That question just makes my heart fall even further into the black hole of society. Why would you care? Okay, you might hear it from an eight year girl who's friend just insulted their doll or when a slutty nineteen year old is accused of making out with their best friends boyfriend. But when it comes from a kid who have been bullied to the last and even abused by their parents, it just makes you want to scream. Scream as loud as he does when he's trying to stop the bullies, as loud when Gerard is trying to break up the fight between their parents. It's just not fair on him. He tries hard. He puts up with more than anyone should be able to. Why would people make something so beautifully innocent suffer? But he's not something. He's Mikey Way and right now he is locked in his room while Gerard and I read comics in his room.
We can hear him sniffling from here. I just wish he would let us help. I can't bear to listen to him cry his lost and broken eyes out.
Suddenly, Gerard stood up and almost reading my mind said "We need to go into him".
"I know. But he won't open his door. Why would he? I wouldn't even open the door if I was in his position... We can't force him to do anything."
"But Frank, he's been doing it since he was like 10 years old. He would lock himself in their and just cry himself to sleep. I've been letting him just lock himself from the real world but he needs to come out of there or else we go in. He just needs a break, a change. Like having you around will help because it will show him that not just me really cares.You do too." He says.
"I guess you're right. We should try at least." I sigh, knowing the difficult task before us.
"There's also one more thing that bothers him... Mikey is bi-polar. He could be in a semi-gloomy mood, then just snaps and becomes more violent, trashing around the place or else he could just not communicate at all. He would just lie there like he doesn't exist. This really effects him because not only does it put him into these moods but it just makes him feel like there is one more thing wrong with him. But it's not his fault." Gerard says in a low tone explaining the consequences of what one sentence said to him could do to him.
I couldn't reply. I didn't know what to say. So I just nodded and stood up with him. We walked into the hall and stood outside Mikey's door, listening to the whimpers coming from the boy the other side of the door. Gerard knocked on the door.
"Hey Mikes. Can I come in?" He asked gently almost pleadingly, even.
Hearing a grunt and some shuffling around, we took it positively. The lock clicked and then we heard more shuffling. Gerard opened the door wincing at seeing Mikey's skinny form curled up on the cold floor against the wall while wiping tears from his face. The next thing that I saw came to a shock. Although seeing the can in the bathroom and Gerard speaking about it all, when I looked at the ground beside him, I saw a bottle of some alcohol I couldn't make out because it was covered in blood from his blade held tightly in his bleeding hands and wrists. He was shaking, not violently but just like a long shudder. His eyes were closed and his head was lolled back against the wall. I thought I was going to faint myself, at the sight of him. Gerard ran to get the first aid box in his room and I walked over to sit next to him. He didn't make any eye contact. He just held onto his wrists.
I took the freezing, skinny wrists in my hand and I attempted to stop the bleeding until I felt him pulling away. Gerard scurried into the room with some bandages and disinfectant. There was no conversation. Everything was just sort of calm and still. It was strange. Sort of like as if this had happened so many times before no one needed today anything. Gerard just whispered little hushes and said "It will be okay." None of us think that. Only I know it will be. Gerard an Mikey don't even see a point in everything when life has sealed enough shit already.
I just held onto his hands as Gerard wrapped the bandages around his bloody wrists.
What was worse then all of this, was that Mikey let us into the room knowing that we were going to see it. He Just doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care if he dies or lives or just bleeds out on his bedroom. It just makes me feel like shit to be right beside him and not know what to do for him.
Then, I hear yelling from downstairs, someone calling Gerard who is rushing out the door without a word looking as worried as Hell.
I snuggle up to Mikey more who doesn't accept my embrace at first and he just shuffles over a bit knocking over the bottle making him flinch from the clank of the bottle agains the floor. He begins to cry silently and so I wrap my arms around his shoulders. After a few struggles to escape he gives in and relaxes a bit more.
"Mikey, it's okay. You can trust me. Please just relax." I try to assure him. "I don't want you to be sad. You face is too pretty for that." I blushed. I didn't mean to say it. I did mean it but I shouldn't have said it probably.
"Pretty" He whispers dangerously, chuckling a bit. "Fucking pretty I'm sure" He smirked. I regret saying it as I see his bloody lips return to his usual poker face. "Fucking mess with my head and Gerard will beat the shit out of you. I've seen him do it." He threatens with a disgusted looking face on him.
He's seen Gerard beat up someone. No wonder he used to not open the door for him. He probably barely trusted his brother.
"Mikey, I wasn't messing. I was telling the truth." I try to explain. This scares me. Gerard was right about the bi polar. Mikey was just crying into my shoulder and then he threatens me.
"Shut up Frank. Some people try to make me happy but they just give up. So why are you bothering? I'm not worth it." He finishes with smirk as if he remembers being told, staring intensely at the ground, pulled out of my comforting hands.
"Mikey please. Can't you see that you are worth everything to Gerard and I'm your friend. We want to help and we are going to help if you want it or not." I say a little too forcefully than I should have.
"Just fucking stop!" He says loudly. I took it too far. I basically told him he needs help. I'm an idiot. I look at his panicked face. His eyes frantically around the room.
Gerard then came in looking quite distraught. He wasn't hurt or anything and I didn't hear any shouting so something had happened
"Please just go." Mikey said desperately. "Don't even try to help because I don't want it." Gerard looked a bit taken aback. I started walking to the door as Mikey shouted "GO!".
"Mikey I need to te-" Gerard was cut across.
"Please just leave me alone for fucks sake!" He said exasperatedly.
We exited the room. It was my fault Mikey snapped. I really shouldn't have said anything. Gerard needed to tell Mikey whatever happened. I'm just a complete ass hole!
I hope you liked this. I don't think it's written well. And not much happens until near the end. So please please please rate and review to tell how to do better. Thanks for reading!