One Shot: mikey has passed away and gerard cant get over the guilt. (please read)
Everything reminded me. I rushed around the street desperate to find somewhere that didn’t bring back the memories but there was always something, from as big as a favourite clothes shop or as small as seeing the same coffee he ordered every day, written on the board in Starbucks. I stood and stared at the chalky blackboard for several minutes.
“Sir Can I help you?” I continued to stare at the board
“Excuse me sir” the impatient woman behind me in the queue shook me, bringing me back into reality
“Sir what would you like to order?” the guy at the counter repeated for the third time
“A white coffee with extra whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.” I replied roughly. It was the same coffee Mikey always had. I remember when he used to guilt me into giving him my wallet because I wouldn’t buy it for him. Typical of him to want the most expensive one on the menu.
I looked over at the table by the window. Our table. I remember when he would always leave it to cool for five minutes, drink half of it then complain it was too cold. I chuckled at the memory and took a sip from my coffee.
I walked past the music shop and a glittery silver shine caught my eye. It was the finish of a bass Mikey had been hinting he wanted for his birthday; I was planning to buy it for him. I had been saving up all year. But he’s gone.
I remember the time we went into the shop and you started to complain there weren’t any purple guitar straps, you got so annoyed that you asked to speak with the manager and he told you to come back when purple was considered cool. Your face almost went purple and I listened to you rant all the way home. I hated it then but now, I miss that, I would listen to you rant all week if it meant seeing you again, hearing the sound of your voice one more time.
I wandered into the shop not knowing what else to do. I haven’t cried over the death of my only brother, my best friend, is something wrong with me? I stepped into the second row of shelves and saw Mikey’s amplifier sitting on the top shelf. Mom decided to sell them after Mikey died, she couldn’t bear the memories more than I could.
I remember on Christmas when Grandma Helena gave these to you. When you first saw them your eyes lit up like two bright stars and you smiled like a Cheshire cat. How I long to see that smile. We didn’t get any peace for the rest of Christmas once you had figured out how to connect your bass to your amp. We all sat and listened as you played iron maiden and misfits to the best of your ability, I always envied how talented you were but now I just want you back. We all do. Frank has moved back with his grandpa. He couldn’t bear to walk past our house and not see you ever walk out of it. It reminded him everything wasn’t a dream; he won’t admit it to himself that you’re gone. Ray keeps himself busy with his guitar. He plays gigs as often as the venues are open, he is just trying to forget too, but we will never forget you Mikey way.
I peered at the price of the amp and decided to buy it back again. I want to hold onto every little bit of him that I can, every last memory of his existence, all the things he loved. I lugged the amp to an old bench just outside the shop and sat there for a while. I had come here because I couldn’t face going to Mikey’s funeral. I didn’t want to face the tears, the sorrow…the blame. All I felt for Mikey’s death was guilt. He died in a car crash and I was driving. I didn’t look before driving out into the three way road and a truck drove right into the passenger’s side. Mikey didn’t survive.
I remember the life support they had you hooked up to. They told us you weren’t going to make it but we wouldn’t pull the plug. We couldn’t. HOW COULD I LET YOU DIE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I was the one driving. You had so much to live for and I took it all from you. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. I picked up the amp and now I knew exactly where I was going. Mikey’s funeral.
By the time I got there everyone was gathered around Mikey’s newly buried grave. The words “beloved husband, brother and son” were engraved into the marble headstone, only the best for Mikey it’s what he deserved. My mother stepped forward and placed a rose on the loose soil followed by his wife Alicia and other family and friends. I stepped forward feeling I should do something too, and placed the amp beside his grave. “Keep rocking mikes” I whispered to the sky. For a split second I felt the atmosphere change and the faint sound of a bass tune. It was astro zombies by the misfits. Mine and Mikey’s favourite song. I felt more tears stream down my face as the rain began to pour; causing the amp to send sparks flying. The rest of the people followed the vicar inside the church but I stayed. I picked up the amp that was producing its own firework display and placed it on the other side of Mikey’s grave, between him and Grandma Elena’s grave. They were buried next to each other as Mikey requested. When I die I wish to be buried next to, my brother, my best friend, the legend that never got to show his talent and potential. Mikey way xxx
was this okay??? i have never written anything like this before and i was kinda worried about posting it but excited at the same time and i none of my friends would reply to me D: so im just gonna post it if you dont like it its not like you know where i live and can come kill me for writing crap stuff is it. i really hope you enjoy and please R&R i hate it when people read fics and dont R&R. OH and i know some people were getting confused as to who was speaking, it was Gerard's point of view.