I lay in bed for a week, curled up in darkness, in the messy blankets and sheets.
Jamia would come in every so often and leave me food, I'd just pretend I'm sleeping every time someone came in, I'm not in the mood for interacting with people.
I was listening to the deep sound of Franks voice, trying to figure out who he was talking to (because it wasn't Jamia's voice replying) when Bandit waddled into the room and climbed onto my bed, cuddling me, falling asleep next to me quietly. I stared at her for a few minutes startled then I too fell asleep.
When I woke up she was gone and so was Franks and the other voices.
It was quiet and I felt sick, I ran to the bathroom and threw up loudly into the toilet.
I collapsed onto the cold tiles and I didn't have the strength to get up or move, probably because I hadn't eaten in a week.
When I regain strength I stagger downstairs, no Frank, no Jamia, no Cherry, no Lilly.
What the fuck?
Where is everyone?
I go back upstairs and lie in bed watching the sun fade and the moon rise in the sky from the window seat until I hear the sound of the front door opening, keys being thrown onto the table and it's not who I expected to come upstairs.
"Blake" it's Alicia, Mikeys wife.
"Are you okay?" she asks quietly, I shake my head slowly and shut my eyes tight.
The last time I sat in a window seat was with Steph and I haven't seen her since then, they took her away and I don't know when I'm going to see her again.
"Blake, come with me" she reaches out to put a hand on mine and I flinch back, she twitches but rests her hand on my shoulder. I turn to face her and her face is panic stricken and worried, "Come with me" she repeats a little louder.
"Where's Mikey?" I ask as I stand up, I tower over her now so she has to slightly look up to be looking directly in my eyes-
"Um... He-" she trails off and we go downstairs together.
She picks up her keys and locks the door behind her and then we both hop into the small Holden and I can't tell where we're going.
I haven't been out of that room in a week and it's so strange seeing my surroundings again, things I used to pass everyday and not pay attention to I'm now noticing and its strange, especially at night.
She takes a left and I know where we are, I've been here a lot more times than you'd think- its the clinic.
I frown at her in the darkness and she must've caught me because she twitches her expression into this face :/
"Alicia-" I say worriedly, but I don't know what else to say.
"Alicia" I repeat, and I'm scared now.
She leads me upstairs, normally they'd lead me downstairs into the same, big, white room- she takes me upstairs and into a room that's pitch black. She finds my hand in the dark and leads me through, "Look" she whispers, I'm confused but then I realise that we're not here so I can be put in an isolated room again, we're here to watch Steph in her own isolated room.
My throat is dry and my words come out messed up, the best I could do was whisper "Steph".
I'm crying again, I'm watching Steph hug her knees as she's lying on the floor, she's crying and I can tell she's biting her lip because it's bleeding again, the stitches are gone (she must've pulled them out herself because she was meant to go to the hospital to have then removed in a week from now) they've made her wear a white tank top and black shorts, even though it's the middle of winter.
But she's not hugging her knees because she's cold, no. She's doing it because she's scared and I know exactly how she feels.
"She hasn't eaten or slept or spoke to anyone at all since they brought her in" it's Mikey's voice and the sound of it in the darkness makes me jump.
"She can't talk to anyone, she-"
"If you know something we don't, you better start talking" Frank says, appearing from a corner somewhere.
"She hasn't had anything to eat or drink or anything?" Gerard shakes his long blonde hair and it's glowing in the darkness, "Nothing" he tells me;
"She has anxiety disorders, she needs to take Alprazolam, Valium and Prozac and she takes iron tablets because her bones are weak and Codeine because she's an insomniac and she can't fall asleep without listening to music even after taking codeine. Frank, look at her! We have to help her! We have to get her out of here!"
It's the first thing I've said in a long time and it's the most meaningful;
They all look at me amazed, Frank nods his head and a doctor appears in Steph's isolated room.