Brendon tells his POV about the break-up and the 'new' Panic!
"Brendon",Ryan whispers to me through the curtain. Once again, I ignore Ryan because I don't feel like getting into another argument at the moment. I wish I can have just ONE simple conversation with my so called 'best friend'. Sure, we had great times but there is always an end to a band AND a friendship."BRENDON!",Ryan yells this time, waking Jon and Spencer up. "What the fuck do you want!", I say giving a 'look' to Ryan. Spencer and Jon just make a pissed off moan and go back to sleep."Look Ryan, I'm not in the mood right now to talk. You missed your chance at us and thats it. I'm done waiting". Ryan is obviously hurt by my rather harsh comment. "Fine Brendon,I guess I'll leave you alone from now on." Those words really smacked me in the face. FROM NOW ON. I couldn't fall asleep again because Ryan's words made me feel worse about myself. Well, atleast he didn't say forever right?
That morning I woke up late to find everyone gone out of the bus. I check my iPhone to see the time. 12:00 pm. Damn, it's almost time for sound check. I hurry up and change into my clothes. As I walk in the venue, I see that the rest of the band wasn't there. What the hell? I feel a vibrating sensation in my pocket, which happened to be a text from Spencer. Spencer Smith: Hey! We are all meeting at the bar down the street, soundcheck won't be till later... Um ok. I really didn't want to go. AT ALL. I sat next to Ryan as usual.We all had beers, and talked about the setlist tonight. Of course, there was an argument over that. "We all agreed on We're So Starving as opening song, why are we arguing" Jon says "God! I just don't get you guys anymore". "Well Jon", I snap back being an asshole, "It's not always about you and what YOU want!". "Look guys, I think we should just start with what we decided before", Spencer says."UGH! FINE", Ryan and Jon say in unison. Ryan and Jon violently push in their bar stools and walk out of the bar, probably heading back to the bus. I was just sitting there in silence, looking down and clutching my beer. "Look Bren, I think it's time to call it off. Ryan and Jon obviously have different views. Right?", Spencer says placing his hand on my shoulder. I wan't to call it off but then I'll loose Ryan even more than I already have. "I guess so Spence...".
The last show of the tour is tomorrow. THANK GOD. But at the same time.....I'll be loosing my best friend, which I'm not looking forward to at all.But, I guess things have changed for us, and that's ok.