Whenever Gerard puts pen, paintbrush, charcoal to paper a little bit of his soul leeks onto the canvas; Gerard could never sell that.
- I don't usually review stories because I am one of those awful silent readers, but I felt like I had to write you a little something.
The way I see it, a good story is one where you read the first chapter and you want to read more. I totally got that with this story and I hope you update soon. :)
Author's responseThank you so much honestly this review has kinda made my day C:
I hope I wont keep you waiting too long!
(#) jack-the-ripper 2012-04-18 02:35:29 AMooh i like this!! :)
I really hate pointing out anything close to negative about anyone's stories cause it sort of makes me feel like I should be able to do better, then.. When I know that I'm not even close to your level of talent :)
But anyway, there was a thing that caught my eye several times, the way you use the word 'like' a lot.. And it doesn't really bother if it's a part of the style of the narration but it was just something I wanted to point out, for example
"and like dying"
"to have like forgotten"
"like fucking married"
"used to be like the cutest couple"
"got AIDs and like died"
"and like sleeping on his face"
"he had like the best hair"
"fought or like moved away"
"there’s like this spark"
"be like veggie food"
"and he like claims"
there was just a lot of those and at some point it started reminding me of a certain type of teenager speaking.. :)
Okay now that I got that out, I still have to tell you that I really loved the chapter, I'd just want to read 65498 in a row so keep updating please :)
Author's responseThank you so much and concrit is always very very welcome so thanks
I shall explain the amount of likes
It's basically because I'm writing in the style of a Not fic which is a much more casual way of writing at it's supposed to be almost as if you're just telling a story to one of your friends rather than writing a novel if that makes sense? Later in the story I even use OMG and IKR which I know kills some people but it's almost meant to be sarcastic.
Thank you so much I will do! C:
(#) CosmicZombie 2012-04-18 07:25:04 AMI love this! I know it's only the first chapter, but there's something about this story that's really hooked me in. Very well written and real.
Can't wait to read more!
Author's responseAh yay I'm so glad! Thank you C: I will update asap!
(#) ilovefrankieieroxx 2012-04-24 09:11:57 AMOooooooooh I like this.
Tis very good and well written.
I use "Tis" too much now! Seriously i had to physically stop myself from writing that in my one shot that I'm working on at the moment ._.
Anyway I like the idea of this. Can't wait for more :)
P.s: Btw I shall try and finish that smut as soon as I can but remember I have exams coming up so yeah I'm a bit busy ._.
Author's responseAw thank you!
I say tis a lot too, it's okay xD
awesome, like I said don;t worry too much!
(#) PartyPooperX 2012-04-24 01:17:41 PMI love this! I agree with jack-the-ripper though, you do use 'like' a lot. I applaud you for trying out a different style (never heard of a NOT fic before!) and it works, at the start I found it a bit annoying, but after a while I find it suits the story tone. it could also work if you're writing in Gerard's P.O.V, but hey, I'm not writing the story, am I?!
So yeah, good job and can't wait till next update! :)
Author's responseI'm so glad
and Yeah I think I over used it a little at the begining but I've been cutting down over the last few chapters
It's my first time writing one and it's olot of fun xD
Thank you! It wont be long!
(#) scarlett_fitch2027 2012-05-22 10:54:19 PMYes, yes, this is awesome. Really good writing, I like your style a lot. Casual, but then it suddenly slips into maturity. Classy. Liking the insight we get into Gerard's character at the beggining, that was bootiful, and I like the way you foreshadow without giving away too much.
Wow, this story looks like it's going to be wise and philosophical but fluffy and cute at the same time. Tis a well good mix. Can't wait to read on! ;)
Author's responseOoooh my writing has never been described as classy before oooh
Thank you so much this review is so lovely :3