Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.4 Reviews
“No, me angry? Where on Earth did you get that idea from?”
Today though, everything was back to its dreary old, terrible normal self. Gerard is pacing back and forth from the compact, tidy kitchen and hallway, biting anxiously on his lower lip, even drawing blood at one point. His perfect in every single fucking way replacement wife, Tierney, was sitting at the table, having just cooked Hollie breakfast. (I had declined her totally un-genuine kindly offer)
“Okay Bandit,” The obnoxious red haired thirty something narrows red rimmed, tired looking hazel eyes at me, “Lets here it, let’s hear how your last chance was ruined before you even gave it a decent chance.”
I stay silent and continue digging through my coffin shaped, personalised bag for my tiny little black and pink skull compact mirror.
“Do you know how difficult it will be for me to persuade the school into taking you back after you little get away yesterday?”
This time I honour the bastard with a shrug, triumphantly pulling out my favourite (And only unbroken) compact mirror and opening it, the small bejewelled skull glaring up at me.
“Don`t worry about getting them to take me back,” I tell him calmly, checking my hastily done makeup in the glass, unable to keep the frown from my face and voice as I see my pitiful reflection glaring back at me with empty, joyless eyes.
“Because there is no way I am going back there.” I snap the compact shut with a loud, irritating click and shove it back in the bag, not bothering to sip it up fully.
“No fucking way.” I smile sweetly; ignoring the horrified looks my colourful choice of words earns me from my loving father.
“Oh yes you are going back young lady!” He snaps at me in an angry, raised voice. “Do you even have any idea how worried me and Tierney were when the school told us you hadn`t returned after lunch?”
I scoff. “Worried?” I question, voice heavily laced with toxic sarcasm. “Over the fucking moon more like.”
“Why didn`t you phone us, at least let us know you were alright and not hog tied in the back of some sicko`s van!?”
I shrug again and absently chip of a flake of darkly coloured nail polish, midnight violet I think it was called. Something ridiculously cliché like that anyway.
“We have to talk about this Bandit, surely you realise that? I refuse to just sit around ignoring things, letting you get away with murder like your poor mother does.”
My heavily made up eyes narrow angrily into thin slits of pure hatred. “She doesn`t ignore things though, does she?” I raise one arched, plucked eyebrow. “If she did I wouldn`t be in this shithole with you.” I spit the last word out bitterly, pronouncing it as though it contained a horrid, eye watering stench.
Gerard slumps back against the kitchen sink that was now overflowing with today’s breakfast bowls and cutlery.
“You mother has tried her best by you, Bandit, but the truth is that she is at the end of her rope. Things were incredible tough for her after we split, and I expect that she let you have your own way too much, anything for a quiet life. But Bandit, you can`t keep acting like this, otherwise soon you bad, bitter, cynical attitude is going to end up ruining your life.”
I laugh loudly once, a joyless, humourless, bitter and incredibly twisted screeching noise that resembled a dying cat. “My life is ruined, can`t you see that?” I mumble brokenly, not expecting anyone to even listen to my pathetic little, insignificant voice. “You saw to that when you walked out on me.” I spit and storm from the room and run upstairs, slamming my bedroom door shut behind me.
“Bandit, Bee?” I glare and throw a pillow at the door. How dare he follow me?
“Go away!” I scream and hurl another one, but he ignores my warning and the door is pushed open.
“Get out! I hate you, I fucking hate you!”
“Bandit, look your mother and I got divorced, lots of people do,” The red haired man begins tiredly, making sure to stay out of hitting range by the door. “We weren`t right for each other, in the long run it was for the best, neither of us were happy.” he tries to explain but I cut him off.
“I was happy though,” I whisper. “It wasn`t for the best, not for me. Do you know how hard it was having my dad walk out on me, leaving my mum weeping her eyes out day and night? You ruined what happiness and hope I had; you just tore it all up and broke it.” I scream, and hurl yet another pillow at his head, but he catches it, only adding to my ever growing anger.
“You left me, you wanted nothing to do with me so don`t you dare try to explain to me that it was for the best or whatever other shit you are about to spew out. You have no right to tell me what to do, how I should and shouldn`t act.” I spit on the floor near his boot clad feet. “Do you fucking hear me Gerard Way?! You have no fucking right!”
He winces at my harsh words but quickly hides it. “I am sorry you feel that way, Bandit, but I just want you to know that I love you, that I always did and that I only want to do what is best for you.”
“Oh yeah? Well get the fuck out of here! Go curl up under a rock and die!”
He sighs and clutches his head. “I know that you are angry Bandit-“
“No, me angry? Where on Earth did you get that idea from?” I mutter under my breath sarcastically.
He carries on like I had never opened my mouth. “I know that you blame me, and I know that I could’ve done things better, but I want to try to make it up to you.” He sighs again. “But you must know that the way you are acting is wrong, Bandit, you were raised better than this.”
“Like you would know. You weren’t there.” I meant for the words to come out sounding all threatening and pissed off but instead my voice trembles betraying me.
Just then the perfect blonde, Barbie doll of a wife turns up at the door. But at least she had the decency to knock once before barging right in. I didn`t see the point in telling her to fuck off, nobody ever listened to what I wanted anyway.
“Gee, maybe I should have a word with Bandit while you take Hozzie to school.”
I glare up at her. I had a few choice words I would like to say to the man stealing bitch.
“The holidays are next week, maybe it would be best to try to persuade them to let Befit go back next semester, after she has had a chance to settle in.”
I can see that he is about to argue, but the stern look on Tierney’s unfairly pretty face changes his mind and he goes, leaving me alone in the room with the only person in the world I hated nearly as much as him.