It seemed that Ed was leading a life too crazy to be compared with fairy tales without it all turning creepy.
FANDOM: Fullmetal Alchemist
WARNING: yaoi, humor, fluff and spoilers if you don't know all the sins
DISCLAIMER: Nor FMA nor its characters are mine but no money is being made here so don't sue or whatever.
SUMMARY: It seemed that Ed was leading a life too crazy to be compared with fairy tales without it all turning creepy.
Â« I don't get it! Â»
The afternoon had been perfectly quiet till this very moment and Roy struggled to take his mind off of work-related matters before turning toward his lover. Edward had been engrossed in some heavy-looking book for some hours now and Roy hadn't expected him to come back to the surface before long. It was fun in a way to see this side of the hyperactive Fullmetal Alchemist. If Mustang hadn't been frequently subjected to this phenomenon, he wouldn't have believed that Ed could stay still for so many hours, as long as he had good reading materials.
He took the time to study the lanky form of the young man. He was twenty-four now, but was still really short as much as he hated to be reminded. In spite of his diminutive stature, he managed to take an impressive amount of space. He had this way of seemingly extending the entirety of his body in a lazy stretch that was akin to that of a great house-cat. Just now, draped across the couch, bathed in the light of the setting sun coming from the window, Roy would almost expect him to purr. He wondered how he could have ever seen him as a dog. Edward was all feline instead. There were moments, like this one, when the young man took his breath away. Even after five years of living together, Roy was still awed that this beautiful being had chosen him, Roy Mustang, over anyone else to share his life.
Roy was working on his upcoming State Alchemist's evaluation. Men of his rank were usually exempted of it, but the new politics of the Military were to keep track of each State alchemist no matter who it was. So, General Mustang had to suck up his distaste and do like everyone. He wasn't a scholar and his researches took an awful big part of his time. He was almost insulted by the facility with which Ed had passed the same evaluation, two weeks ago. He chose instead to hide his feelings of inadequacy and to be proud of his lover. That was the downs of living with a genius; Edward could sometimes make you feel downright stupid without even trying. That was why the young man's exclamation was unexpected. Whatever book he was reading, he should be able to "get it" and even in the case where some points would stay obscure, he wouldn't ask Roy, but go to the closest phone to call his brother.
"What don't you get Edward?"
"Fairy tales. I really don't see the point."
"You are reading fairy tales?" Roy was justifiably surprised. No, more like stunned. His geek of a lover was always reading about Alchemy during such afternoons. Hell, he wasn't even sure that Ed had ever read anything just for fun, he couldn't remember a single time when he would have seen him engrossed in a novel or even a paper. So, he had the utmost difficulty to reconcile the picture of Ed reading fairy tales with that of the usually so serious young man.
"Yes, it is a collection of all the classic ones. But the more I'm reading them, the less I am getting the point."
"Well, this isn't really surprising. You have not a single romantic bone in all your body, that is no wonder you wouldn't grasp the poetry of such tales."
"No, that's not it. I understand how such sweet stories are able to make naive maiden dream." Roy arched an eyebrow at this, but the serious expression on his lover's face prevented him from uttering the crack he had on the tip of his tongue. "Those tales are even pretty well-written and I recognize that all the adventures are quite interesting. What I don't get is the supposed symbolism."
"I am afraid I am not following you Edward. What are you talking about?"
"I was talking with Elysia the other day and she told me she had this paper to write for school. Her teacher wants them to explain the symbolism in the fairytale of their choice and discuss on how you can apply it in everyday life. I told her that fantasies could not have any part in real life, but Al and Gracia-san disagreed with me, saying that I was the one missing the point."
Edward let out a frustrated breath and shrugged despondently. Roy was beginning to see the problem. His lover couldn't bear to be faced with an unknown. No matter what he was studying, it always came easy for him. But not this time. That angered him and was the reason he had been reading fairy tales all afternoon with such dedication. Edward refused to be defeated by any intellectual matter. Roy could have enjoyed watching him struggle with incomprehension for once, but he was a good lover and so, no matter his own inferiority feelings, he wanted to help. What's more, he thought that it could be really fun.
"Let's see... I haven't read any fairy tales for quite some time, but if I recall, their goal is to offer some kind of moral, while hiding it with the pretense of it being all fantasy."
Edward was hanging on his every word. He even leaned toward him, displaying a shameless thirst for knowledge. The power trip it gave Roy was exhilarating, almost as nice as sex ... but not quite. He hadn't seen his lover that way since many years ago, when he was still a teenager and hadn't yet realized that he was stronger and smarter than the Flame Alchemist.
"Take Cinderella for example. It tells you that if a maiden behaves well even in adversity, she will, one day, be rewarded, meet her prince and raise above her condition."
Edward gave him a disbelieving look and snorted distastefully.
"Are you kidding? Cinderella was an idiot. She should have smacked the evil step-sisters and given a piece of her mind to the bitch that married her father, then packed her bags and gone as far as she could."
"Well yeah, but if so she wouldn't have met the prince."
"So what? What is so great with living with a man that hasn't any time to spend with you with all his kingdom's duties and that will make you a swarm of nosy brats to occupy your days? That's what I was saying, those stories can't apply to real life nowadays. Honestly, would you picture Winry, or Hawkeye, or Izumi-sensei doing housework and taking abuse while waiting for some guy to come sweeping them off their feet?"
Roy winced. He knew that if he so much as suggested it to any of them, he would be badly hurt. No wonder Ed had difficulties to understand sweet maiden's frame of mind when all the women he frequented were such... harpies.
"Ok. Maybe that wasn't the best example. Still, if you look closely you can see some similarities in real life and in fairy tales. Look, you used to work with seven persons. I am sure you could make a parallel with the seven dwarfs."
Roy tried to put all of his old subordinates in their rightful roles. His faithful and serious Riza would be Doc of course. Maes's unshakable smile would have made him Happy. Havoc got Sleepy for his laziness. The usual bad moods of Breda granted him the role of Grumpy. The impossibly cute Fuery was Bashful without a doubt. As the perpetual stiffness of Farman suggested he was holding back a sneeze, Roy made him Sneezy. Finally, by pure evilness and in retaliation of numerous past abuse, Armstrong was chosen as Dopey. Of course, Roy himself would have been the delicious Snow White. He had the perfectly fair skin needed for the role and the seven others were appointed at his protection, so there!
While caught in his fantasy, he had completely missed the horror creeping on his lover's face. For Edward, the most likely people coming in a bunch of seven weren't those forming his old team at Central's Headquarters but the Sins themselves. His imagination was doing a number on him. He didn't know who was more terrifying : Gluttony as Dopey or Sloth as Sleepy? The worst is that he could perfectly picture a Greed/Happy, a Wrath/Grumpy and a Pride/Doc. Even Lust would make an ironic Bashful. Oh rest assured that Roy would pay dearly for that awful suggestion. He felt like his brain had been raped.
"Edward? .... Ed? Fullmetal are you listening?"
"Sorry, I was wondering if Envy could sneeze... Nevermind." Roy gave him an incredulous look, beginning to understand that once again, he may have not presented his opinion in the best of lights. It seemed that Ed was leading a life too crazy to be compared with fairy tales without it all turning creepy. Mustang wasn't one to lay defeated. Whatever it took, he would made Edward understand.
"Ok, let's try it with a different approach. Hmm... I know! Take your brother, we could see the time he spent without a body like something similar to Sleeping Beauty's slumber. You know like a waiting stage, an allegory for the period between childhood and adulthood. You would be as the prince and the Alchemy you performed on him to recover his body would be like the kiss given to the princess. An act of love, allowing a transformation and greater things to come."
"You are insane you know that? And first, isn't the prince the one supposed to wear the shining armor?" Edward tapped his index finger on his chin thoughtfully. "Al would be far better than myself as a prince. He has the good kind of sweetness you know. Prince Charming indeed... I wonder who I would be."
"You're a fairy of course!"
"Who's a fairy?" In barely a second flat, Edward was standing in a fighting stance, his hands positioning as if to clap, his face red and his breath hissing. He was impossibly cute, like a ruffled kitty. However Roy was not going to tell him that, one inconsiderate insult a minute was more than enough. He had to think fast and placate his lover before the Fullmetal got out of control. Roy stood slowly, hands lax in front of him as if to point the lack of gloves and walk to the couch with a disarming expression.
"I didn't mean THAT kind of fairy Edward. I was thinking of a fairy like in fairy tales." Ed's shaking didn't appear like a good thing, but Roy carried on with his slow approach. When dealing with a skittish animal, don't show your fear: that was one of the basics. "Hear me out. Your Alchemy is like some sort of magical power isn't it? And it makes this blue light, real pretty if you ask me."
Edward grunted disapprovingly, but seemed to settle down and sat back on the couch. Roy walked the rest of the way and joined him on the space left for him in obvious invitation. That had been a close call, Edward's fits of anger could get very bad.
"You are also an alchemist. Does it make you a fairy too?"
"NO! ... I mean, I don't make the blue light, not really. I am more like a fire-breathing dragon." Ed gave a dry chuckle at that.
"YOU are a dragon and I am a fairy. Do you think that's fair?"
"Well, there is also your hair." The blank expression answering him enjoined him to explain further. "It is long and blond. Fairies have this kind of hair. Look at Tinkerbell, the tiny fairy in Peter Pan..."
As if swallowing something sour, Edward answered in a threatening tone: "If I were you, I would avoid any comment on my height. This couch isn't so comfortable that one would want to spend the next month sleeping on it."
"Point duly noted. Ok you are not a fairy. I will find something else."
"You'd better." Roy thought that his lover would make a really lovely fairy but, alas, if Edward was going to be difficult, he would let it go. After all, he could still picture him with tights and shiny wings in the secret of his mind. Now that this sore point had been abandoned, Ed was relaxing again and even stretched his legs on top of Roy's. The older man grabbed the flesh foot in solid hands and began massaging it. Ed let out a low moan and gave his lover a smile.
While working to please the young man, Roy was still thinking of what fairy tale's character Ed reminded him of. Suddenly, it dawned on him. It was perfect. A smirk appeared on his handsome face and he accentuated his massage to relax Edward enough for him to take the announcement without freaking out.
"I've found who you are Edward." Ed gave him a curious look and Roy's grin grew wider.
"You are the Little Red Riding Hood." Ed predictably spluttered and tensed, but Roy simply dug his thumb strongly in the sole of his foot and all fight left the younger man.
"Ok. I'm listening..."
"Sorry that you have to hear that Edward but you ARE small. And when you arrived in Central that first time you looked so naive, so innocent. You were also wearing a red coat. The comparison is really too easy." Roy harbored a self-satisfied smirk and Ed was too comfy to protest much. He still asked sarcastically.
"And I guess that would make you the Big Bad Wolf."
"Indeed." Roy's smile was impossibly smug.
"I warn you Roy, if you so much as growl, I'll deck you."
Roy didn't growl, but he pounced. Hours later, when his lover finally went to sleep, Edward thought that Mustang made a nice wolf, even the biting hadn't been so bad.