This is taking the whole 'forbidden romance' thing up a step. (Incest)
"Kassidy, please open your door!" I called, as my legs began to fall asleep. I'd been sitting outside of her bedroom door for the past hour, waiting for her to talk to me. Something was bothering her but I wasn't entirely sure what that something was. We met after our last class and I immediately realized she was being unusually quiet, no smile gracing her perfect lips.
Since Kassidy and I were a year apart we didn't share too many classes but I'd seen her in 5th period, right after lunch. She was fine then! What could have happened within a few hours to create such a dramatic change? More importantly; Why wouldn't she talk to me about it? We talked about everything.
"Just- just go away Ryan." Kassidy called out, her voice breaking.
"Not gonna happen." I replied, concerned.
The door knob turned and Kassidy peaked her head out. Much to my dismay I noticed that her mascara was smeared; A clear sign that she'd been crying. "Why can't you just let things go?" Kassidy finally asked after staring at me for several seconds.
"Because I care?" I formed it as a question but we both knew it was a statement and the truth behind it was overwhelming. I cared about Kassidy in a way I'd never cared for another. Sometimes my feelings for her were so overpowering that just looking at her hurt because I knew, no matter what, I would never have her in the way that I secretly desired.
"You look uncomfortable." Kassidy responded, wiping some smeared mascara from around her right eye. It made her appear to be part human/part racoon but like every other look Kassidy wore... She easily pulled it off, looking stunning.
"My legs fell asleep about five minutes ago." I admitted, grimacing as I moved just a little.
"Damn it Ryan." Kassidy's eyes narrowed but the smile she attempted to hold back crept on to her face quickly, "You didn't have to sit outside waiting for me!" Suddenly she began tugging on my arm, in an attempt to get me to stand.
"I don't particularly feel like playing tug of war with my own arm." I said, watching her struggle in amusement. "Were you in your room pouting because you have the secret desire to own a dog?"
Kassidy began laughing. The thing with her was once she started laughing she had a lot of trouble stopping the laughter. Her button nose wrinkled up and her eyes softened as the happiness seeped through her body. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my eighteen years of existence.
With a tug I caught Kassidy off guard, causing her to lose her balance. She tumbled in to my lap with surprising force and I reached out, steadying her... while holding her at the same time.
I just couldn't help myself. Sometimes the sick urges that hid deep inside of me found their way out and... No, I couldn't do it. Her full pink lips were inches from mine and my own lips were trembling with a desire I hope she'd never find out about. I reached forward, changing direction at the last minute. Internally I sighed in relief as my lips landed upon her unsuspecting cheek.
Kassidy paused and for the first time in a long time I couldn't read whatever was going on behind her eyes. She was the most transparent person I knew when it came to emotions but... this was different. This time she was guarded, but why?
Most people would find nothing wrong with the way I felt... They wouldn't understand why I avoided her lips when they were so easily accessible. They wouldn't understand why I hid my feelings from her, or the rest of the world. From just looking at the two of us most people wouldn't know that we were siblings though. She had bright red hair, with piercing green eyes. She stood out in our family... I'd been asked so many times if she was my girlfriend and a million times I'd wished I could say yes. My misfortune laid in the truth of our relation, despite not truly being related. She was adopted, hence the obvious physical differences. She'd always been my sister though, as far as I was concerned. My parents adopted her at ten weeks. I couldn't remember a time when she wasn't a part of our family, a part of my life.
I didn't even know she was adopted at first. I just figured we looked different. Plenty of siblings looked different. It was my own reason for hating myself. The feelings started on my 12th birthday. Kassidy was already 11 and she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She was smarter than the other girls, more daring, outspoken... She understood me and I understood her. When Kassidy turned 14 my parents decided to tell her... She was adopted.
Kassidy took it pretty hard, though I never understood why. It didn't make her any less of a family member and my parents made that clear.
That year was hard. She was all I could think about. I even justified my feelings with her adoption at times but in the end I knew... It would never be right. Something inside of me wanted her... Something inside of me was so terrifyingly sick. In the end we couldn't choose the way we felt though. There was no switch that I was able to flip off. If there was I'd of flipped it and never looked back. It wasn't easy disgusting yourself.
"Kyle was cheating." Kassidy finally said, having been staring blankly behind me at the wall.
My grip on her tightened and quickly turned in to a hug. She'd been dating Kyle for an entire year. A year was a long time when you were in high school. I hated Kyle. I hated that he was able to kiss her perfect lips. I wondered frequently if he was able to do anything else with my dear sister. The idea horrified me but... Kassidy never said a thing.
I said nothing, knowing that Kassidy wouldn't want pity filled words.
"I knew it was going to happen. It's always going to happen." Kassidy said, the look on her face telling me that she was fighting the urge to cry more.
"Why would you think that?" My legs were starting to tingle. "Not every guy is a douchebag Kass."
Kassidy looked away, as if embarrassed.
"What happened?" I quickly asked, worry coursing through my veins. "You've never hidden anything from me before, that I know of... So don't start now."
I could now clearly see that Kassidy was blushing. "He wanted to have sex." I could feel my heart begin to pick up it's pace. "I'm not ready Ryan." Oh, thank fucking god. "I'm not going to be ready for awhile and well, that's what guys want. That's what Kyle wanted... I didn't want that so he found someone who did."
"Do you know how long Brendon and Marie have been together?" I asked, referring to our mutual friend Brendon Urie.
"Yeah, three years..."
"They have yet to have sex." Which was suprising since it was freaking Brendon. "So, not every guy is like that... not every relationship is like that. I'm so fucking proud of you though." I just had to let her know. She didn't want to have sex and she stuck to her decision. That's something not every girl in our school could say, unfortunately. "Don't let teenage boys get to you. Sex is highly overrated and once they get it, the fun stops."
"I- I'm going to put some pajamas on." Kassidy suddenly and awkwardly blurted, getting off of me quickly.
The door to her bedroom was left open as she disappeared and I found myself climbing to my feet, barely allowing the feeling to return to my legs before I was thrusting myself in to her bedroom. Yes, I remain completely open about the fact that I am sick and a teenager, which basically means double sick.
Kassidy's back was to me but I still got a stellar view. Her black bra strap was pressing against her creamy white skin, forcing a million thoughts through my head. Then she began sliding her jeans down, revealing a pair of lacy black panties. At this point... I forced myself to look away. These thoughts weren't getting me anywhere.
"Ry?" Kassidy's sweet voice broke through my thoughts of self control.
"Yeah?" Did my voice sound normal? I couldn't fucking tell.
"... Wanna order pizza or something? I don't really feel like having a normal dinner. I just want to pig out and feel my stomach expand as I sit on the couch, or bed and watch stupid horror movies that are only going to make me laugh."
How could I turn that down? "Pepperoni?" Why did I even ask? I knew everything about Kassidy. Everyfuckingthing.
"Always." Kassidy replied.
"I'll be downstairs ordering it." I bolted from her room, more than happy to get out of such a tempting situation.
Since our parents were out of town yet again... The dinner choice was up to us. Unfortunately their business trips seemed to be lasting longer and longer; Could I?