I only have a few hours left.
I have been sick for a long time now, I can barely remember when it first started, but I've been living in this hospital for almost a year now. Nothing ever changes around here, I mean people come and go but that is normal for a hospital. The only difference between today and yesterday is that since this morning, I've been dying.
As I shuffle down to the patient center I see the same people doing the same thing as every other day, only today I see them with a new light. No, not a metaphorical 'I've had an epiphany' light a literal red-orange haze that has taken over my vision, because, apparently, I'm going to Hell. I thought it was just a dream, something told me I was dying, that I had made bad decisions in my life and was doomed to eternity in Hell, yada yada, said I had to do tasks and that I only had so much time. I was never religious, so I didn't believe it until I actually saw it, and still I think I'm probably just crazy. Now see the regular patients as what they really are, a gang leader pushes a boulder up a hill only to have it fall back down again before he reaches the top, a corupt stock brokerhas serpent slithering around and nipping at his feet while he is forced to watch the lives of the people he has ruined, and a drug dealer forced to carry a boulder upon his shoulders to where ever he wanders. And myself? Forced to pull the chains from Heaven's Gate and wrap them around my ankles and spirit. Very underworld-ish.
For most of the day I sat doing my duties, and seeing how the others watched with what lookd like a mix of curiosity and abhorrence. I don't know what I did to get in here, it couldn't have been that bad, I'm only a kid, and I wan't given that much time. Either way I'm sure I deserve it. My time is slowly counting down, it like I have a clock in my head, I never have to count myself I just know, and right now I only have a few hours left.
By the time I finished my hellish work, or whatever you want to call it, I had about an hour left and by this times my friends had shown up. Actually they had gotten here a few hours ago, but I continued to sit and do whatever it was I was doing. Now that I was done my sight had cleared and as my friends approched I could see the others, the gang leader was really only pushng his wheelchair up and down a ramp over and over again. The broker was staring blankly at the TV screen and it looked as if his Syphilis has moved to secondary level as his was scratching the soles of his feet, and the dealer was having another mental breakdown, he was being dragged out by three nurses as he screamed about the burden on his shoulders. The same thing that happens everyday.
Spencer was the first to greet me, he always was. I've known him since I was a kid and he has been my rock through out my entire stay here. Then came Jon, his scruffy beard and sarcastic attitude always cheered me up, he gave a smile as he came in. I guess this whole dying thing wouldn't be that bad. Spencer and Jon would understand and my punishment, or whatever, wasn't that bad, maybe I getting off easy... And then Brendon came sprinting in with a goofy smile on his face.
Nevermind, looks like I'm not getting off easy. I couldn't tell Brendon that I'm dying, he would freak out, even if I am just crazy but I would feel guilty if he didn't know and I just dropped like a fly.
"Hey Bren, they have Jell-O in the cafeteria."
"Ooh! I'll be right back!" He shouted as he ran off, I was happy that I had gotten the desired effect of getting Brendon to leave so I could talk to Jon and Spencer, but I feel a bit bad about tricking Brendon...eh I'm going to hell anyway.
I sat down with Spencer and Jon and explained to them what was going on, I don't think they believed me at first but when they saw how serios I was Jon solemnly said 'I'm sorry' and Spencer's eyes got red and teary.
"Ry, what are you going to do about Brendon?" Spencer asked wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
"I don't know, I can't tell him so I think I'm just going to try and spend as much time with you guys as I have left."
"And how much is that?" Jon asked, I took a steady breath.
"47 minutes." Spencer let out a shudder and I wrapped my arm around, my I.V. and a length of chain draped on his shoulder, only one of which he could see.
"Hey, I got lemon and lime- what's wrong?" Brendon asked surprising us, he usually wasn't that stealthy. Spencer pulled himself together and while smiling said a simple 'nothing'. We sat for a while and just talked about things, everyone aware except Brendon who happily ate his Jell-O.
"Well," Brendon said, "I'm gonna head home, sorry I couldn't stay longer Ry, but I come tomorrow." I panicked. I didn't know what to say, I can't let him leave, I still had about 40 minutes left, he would be heartbroken if he left and I died.
"Bren, we actually have something to tell you," I glared at Spencer, he couldn't tell him, "we are taking Ryan home today." I breathed a sigh of relief.
"WHAT! Really! Oh my god, that's great! See I knew you'd get well enough to come home!" Oh no. We screwed up. He thinks I'm ok. Oh crap. This is going to be bad.
"But only for the night," Spencer added, and Brendon gave a frown.
"Well at least that means you're getting better, soon you'll be outta here for good! C'mon let's get your stuff and we can all stay at my place." Oh god. I had planned on pretending to be tired and saying that I was going to take a nap when my time ran out that way if I actually died, it would look natural. I tried to delay as much as I possibly can so I wouldn't end up keeling over in Brendon's car, or worse his house. We all talked while I packed my things and for a moment it was nice, until it was time to go and I was down to 5 minutes.
Carrying my things to the elevator, but having to go back because I 'forgot' something.
Making it all the way down the the front desk.
Making us stop at the vending machine because I'm thirsty and not being able to decide what drink I want
Now I have to pee because I drank too much soda.
The last sixty seconds of my life and it is used walking down another hallway toward the front desk, where we aren't going to be able to get out because I'm not actually going home. I look over to Spencer and a single tear races down his cheek, he smiles sadly at me. Jon wears a emotionless face but gives me a nod. Everything seems like it's going in slow moition now, Brendon bounces again of me and doesn't notice when I turn to give Jon and Spencer long hugs.
I fill Spencer in on the time and his face gets more pale as I do, and grips my hand.
"C'mon guys what are you waiting for." Brendon turns and says.
I walk on Bredon's left side, Jon and Spencer behind us. I turn to look at Brendon, I feel guilty for not telling him.
"Bren, I just wanted to tell you you are my bestfriend and you mean a lot to me." He smiled at me, I'm gonna miss that.
"Same here," 16 seconds "You're my bestfriend Ry." This while be a funny story when I don't die and get taken back to my room by security because I tried to leave...right?
I'm not going to die, how did I ever believe that. I must really be crazy.
Jon coughs so I turn around and smile at the two while crossing my fingers for good luck, Jon smiles and Spencer just looks terrified.
I'm not going to die, what was I thinking.
There isn't even a remote chance of that happening due to some freaky dream.
Sickness however is a possiblity.
Anyway I'll be fine.
But what if I'm not?
"Yeah." I wrapped my around around him, giving him the biggest hug. He loked shocked but then ok with it. Everything was fine. And then everything went wrong. I felt like something was ripped from me like a giant bandaid was stuck to my body. I heard something hit the floor. I opened my eyes and I wasn't hanging onto Brendon anymore. I was convulsing on the floor. I stood and watched as Brendon, Spencer and Jon were running to me and screaming my name. A pair of nurses ran over and hoisted me onto a gurney while another held back Brendon who was kicking and screaming. One of the nurses announced I didn't have a pulse, the other one ran and got a defibrillator and began to working on me. Nothing worked though. I was pronounced dead at 5:42 PM.There was feeling of tension inside me that seemed to be pulling me toward a small door of the end of the hallway. Inside was a large white room with a could and a TV screen. I sat down not knowing what to do when the screen started to play something. It was Brendon, the way he looked when i collapsed. His face the terror and sadness, it killed me. Then it showed Brendon getting away from the nurse and trying to follow the gurney when it took me away. Blue euyes filled the screen, they were red and had tears flowing out of them. Spencer sat with his hands cupping his face and sobs escaping his lips. Jon didn't cry until later when he was alone, in his house, letting out a few soft sobs. It flashed back to Brendon, he looked so broken so hurt. And now I understood, this was hell and this was my eternal punishment.
A/N Thank for reading! This was based off of a dream I had so sorry if it is weird and bad. I just thought it was interesting so I turned it Panic! Also I'm not religious so if doesn't make sense well i have no idea what I'm doing. Thanks again.