One-shots that get in the way of the main story.
Hagrid was sitting in his house thinking over the talk he'd just had with his on agin off again girlfriend, Olympe Maxime. He just couldn't figure why she would want him to do such a thing. It was unnatural, just plain old unnatural. If anyone saw him he'd never live it down and he'd been to AZKABAN for Merlin's sake.
Why would she ask him for this of all things. He figured this was the payback she promised when he /accidentally /stuck it in the wrong hole, but she said she liked it after so that can't be it. He reckoned it was one of those crazy french things like not taking a bath and smothering yourself in cologne. He still didn't understand that. He figured if you was going to stink stink don't evaporate good peoples nose hairs while you do it. No, he only wore cologne when he wanted to get lucky with Olympe, and then only because she insisted.
He looked at the item in question before looking away quickly and shivering. "Why'd she wan' meh ta wear dat is beyond meh." He started walking around the hut and drink firewhiskey grumbling about not enough firewhiskey in the world to make him wear that.
Well it turns out he was wrong it only took him one barrel and ten bottles to decide it might be not so awful after all it was only a bit of fabric. "I reckon it couldn' hurt ta try it on. Not like anyone around ta see meh do it ." So Hagrid started to put on the item in question when he had to stop because the material looked like it was going to rip so he started to shimmy trying to get the material on. When he finally got the item on he went to the mirror and started to look at how he looked. "Not bad, not bad at all. It's actually a little bit nice. I reckon I see why Olympe likes to were these things." Suddenly, there was a knock at the door of his hut.
"Hagrid, you in there I need to get my cloak back. I left it on the back of your chair when me and the girls stopped by for tea earlier." Hagrid froze when he heard Harry at the door his brain just stopped working which is probably why he just stood there with a deer in headlights look as Harry came into the hut. As Harry looked up to ask Hagrid how he was, he stopped with his mouth hanging open, because there standing in front of him was Hagrid wearing a gold ball gown. They merely stood there staring at each other when Harry seemed to shake it off and started to walk over to his cloak. This also seemed to snap Hagrid out of his trance, and he started to open his mouth to speak, when Harry merely raised his hand and said, "Don't want to know." He started to walk out when Hagrid suddenly opened his mouth again. Harry merely raised his hand again and said, "I really don't want to know." As Harry walked out he called out over his shoulder, "Don't worry, I want tell anyone except the chosen." At this Hagrid started to sputter and couldn't seem to form words enough to tell Harry to not tell anyone. By the time he seemed to be able to form the words Harry was already in the castle. He almost started to run after him when he remembered what he was wearing and merely groaned and sat down at his table and started banging his head on the table swearing up a storm about cheeky bastards with too many people in their harems.
A/N: Short, I know, I started on the next chapter of the chosen one's chosen when this plot bunny came up and I just had to kill it. Sorry, I'll probably incorporate it into the story somehow, but I just had to tell this side of the story.