178,144 views. A list of things to say randomly at the wrong times, and a list of things to do to make people stare at you.
1.) "I LIKE POTS."
3.) While sitting in a desk during class, wrap your legs around the front pegs of your desk and grab the top with your arms. Remain like this and occasionally rock back and forth.
4.) (Also to be done during class) Whenever you raise your hand and the teacher calls on someone other than you, whisper "incorrect" to whoever the teacher had called on after they give their answer/useless opinion.
5.) Walk backwards with your feet apart.
6.) "I like to mash potatoes with my toes."
7.) "Ever wonder what a vegetable thinks about?"
8.) "My grandma irons her diapers."
9.) "I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die."
10.) Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!". Run and pretend to trip.
11.) When someone says "Have a nice day!" stare at them and say, "Don't tell me what to do!"
12.) Put a letter in the post box addressed to "Mr. Postman" thanking him for all his hard work.
13.) Walk up to a random person and say "I know what you did last summer", then walk away.
14.) Go to Burger King and ask them for directions to McDonalds.
15.) Order pizza with pepperoni and make it clear that you need the pepperoni on the RIGHT side of the pizza, not the left.
16.) Go to McDonalds and ask for a happy meal with extra happy
17.) Fill water balloons with soap and water and wash your car.
18.) "Chess is a racist game."
19.) Prank call somebody and ask them to come over to kick your dog.
20.) Go into a bookstore and ask if they sell books.
21.) Look through window/see-through glass, and when someone is on the other side, shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
22.) Fill your mouth with whipped cream, then run down the street screaming "I HAVE RABIES!".
24.) Go to PetSmart and buy bird seed. Then ask the clerk how long it will take the birds to grow.
25.) Go to Walmart, find a random old guy and yell, "GRANDPA! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! IT'S A MIRACLE".
26.) Go to the store. Start rolling around on the floor. Scream "Clean up on Aisle 3!". It is highly suggested that you actually do this in Aisle 3.
27.) Tell your dad in a public place "Look, old man, I don't want your candy!". Act afraid.
28.) Walk around with a blow dryer and ask people if they want a blow job.
29.) Go to Walmart, sit on the sink in the bathroom and say hi to everyone that walks by.
30.) Wear blue lipstick and tell every one who asks why that it's because you ate a smurf.
31.) In a public place, hold up a box of Cheerios and yell "FREE DOUGHNUT SEEDS!".
32.) In Wal-mart: Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
33.) Hire a taxi. When the man asks you where you want to go, say "To infinity, and beyond".
34.) Go to McDonalds and ask for fries without the potatoes.
35.) Create an account on a dating site and say you are not looking for a relationship.
36.) Defend your fortress (room) from the imaginary lettuce warriors.
37.) Write a beautiful acrostic poem for your enemy. The letters should be "y, o, u, s, h, i, t, f, a, c, e".
38.) Talk to the little man on your shoulder in public, preferably when you're near the elderly.
39.) Repeatedly type Google into Google and see if you create a vortex that destroys everything.
40.) Say .com after every sentence.
41.) Whenever a skateboarder goes pass you on a skateboard, yell "YOUR BACK WHEELS ARE TURNING!" in a worried way, and watch the skateboarder get distracted and fall.
42.) "Everything was going great this morning, until my cat SHIT IN MY SHOE."
44.) Whenever possible, say daangg gurrlll.
45.) Go to Walmart and hide in a bathroom stall. When someone opens it, say "WELCOME TO NARNIA!" with a happy expression on your face.
46.) Walk into Walmart (or just a store) and shout "What year is it?", and when they say "2014", yell "IT WORKED!" and run out.
47.) Have the shorter one of your friends dress up in all green and go up to someone, saying "Ye' stole me' lucky charms!" in an Irish accent.
48.) Walk up to a random stranger (or someone you know that has no idea what you're about to do) and say "Not everything is about you, Steve!".
49.) Go up to a person named Jude and sing the song ""Hey Jude":https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDdI7GhZSQA".
50.) Attempt to make a doughnut out of cookie dough or brownie mix.
51.) Try to play the guitar with your foot.
52.) Go into an elevator with your best friend. When the doors are opening, say "Quick, hide it!" before the person gets into the elevator.
53.) probably sounds really odd, this one, but omg it's hilarious Go into a public bathroom, such as Walmart or Target. Go into a stall next to an occupied one and make fake fart noises.
54.) Stop at a fast-food place, like McDonalds or Wendys, and ask the cashier for ketchup packets only. Hand the packet to someone random and leave.
55.) Walk into Walmart and follow the first person you see. Never quit trailing behind them until they leave the store. Try not to follow them to their car
56.) While shopping at a grocery store, see if there are any pineapples in the fruit section. If there is, grab one and begin screaming "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, SPONGEBOB!"
57.) Order take-out from Dominos or Papa Johns. When the pizza guy comes to your door, seem confused and look down at a Pizza Hut menu.
58.) Next time you go to a commercial store, follow someone around and narrate their every action.
59.) Buy false eyelashes. Wear them on your eyebrows and tell everyone who asks that your eyebrow hairs are attracted to them; they just want a hug.
60.) Order a diet water at any restaurant.
61.) Rub pink eyeshadow around your eye area and see if people ask if you have pink-eye.
62.) Hide a walkie-talkie in an outdoor tree (preferably near a congested sidewalk) and scream when people walk by.
63.) Stand in the middle of a crowded place and point up. See if anyone looks up.
64.) Draw a mushroom in the corner of your classroom whiteboard, and see how long it stays there.
65.) When a classmate raises their hand to ask a question, high-five them.
66.) Hold a sign that says "Free hugs!". When someone tries to hug you, scream obscenities and run away.
67.) (credit to Julian) Make a hot Kool-Aid stand.
68.) Hollow out a coconut shell and cut it in half. Have one of your friends bang the halves together as you prance about in public as if you're riding a horse.
69.) Buy a teacher or close friend a bouquet of roses. Act as if you're handing them to the person, then eat the roses.
70.) Ask a stranger if they have had their daily share of bagels that day.
71.) Squirt people with water with a water-gun as you hide in a nearby bush.
72.) okay this actually happened to me and my friend when we were watching House at the End of the Street Dressed as a homeless person, go into a movie theater and take a large brown bag with you. Make sure you sit in an aisle with few (but some) people. During a silent part in the movie, take from the bag a piece of bread and a hunk of cheese, and rub the cheese onto the bread. Proceed to do this and make audible "mmmm" noises as you do so. Put the items back in the bag and leave.
73.) At your school, go into the classroom closet and stay there for the entire class period making strange noises every now and then. It is suggested that you make noises audible only to those around the closet and not to your teacher!
74.) Search the thug tag on tumblr. don't
75.) Tape candles to the wall and light them. Attempt to tape them securely as to not light things on fire unnecessarily.
76.) Dance by yourself when you're home alone. It is highly rewarding and is best done stark naked.
77.) Smear some peanut butter on a log. Hunt for ants and stick them to the peanut butter covered branch, then present it to your mother. Ants on a log. What a healthy snack.
78.) Revisit old memories by reading your diary written by your younger self. Share the memories with others in a public place like a store or park; tell them the story of your life.