The aftermath of the accident.
I run. Run as though i'm trying to escape all over again, knowing there's no way out this time. I near the scene and call his name again, hoping to God he'll just respond. Just lt me know he's okay, that he's breathing but there's nothing, just dead silence apart from the cold night air, the aura of loss piercing my eardrums and hurting my head. The blue logo of the van has disappeared and it's all a blur.
The train driver, his faint voice calling emergency services, the fact i can't see if Gerard's breathing anymore. I can't pull him from the wreckage, he's still in the Van. The crumpled, broken mess. Shards of glass lie on his favourite leather jacket as his eyes stay closed, the crimson blood still covers his pale white skin, and it's running. Running like the tears from my eyes, poisoning and continuous.
Suddenly, blue lights are lighting up the scene from the distance, paramedics are pulling me away as i kick and scream at them to let me go, a police officer handcuffs me as a needle is pushed through my numb skin and everything fades to black. A blur of noise and images washing over me and burning every being of my body. the last thing i see, Gerards blood covered face as they haul his lifelessness onto a stretcher and cart him away.
I slowly blink away the powerful drowsiness i had fallen victim too. One thing occupying my selfish twisted mind right away. Gerard. Where was he? Was he still breathing? I sit up and immediately run into the hallway screaming for assistance, ignoring the searing pain across my skull. "Gerard, Gerard Way, where is he? I have to see him, now!" I wail to a tall doctor who looks at me closely. "You're Mr Iero i see. You need to go to the waiting area a nurse will be waiting for you there,and Mr Way is not available for visitors right now." He says calmly.
"No, i have to see him! Now!" I scream as the doctor fights to restrain me. "If you continue to lash out we will have to escort you from the premises or sedate you again, now PLEASE go and wait, we will tell you more when we know more." And with that he walks away, leaving me to wallow in my own self hatrid and pity.
I walk to the waiting area feeling helpless, guilt heavy in my head and chest as i turn the corner and am met by a nurse. " Mr Iero, i'd strongly recommend you call someone to accompany you, these hours are crucial for Mr Ways condition." She says softly as i continue to cry pathetic shameful tears, writing down Dayle's number before she rushes off to call him and explain our "situation". This isn't a situation though, it's a pure mess, a mess i created, a mess that i will never forgive myself for, regardless of where and how my Gerard ends up.