Gerard says his last goodbyes finally has to face his fears against Bert. The second fear is telling his mom the truth of him and Mikey, but he doesn't know how she's going to take it.
“Mmm, a bad employee, I am,” he came over and straddled my lap, his legs around my hips. “Gee, boss. How can I make up for it?”
His hand wriggled between my legs and rubbed me slowly, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, “How about this? How does this feel?”
“Baby… you don’t even know,” I drawled.
My hand undid his pans as he continued rubbing me, with more speed, and pushed them down. He got up and off of me, pulling his pants down along with mine (boxers included) on a pile of his clothes. “I’m going to take care of you… right now,” he said, kissing my lips.
My hand found his hard dick, begging for my attention, and rubbed him the same place as he went on me. “I’m going to take care of you too, baby. I want to make you feel good. Especially, before you, unh, leave.”
He smiled and kissed me more aggressively, pushing his tongue into my mouth, clashing with mine. “I want you, Gerard,” he moaned against my mouth.
“Take me, Mikey. I want you too. I need you,” I moaned back.
I thought back to our saying, whatever happens to me will happen to him. “Do you remember where
I put lotion or something?” Mikey moaned close to my ear as he kissed my neck.
I forgot that Mikey didn’t have any lube or oil. I just got lucky from my parent’s room. “Um, I think it was in the basket out there. Get the peppermint one. You’ll see. It’ll be like the cherry lube used In our favorite stories.”
He pulled off my lips and lap, running out of the closet to find it. He ran back in and jumped excitedly showing it to me. He tore off both our shirts and put some of the peppermint lotion in his hand, putting it on my laid out hand too. His slippery hand rubbed my shaft as I did the same, kissing him passionately and aggressive. With his hand clasped around my neck, he pulled me forward, wanting me to stand up. I stood up and turned him around to sit in the chair, me straddling his hips now.
“It’s your turn this time,” he whispered, pushing his hips into mine.
The moment he thought I was ready, his finger touched around my opening as he continued tugging at me. It felt strange as he pushed his finger in slowly, but in a way it had an amazing sensation. Once he eased in all the way, I realized I wanted more. He pulled his finger out and in again with another finger, making me moan even louder. “Mmm, you’re ready,” he said, replacing his fingers with the head of his shaft to me.
As he pushed into me slowly, letting me adjust to his size, I tensed. It felt so right but so wrong. I knew that this was the right choice because I was him now, taking him fully as I did to him. It felt like we were one. I kept my eyes open as he pushed into me all the way, his hands on my lower back to pull me closer. He moaned out together, louder than ever. He went slow, staring into my eyes as I stared back, both in lust. Each time he pushed into me he gained speed with my hips forcing down on him to meet every hard thrust. “Oh shit! Fuck! Mikey… Mikey… You’re so fucking good, baby,” I moaned louder.
There was a sudden rushing orgasm surging through me like electricity as I took Mikey to the hilt, hitting on my sweet spot. I screamed out, shaking over his body as I called his name repeatedly. It continued as he kept hitting that same spot and taking one of his hands off my back to please my outsides. I felt so alive, the perfect amount of medicine I needed. “Keep going, babe, don’t stop,” Mikey panted.
Right then I noticed I was the one pleasing, but it didn’t feel like that at all. Without hesitation, I continued riding him even though I was on top. I loved every moan and groan Mikey made. I finally felt the heat in my lower stomach, warning him, “M-Mikey, I’m so close,” I tried catching my breath as I panted.
His breathing was increased along with mine, “Me too. I’m th-there.”
We breathed wild, thrusting a few more times before I release on his wet chest with a ripping scream. Mikey screamed for the last time as he let off inside me, shaking as he went empty and stayed in that position I never let off of him, just fell forward against him on the chair. My face buried in his neck as his arms constricted back around me, holding me tight. “Fuck… That felt amazing. Did it feel that good for you when I did it?” I breathed heavily, still trying to get back to normal breaths.
“Oh, Gerard, you don’t even know. Best first time I could’ve imagined,” he said, also trying to breathe right again.
“We’ve got to do this more often next time you come down,” I laughed in his ear.
“Yeah, we do.”
“I love you, Mikey,” I whispered to him, kissing the side of his neck.
“I love you too, Gerard.”
I could feel him smile. I knew I’d make him happy. Goal accomplished. But I wondered how long it would last.
He was gone again. I was upset. He probably was too until I got messages from him saying he was depressed. He always told me he wanted to cut himself, but I told him never to. He held that promise too, that he wouldn’t do it because of me. That night he told me I cried. I had never ever wanted him to leave again. I wanted to take him in my arms and cuddle him so he felt protected. I would kiss him until all his cares went away, but he couldn’t leave because they would all come back if he was away from me. He told me over his email that he would come back up for a month after school was out, so I had something to look forward to. It was going to be hard though. Though this brought a smile to my face when he would say things like “We’ll live together” over email. It just shows how much I missed him once again. I knew it killed him too that he couldn’t see me because, 1, he said it, and, 2, he was just having a rough time. He always was getting pissed off from his sister and everything else. I just had to think through a plan to help him even though he was so far away.
School was back in. Bert was in my school now too. I made contact with him before school started, so we’d be somewhat back on the right track. I was petrified of him every time I saw him, heard him, or even called my house phone. Every time the caller ID said his name, I’d let it ring, my parents aside not to pick it up, and everything with a cross was on me. It was crazy. Now wherever we bothered with each other, I would feel so uneasy and empty that Mikey wasn’t right beside me. I was so freaked out that I let my guard down and started talking to him. It was like he forgot about all the stuff he did to me. It’s like it poofed away by magic. “So, you want to come over later?” he started asking me after we were so called friends again.
It was a couple of weeks but I still had not forgotten him fully. “Um, I can’t” I tried thinking of an excuse. “You know how my mom is. She told me I can’t go anywhere when she tells me not to.”
“Well, I’m sure she can make an acception. You know? I really miss you. I haven’t seen you in forever. Plus, my mom and dad always ask about you.”
I thought about this but I knew him to be an asshole to me. My mom and dad didn’t like Bert for all the things he did to me. I had given them updates everyday on how he acted. He was acting better so I’m sure he was right about them accepting. “Fine,” I finally agreed. “But I got to call them ahead of time to let them know.”
“Okay, yay!” He seemed excited.
I was and I wasn’t sure though because I really didn’t trust him. Hopefully, he was good.
School was over now and I called my parents telling them I was going to Bert’s and they said it was alright. When I got there it was the same as always. Like we were one big family for some reason. “Long time no see,” his father said, earning a laugh out of both of us.
He scared the shit out of me when we started walking to his room. All I knew what that I wouldn’t do anything with him because I had perfect Mikey. I stood up as he showed me all the cool new stuff he had. “Sit down,” he said, noticing my nervousness.
I hesitated, but finally sat down on his bed. When he was done, I stared at the alarm clock on the side table until he ran forward and tackled me on the bed, hugging me tight. “I missed you so much. You have no idea.”
He and I sat up, getting off me and we scooted back on his bed to lean against the wall. “I was wrong, I realized it. It was all my cousin’s fault. She messed up everything.” He continued.
It was true too. My mom told me he must have listened to his cousin when he told him I was talking crap about him when I wasn’t. It was such a story. “I shouldn’t have even listened. Were you… um… scared of me for awhile?”
Oh god, another truth time. “Yeah, I was. You petrified me. I couldn’t even look at you because I always cried. You did so much damage to me. And I’m never going to forgive you at all,” I said, staring at him cold.
He stared back, shocked by my attitude now towards him. “You’ve changed, haven’t you?”
“No, I haven’t changed, you have. You went from being best friends with me to no longer best friends, now you’re trying to be friends with me again. Am I supposed to not be nervous? Because I sure as hell think you’ll damage me all over again and make my life a fucking hell. Are you going to do that?”
He stared at me shocked again. He was so surprised at how I stood up for myself for the first time. “No,” he said quietly. “I’m gong to make it right this time.”
I sat there thinking of the words as he spoke. What did he mean by that? Did he want me back or something? Fuck him, I’m with Mikey now! I couldn’t tell him because he’d go around and say things most likely. Plus, it wasn’t some relationship I wanted to screw up. I cared so much for Mikey. “What do you mean? You mean if we’re going to be friends you’re not going to fuck anything up, including my life? You aren’t going to do something stupid? Don’t think that I was in a relationship with you before because we never were.” I didn’t believe him,
“No. I promise this time. You have to trust me. Please?” he begged.
I was hesitant but I knew that even if he did it again I would be stronger this time, all because of Mikey. “Okay,” I finally agreed.
“Really? Cool! You know? I think about that night all the time.” He scooted closer to me.
I sat there, still as a statue, realizing what he was trying to pull. “Oh yeah? Well, what is it?” I turned my head to look him in the eyes. “What does it mean to you?”
I knew exactly what he was thinking when he started leaning his head forward, closing his eyes. He went slow as I stared at him. When he was close enough to me, centimeters away from my lips, I thought of my options. How would I get out of this situation? That was the only thing running through my head. “What are you doing?”
He stopped and opened his eyes, looking at me strange. “I told you. I’ve come back for you and I want to make things right. We could do what we didn’t finish that night and get together.”
“No, Bert. That will never happen.”
Fuck. I just dug myself a hole and I can’t get out and I had to say why. “Because… you’re not mine. You never were. I have other people now. People that care for me. They give me love back as I give them. Unlike you, who got up and left when I though about you that way.”
“Wow! And who are these people?”
I stared at him again, it was like a game. “These people are my best friends I made due to one person I care for the most.”
“Why don’t you tell me their name? Stop being scared of me! It’s not going to happen,” he urged, really wanting to know.
“Mikey,” I said quietly. “But he moved down to North Carolina. It kills me to not see him.”
“You love him?” he asked, suddenly with a smile.
I actually trusted him. “Yes,” I nodded.
“That sucks when you can’t see people you love when they move.” He put his hand over mine, “Were you together?”
“Are, you mean. We ARE still together. It’s the first, and it’s the best. “I though about Mikey more now. “It’s nice.”
“You do know that if you kiss me or bother with me like that he won’t know, right?”
“NO!! Stop saying that because I would never cheat on him.” I started getting angry.
“Well, all I’m saying is that you’re not really together for him to see us… It’s not cheating, besides, it’s our turn.” He squeezed my hand.
I pushed his hand away and gave him a dirty look, “Just because I come over today doesn’t mean I’m going to let you take advantage of me and we’re going to have sex. Get this through your fucking skull! I. Have. A. Boyfriend. And I care for him. It used to be that way for you, but now it’s him because he’s a true and real person. You’re like nothing. I tried letting you go for the longest time, telling myself you didn’t exist and it finally worked. It wasn’t love I had for you, that was when I realized it. We can be friends, but not if you’re this way. And just for the record, I don’t think you know what fucking cheating is on other people. I refuse to do it. It just shows how much of a horrible person you are, and I liked that. Thank the Lord I don’t like you anymore because you’re just a backstabber.”
“Oh, so that’s why you’re calling me a liar? I wouldn’t do that to you?” He interrupted.
“Yep! You are a liar and you would do that to me. For once in my life, I’m happy with this one person and now you’ll come along and try to fuck every little thing up. And you’re not going to do that because I won’t let you. The last thing I’d like to say is… You should go fuck yourself because you’re such an asshole.”
“Really? That’s how you feel? It’s amazing to see you like this. I’ve never seen it, until today. The day is here. Finally sticking up for yourself against me. It’s cool to see on the outside. One thing, I do know what cheating is, two, I got nothing else.” He was still sitting, shocked.
I smiled to myself, proud of everything I said. I even protected Mikey in the entire conversation. “I think I should go, Bert.”
“No, no, stay. I won’t try and do anything funny, we’ll chat. Oh, that’s the third thing, if something happens between you two, you must know me. I’ll be there, waiting for you.”
“Believe me, it’s gonna last. For a long time. But, I guess, thanks.”
Whatever. He seemed touchy for the whole time U was with him, but I wasn’t thinking about him, just Mikey. Amazing Mikey. He would be proud too if he saw me and heard everything I said. I couldn’t wait to get home and type up to him what happened. Once again, God was telling me something. He was trying to show me that this was right. That me and him are supposed to be together because first, I had to be there to help Mikey and make him happy, and now, I’m facing my fears, in spite of love. I truly was in love with him. I faced my fears; there was only one more fear. It was telling my mom, not so much my dad because he didn’t care about anything. I wanted to tell them, I told my sister. But it was different because I felt my mom was against it, but I wasn’t sure. She never said she was; it was my opinion. My sister had taken it good, she didn’t mind.
When my mom came to pick me up she asked me first thing, “How’d it go?”
Whoops, it’s time. Whenever we drove home together we’d always go into depth on things. “Mom, can I tell you something that I can trust your support on?” I thought if it sounded scary or not so I rephrased. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”
“Yeah, of course you can. You can tell me anything.” He sounded like Mikey.
That was one of the good things about my mom. She understood and always listened. She always had trust in me and we’d always talk. “Ummm, I’m not sure how to say it… “I hesitated but braved it out after what happened back at Bert’s house, “….. Mikey’s my boyfriend.”
She didn’t say a thing for a minute, “I’m fine with that.”
“Please don’t go tell him though,” meaning my father.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“You’re really okay with that? That I like Mikey?” I wondered how okay she was with that.
Those were the words that made me weightless. It felt good. It was time for me to go tell Mikey now. God, I fucking loved him!