Frank finds somthing out he wish he never knew when he goes to public school for the first time in his life. How will he react and how can Gerard help him this time? Please R&R if you can :)
I walked down the corridor shakily behind the school’s secretary. The corridors were practically empty which was good, but I could hear the sound of noisy teenagers and teachers losing their tempers echoing though out the building.
The secretary pushed a wooden door open with a silver plaque that said “room 23”. The room I found myself standing in was open and bright. There was a cool breeze drifting in through the windows and there room smelt strongly of paint.
“Frank, this is Mrs McGuiness, your art teacher.” The secretary smiled. An elderly lady turned round and smiled sweetly at me. I didn’t smile back though; I just looked down at my feet awkwardly.
“I’ve been expecting you!” she laughed. I looked behind me at the class behind me. The majority of them were getting on with their work but about 5 or 6 of them were staring wide-eyed at me. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet and continued to stare at the floor. “This class is almost over, but you can help me set up for the next lesson.” Mrs McGuiness smiled.
The secretary left and my new art teacher handed me a pot of pencils and a sharpener.
“So, what made you leave your old school?” she asked casually as I began to sharpen one of the pencils into the large bin by her desk.
“I didn’t go to school before.” I said quickly.
“How comes?” she asked.
Before I could reply I was interrupted by a girl I vaguely recognized.
“Hey! You’re that guy that attacked Gerard the last week, right?” she smiled. Her bright pink hair flowed right down her back and it kept hitting me as she spoke excitedly, which pissed me off more and more each time.
“Uh, yeah.” I said quietly looking away from her face. She was the girl that had been all over Gerard when I hit him.
“Miss, you know Gerard right? Gerard Way? Yeah, well Frank punched him in the face last week!” she laughed excitedly. I could already tell I wouldn’t like this girl. She was too giggly and loud. Mrs McGuiness looked from her to me before looking back to her in disbelief.
“It’s true!” she giggled. “Frank, does Gerard know you’re here?” she asked.
“No.” I replied bluntly. I wanted this girl to disappear- she was so irritating and I could tell that if she didn’t leave soon I would flip out.
“Oh wow, he is going to be so excited when he sees you! He never shuts up about you, you know. He really likes you. You are like a brother to him.” she laughed.
I nodded in reply. I felt a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach when she mentioned Gerard talking about me. I picked up another pencil and began to sharpen it quickly and nervously.
“Emily, why don’t you go and carry on with your work and you can show Frank to his next class.” Mrs McGuiness said obviously noticing how uncomfortable I felt.
“Okay! See you later Frank!” she smiled. I attempted to smile back but she giggled again so I rolled by eyes.
“She is a nice girl, I promise.” Mrs McGuiness laughed.
Turned out Emily is in most of my classes which didn’t please me but at least I had someone to show me where I was going. It was now lunch time, we were let out 10 minutes early from English, and I was sitting outside on the field with Emily waiting for ‘the others’ to arrive, or whoever ‘the others’ were.
Emily was chatting to me about some teacher I would ‘love’ when the two large boys that had held me down at Gerard’s house the other day arrived.
“What is he doing here?” the larger blond one sneered. I looked up and he backed off jokingly. “Whoa, watch out! He might attack us!” he laughed the tall one with the fro laughed too. I turned to Emily who looked shocked at the unfunny joke.
“Bob! That is horrible.” She said standing up. She pushed them to the side and hissed something at them which I couldn’t quite hear. Emily sat back down next to me and the two boys sat down next to her. “Sorry about that, Frank.” she whispered into my ear.
Suddenly she jumped to her feet and ran across to the dark figure that was walking over towards us. I watched as she kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand from his side before pulling him towards us. It was Gerard.
“Frank! What are you doing here?” he said blushing slightly. I noticed he was still holding Emily’s hand. I looked up at him in disbelief, my insides hurt seeing him with this girl. My heart was breaking.
“I’m going home.” I hissed. I stood up and marched off back in the direction of the school. I couldn’t stand seeing him with this girl, it wasn’t right. He never even told me which hurt even more.
“Frank, wait!” he yelled after me. I looked back and saw he was running after me. I began to run as fast as I could and as far away from him as possible. My eyes grew hotter as I ran across the field dodging groups of people sitting around eating lunch.
I found myself panting and out of breath behind the school’s car park round the back of the school building. I felt sick inside, how could Gerard do this to me? How could he love her?
“Frank…w-wait.” Gerard shouted as he appeared from a different direction I had come.
“How could you do this, Gerard?” I asked in disbelief. I felt the burning tears drip from my chin onto the floor. “How could you love her?”
“She’s a really nice girl. I know…I know I should’ve told you but I just didn’t know how.” Gerard panted.
“That’s not the point!” I yelled. I could feel my head gradually growing hotter and hotter with anger. “You can’t love her.” I cried. I sat down on the rusty metal steps that lead up to the roof of the school. “You can’t love her because I love you.” I admitted. I felt the lump in my throat and the fits of tears rise up inside me.
“I love you too. You are my brother.” He smiled sitting next to me.
“But, I love you as more than a brother.” I sniffed.
I was confused. How did Frank love me? I didn’t know what to do, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hope that Frank hadn’t just said that, because I didn’t feel the same way and I didn’t want to break his heart anymore. I couldn’t quite understand what was happening. For some reason it didn’t feel real.
“Come here.” I said putting my around his shoulders pulling him into me. “I do love you, but as a brother. You are my best friend Frankie. I will always love you more than I love anyone else in the world, but Emily is my girlfriend and you have to understand that.” I said leaning my head on his.
“I sound so pathetic, don’t I?” He whispered.
“No you don’t, it’s just shock.” I said quietly. I pushed his hair from his face and kissed his cheek. He breathed heavily and I felt his whole body weight on me.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he lay in my lap looking up at me.
“Don’t be.” I whispered back.
“Maybe coming to school was a bad idea after all.”
I was about to reply when I saw a bright pink silhouette appear out the corner of my eye. I turned to her, and noticed her eyeliner was smudged and her tears had left streaks in her pale foundation.
“I’m going to go to the nurse, I feel ill and I want to go home.” Frank said lifting his head from my lap. Emily was gone from the door way when I looked to see if she was still there.
“Ok, I will come straight to you as soon as I get home. I promise I will this time.” I said standing up. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders before he pulled away and walked off in the direction of the nurse’s office.
I sat back down on the step once he was gone and Emily appeared again. She gracefully sat down next to me and placed her hand gently over mine.
“It’s not his fault he acts like that.” I mumbled.
“It’s not your fault either, okay? Come on, the bell for next lesson is gonna go in a minute.” Emily smiled.
“I think I’m gonna go home too. I don’t trust him on his own, he has tried to kill himself in the past and I’m not gonna let that happen again.” I said standing up. I began to walk off in the direction of the school gates.
“Aren’t you gonna try and get sent home? You’ll get caught!” Emily called from behind me.
I ignored her and began to run.
Finally I was out of the gates and I hadn’t been caught. I could run home in under 5 minutes from here, I knew a route through the woods which Emily had shown me. My feet began to pound the ground beneath me and I found myself running faster than I thought was possible for me. Soon enough, I found myself at the broken fence to Frank’s back garden. I jumped over the broken wood and sprinted across the lawn which hadn’t been cut in at least 4 months. The long grass whipped at my ankles as I ran.
The back door was already open when I got there. I pushed it open and stepped inside. I tip toed into the hall way. I could see Frank’s father sitting in the study on the phone to someone. I hurried past and up the stairs as fast as I could.
I pushed Frank’s bedroom door open. It took me a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
“Frank? Are you okay?” I whispered. There was no reply. I felt around on the wall for a light switch which I clicked on. There were clothes, books and CDs scattered across the floor which was strange because Frank’s room was nearly always spotless.
Maybe he was in the bathroom again.
I crossed the hallway but the bathroom was empty and the light was off. My heart began to beat a little bit faster. Were had he gone? I walked quickly into his room and sat down on his bed. That was when I noticed his guitar was gone. I knelt down on the floor and began to rummage through the stuff on the floor. I don’t know what I was looking for but I knew I couldn’t stop looking. I tossed shirts and jeans to one side and books to the other. There was nothing. I lay down on his bed and sighed. The scent of his bed covers reminded me of him and the many times I had hugged him as tight as I possibly could.
I rolled over, there was a crackling sound under my head. I sat up and threw the pillow to the floor. Under his pillow were sheets of paper covered in his hand writing. I picked up the one on the top of the pile and began to read:
Gerard, you probably hate me now.
Most the letters were one line long and crossed out. I picked up another:
I am stupid for not doing this ages go. I’m sorry Gerard.
My eyes grew hot with tears. These letters didn’t mean anything, did they? They didn’t explain anything, did they?
“I am stupid for not doing this ages go. I’m sorry Gerard.”
What was that supposed to mean? What hadn’t he done? What was he so sorry for?
My guts twisted inside my stomach. I didn’t even know if he was alive right now
I picked up another; this one was a lot longer and was obviously written in a rush as there were heaps of spelling mistakes:
To Gerard, I don’t know what to do aniemoore. I can’t stay here now that you know that I love you. I don’t want you to think of me any diffare because you are my faverit person in the whole world and I think of you every day, but I know there is no point staying in Belleville now. I should have done this strate after mom died because I knew this would happen.
Tony told me that I should do what feels right and I know that I don’t want to stay here with my dad who doesn’t even love me, living in a house without mom doesn’t feel right. Please tell Tony I am sorry as well.
I’m sorry Gerard you, but you will never see me again.
P.S if you cared about me or at least liked me, you woodent come looking for me.
P.P.S it’s not your fault.
I folded the paper up and held in in my hand for a minute. I grabbed his pillow from the floor and buried my face in it, letting it soak up the tears. I had made Frank run away from home. And who was the Tony guy that had given him the idea to run away?! His scent in the pillow made me miss him. I had only seen him about half an hour ago but I still missed him so much it hurt.
“I’m so sorry Frank.” I cried. I grabbed the rest of the pile and flicked through the pages. Each was another failed attempt at a goodbye letter to me. None to his dad, all to me.
“I didn’t realise how much I meant to you.” I muttered under my breath. My tear drops dripped from my face onto the paper in my hand.
“I’m such an idiot.” I yelled. I kicked a book, which was the closest object to me, into the wall.
“Frankie I thought you had gone to visit To- Gerard?!” Frank’s father exclaimed. I turned around to see him in the door way tall and intimidating.
“Where is Frank?” I asked through my sobs.
“He has gone to visit Tony in the record store, why?”
“No reason, I just knew he felt ill so I came to visit him.” I lied.
“Why are you crying?”
“Hay fever.” I snapped.
“Ah… right… okay then.” He said turning around.
“Where is the record store?” I asked quickly before he disappeared out the room.
“On the high-street. It is called something like ‘Tony’s Records’.”
“Can you give me a lift?” I asked shyly.
“Sure.” He said exiting the room awkwardly.
I grabbed the pile of paper and shoved it in my back pocket. I met Frank’s father in the car and he drove me directly to the high street without a word. I was hoping that Frank would still be there, that he hadn’t left Belleville yet and that I could convince him to stay. I didn’t want to let him leave. I couldn’t let him leave. There was something about Frank that made me feel over protective about him. I needed to look after him; hug him and tell him how much he meant to me.
The car pulled up outside the old looking record shop.
“Thank you.” I said to Frank’s dad before jumping out of the car. I waited for him to drive off before heading over to the shop door. I took a deep breath before stepping inside…