting skills as Frank stared up at me in disbelief. He clearly had no idea what was going on. There were a few more cable ties in my pockets, and I added a couple more to each wrist, just to make sure that he definitely wouldn't get loose.
"Gee..." He whispered, and I could practically hear his heart break. Good. "What are you doing?"
I closed my eyes for a moment, ignoring the hurt in his voice, and all of the anger and rage and hate I had for him. Frank had done more than broken my heart - he'd broken me, and now I wasn't even entirely sure who I was. There was only one stable thing I had to hold on to, and that was revenge. What he'd done to me felt like it had set every fibre of my body alight, so I'd thought up a fitting punishment. It was cruel and sadistic, but I didn't care. Hell, that just made the whole thing better. If the boy didn't realise just how much I hated him after this, he's clearly got something wrong with him. I smirked at the thought of what he was going to feel knowing that it'd easily match the torture he'd put me through.
I wondered what I looked like in that moment. I could feel a smile twisting my lips, but it wasn't a genuine, happy one. In fact, it probably resembled the look Frank had worn last Saturday night after he'd.... he'd hurt me past repair. Well, he probably wasn't going to be able to fix himself after this either.
Again, I marvelled at the fact I'd managed to pull it off. How the guy had believed that I'd ever forgive him after what he did was beyond me. Everytime I'd had to touch Frank, I'd felt like screaming; and kissing him made me want to throw up. Preferably right down his throat. Oh well, it was worth it for the situation we were in now. My ex-boyfriend was going to burn in hell - I was going to make sure of it. First though, he was going to burn on Earth.
"Gerard?" Tears were running down the boy's face now, and he looked even more vunerable, even younger, even sadder than he had when apologing on Monday. I still didn't feel any pity. I genuinely believed that he deserved it. He deserved everything he was going to get. Without a word, I turned and left the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
The science block was deserted, as I'd hoped. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of this. Thank goodness it was out of bounds during lunch break. Quickly, I ran into one of the classrooms and began turning the gas taps on. There were quite a few in here, despite it being a small room. When I left, I propped the door open, allowing the foul smelling, but colourless gas to leak into the corridor. I ran around the other classes; turning the taps, opening doors, and closing any window I found open; making sure the entire science block would fill with the gas.
I didn't know how long it woud take for the gas to disipate around the building, or how I'd manage to light it without killing myself. Hell, I didn't even know if this would work, or just set a few smoke alarms off. It didn't really matter though. In my slightly warped state of mind, I didn't have anything left to lose.
Hanging around one of the windows down the other end of the block were a pair of sky blue curtains. I couldn't quite tell what they were made of, but I didn't doubt that they'd burn. Perfect.
I walked along the corridor towards them, passing the bathroom Frank was locked in on the way. I couldn't hear anything from in there, which was both good and bad. What if he'd somehow managed to get loose? I'd managed to tie him up the first time, but that was only because I had the element of surprise. There's no way I'd manage to pull it off again. No, I thought to myself. Cable ties are damn near impossible to untie without scissors. And he wouldn't be able to use them with both hands tied up. He'd have to be super-human strong to tear those things.
Just to be sure though, I poked my head around the door. Frank was still sitting there, four or five plastic strips still securing him to the bar by each of his wrists. He was staring blankly into space and didn't even seem to notice that I'd opened the door. I frowned, wondering why he wasn't screaming and trying to break loose. I would have been. Oh well - he'd probably gone into shock or something, and I wasn't going to complain that he wasn't attracting attention.
I withdrew again, leaving the door slightly open this time. Back in the hall, the smell of gas was obvious, and I guessed that I'd have to move fast, or risk killing myself. Running up to the curtains, I pulled out my lighter, and poised it to light the bottom of the drapes. I hesitated when I saw a fire alarm right next to it.
'Smash glass in case of fire' it read. I shrugged and banged my fist against it. The glass broke easily, and the clear, slightly piercing sound of bells filled the halls. I nodded in approval - after all, I didn't want anyone else to get hurt. Turning my attention back to the curtain, I held up my lighter and clicked it on. After a few seconds, the bottom of the material began to smoke, then the flames lept up and began to consume it. I watched their progress for a few seconds, then turned on my heels and ran. When I left the science department, I slammed the doors closed behind me, hopefully trapping both the gas and the flames.
I stared at Gerard as he walked out, not even glancing back at me. All of the despair and depression that I'd held back over the last couple of days washed over me with renewed force. I just sat there, staring into space, my body unable to translate the pain I was feeling into actions. I couldn't even cry at the knowledge that Gerard had never forgiven me, just played me along so he could get revenge. Part of me wondered what he was doing right now; I doubted that simply locking me in a bathroom was his idea of punishment. Maybe it was just leaving me here to cope with the rejection that was tearing me apart - that would work. As if I didn't regret my actions enough already.
It was funny really, how calm I probably looked on the outside - just sitting there whilst tied up. My insides were churning; becoming a tangled mush of pain and hopelessness. And I just sat there, staring into space. I vaguely noticed the door opening, but the emotions inside me seemed to have drained all my energy, and it felt like too much effort to look up and see who it was. The door swung shut again, not closing completely, but enough to blot out the rest of the world.
I sat there blankly for several more minutes, emotions still in too much turmoil to even consider moving. Then something jolted me to my senses. A shrill, piercing ringing filled the air, and I automatically registered it as the fire bell. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of someone running back past the toilet I was tied up in. It took me antoher few moments to react, then another chemical shot through my already hormone filled body - adrenaline.
Suddenly, I came alive again, and registered exactly what that bell meant. There was a fire somewhere in the building, and I was tied up inside. For a few seconds, I thought about the possibility that Gerard had just set it off to scare me. Surely he wouldn't actually set the place alight? Then, I remembered the look on his face, and all of a sudden, that seemed like a feasible possibility.
I began thrashind around in the bonds, but the thin strips of plastic weren't giving. Nor was the bar they were attached to. Mind you, that was designed to support people who couldn't stand on their own - it wasn't going to come away from the wall under the weight of an already skinny seventeen year old, who hadn't eaten properly in over a week. I still struggled, but began yelling as well, begging for help. Of course, no one was in the science block and even if they were, they wouldn't have heard me over the bell.
Tears began to stream down my face, and panic surged through me as I twisted and writhed in my bonds. Scarily enough, I could smell what could only be gas in the air, and the temperature around me was rising. My struggles and yells increased, praying that someone would check the building soon. If not, it looked like I was going to be burnt alive.
Thankfully, I got out of the science block before the gas caught alight. I was still kinda worried that it wouldn't actually work, but I had my fingers crossed in my pockets.
Students and teachers alike were heading to the school playing fields; students peering towards the building in hope of seeing tell-tale signs of smoke or flames. So it didn't look too unsual that I kept on glancing at it, trying to figure out how long it would be before the fire took hold. Hopefully before anyone noticed the absense of Frank Iero. I grinned sadistically at that thought - he'd soon be experiencing as much agony as he'd put me through.
On the playing fields we were supposed to line up according to our homeroom, but most people were ignoring this - standing in bunches of cliques, and stamping their feet against the relative cold. I heard one girl joke that at least if the school was on fire, they'd be warmer. My grin grew - Frank was gonna be hotter than ever soon.
I saw Bob standing around with Jared and Amy, and made my way towards them.
"Hey." The girl said as I approached.
"Hi. What do you think's going on?" I asked, as if I didn't know.
"Dunno." Bob answered. "It seems genuine though - look at the teachers."
I glanced around, seeing that the staff did seem more stressed than usual and there was a note of panic in the way that they were ushering kids towards where they were supposed to be lining up.
"There's no point standing here - let's what they say." Amy said, rubbing her hands together to try and warm them up. "If this is just a drill or something, the sooner we do as we're told, the sooner we can go in."
"It's not even that cold!" I laughed. After all, New Jersey would have been this temperature a few months back.
"It's bloody freezing!" She responded, and began walking to where the rest of our homeroom were lining up. Of our group, Phin and Lena weren't there, but I didn't think the blonde girl had come into school at all today. She'd been absent a hell of a lot recently. Jared had also stopped coming in everyday (not that either of them had never skipped before).
A teacher came over and tried to organise the group into alphebetical order, but everyone collectively ignored him. I was still unsure about disobeying a teacher so directly, but the longer it took them to organise everyone, the longer it would take to realise Frank wasn't outside. Because of his record, there probably wouldn't be an immediate panic either - the teachers would just assume that he was truanting again.
However, there was an unexpected flaw in my plan. Because most of the group seemed a little wary of Frank these days, I'd guessed that not of them would notice that he was missing. As the four of us merged with the rest of our group, several things happened almost at one. The first thing was for Phin to appear.
Her hair was messed up, and the purple stuff she had smeared on her lips had migrated across her face slightly, making me smirk. She'd obviously taken advantage of the fire alarm to have a quick tryst with Andy; her wide smirk saying as much.
The second thing was the gas finally to ignite (ok, it had only actually been about a minute since I started the fire, but somehow I assumed that it would happen faster than that). There was no huge explosion like I'd come to expect from watching sci-fi movies, instead, flames suddenly pressed against the science block's window's lighting the building with a strange inner glow. One of the windows that I didn't notice was open when I was inside expelled as small amount of fire, but that soon burnt out.
Everyone facing the school gasped at the sight, and the rest turned in time to see the flames take hold of the actual building. Tense but excited chatter swelled up amongst anyone not too shocked to speak.
"Gerard?" I turned in the direction the voice came from. Phin was staring at the building in horror, eyes wide and fearful. It was the first time I'd ever seen her scared. "You came out with Frank, didn't you?" The girl turned towards me, her green orbs piercing me.
"Er, yeah." I tried to lie smoothly, but even to me the words sounded false.
Although her eyes were still full of worry, Phin's face instantly became terrifying as she picked up on deception. "Where is he?" She snapped. "He better not still be inside."
Instead of taking my chances with words again, I just shrugged. Fury washed over her face and she turned on her heel and ran over to the nearest teacher.
"Gerard?" Bob asked, seeming confused instead of angry. "What's happening?"
"I don't know." It was easier to lie to him than the girl. "I left Frank inside about five minutes ago, and when I told Phin she lost it."
The boy frowned, as we heard her yell to the man she was adressing. "Frank! Frank Iero - he's still inside! You have to go and find him! He'll burn to death for fuck's sake!"
"Look," the teacher said, trying to calm his frantic charge. "It's ok - we'll check where he is - he's probably fine."
As if on cue, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from John, telling me that he was out front and to hurry up, or I'd miss my plane home.
"Look guys," I said, only getting the attention of Kyle, Amy and Bob though. It didn't matter - really Bob was the only one I owed anything to. "I've got to go, my uncle's outside and I've got a plane to catch. It's been great knowing you guys, it really has - I'll see you around at some point, yeah?"
"Oh no, Gerard!" Bob said, looking distraught. "We were gonna give you a proper send off, make it memorable you know."
"The school burning down is enough for me thanks!" I joked, privately thinking that getting revenge on my shit of an ex-boyfriend was more than enough. Spreading some happiness for the kids that wouldn't have to go to school anymore was an added advangtage.
"I guess." Bob grinned. "Come back out and visit us at some point though, yeah?"
"Sure." I smiled back.
"See you 'round Gee." Amy said and hugged me, to my surprise.
"Yeah, bye." Kyle agreed. The others were still too distracted by Phin's shouting to notice.
"See you guys - it's been great here!" I smiled, deciding now would be a good time to go before the other kids started questioning me on Frank's where abouts.
I found the nearest teacher (that wasn't dealing with Phin) and explained that I had a plane to catch and had to leave. They recorded my name, and escorted me around to the front, where John was waiting, the trunk of his car full of my luggage.
"Hey kid." He said, as I slid in.
"What's going on?" He nodded towards the fire service, which had somehow already arrived.
"Some maniac set the science block on fire." I laughed at the irony.
"Well, that's a good send off!" John joked back.
"We better get going then."
As my uncle started the engine and drove away, I stared out of the window; wondering how much pain Frank was in right now, or whether the flames had already consumed him. I didn't really care - either way, he was never going to hurt me again, and I was on my way back home, finally leaving the horrible state that had caused my heart to be broken, and my skin to be tanned.