"I want to look after Gee." Read, review, rate and feel my love! :P
I always knew that Pete has little to no sense of reality, or of just plain sensibleness. He just does what he wants to do and thinks of the consequences when he finally has to face them because he knows that his sheer charm can get him out of almost anything.
But I don’t think that his charm is going to have any sort of effect on the panicking big brother sat next to me on the couch, hands racing through his hair as though the worry has set his mind on fire and he’s trying desperately to put it out. Gerard’s reverted back to a toddler watching a horror movie because, thanks to the guy who’ll be seeing my angry-parent side flare up the second he gets in, it’s eight o’clock at night and Mikey isn’t home.
And neither is Pete.
The fact that Pete’s with him gives me certain knowledge that the kid’s more than alright; I know Pete well enough to understand the way that he acts around Mikes and what that therefore entails. The fact that he’d never let any sort of harm come to the nervous-wreck of a child. I’ve told Gee that more times than I can count since four this afternoon, at least twenty times every half hour, but nothing seems to be getting through to my best friend. Not that I can blame him there; not after what he’s watched Mikey go through and barely survive to tell the tale. I get that Gee just wants to make the kid safe, would probably keep him in his back pocket if he could, I’d think he was insane if he didn’t after getting to know how sweet Mikey Way is. But I also get that Mikey’s fifteen; old enough to make his own decisions and his own friends.
And his own whatever-Pete-is-to-hims.
Gerard seems to be under the impression that the kid can’t walk without him bring there to hold him upright and I can kind of see why; after years of watching his baby brother being abused right in front of him it really is no wonder that he feels the need to act as a personal body guard. He has to learn to let go though, especially when it’s to let Mikes be with someone that he quite clearly enjoys being with. I can’t deny that I’m more than a little worried too, though, hence the fact Pete will be doing the washing up for the next five weeks as payment for making us two older ones fret like this.
To hell with that; for making Gee fret like this. I care about him too much to just let something like this slide on past as though him tearing out his hair over an occurrence that could have been avoided is not important. To Pete it might not be, but to me it is. Because, just as Pete wants to look after Mikey, I want to look after Gee. Make him smile; laugh; sing like he used to back when he had something to sing for. His singing really is the most amazing sound to ever waltz onto my eardrums with the grace of a fleeing antelope. It’s a sound that can’t be pinned to one single word, or even a million, but can be described as the one thing that makes everything else sound ungodly because it’ll never sound as sweet as his sandpaper-and-velvet voice.
A voice that is currently muffled by the all-encompassing paw of racked nerves that has been caused by Pete’s inability to think things through. I mean, I’m sure that he’s taking perfectly good care of the kid. Even if aforementioned kid was meant to be in school today and then coming straight home, where he belongs.
“Where are they, ‘Trick?” The question comes out more like a beg, an urgent plea for some sort of proof that Mikey is indeed as safe as I believe him to be. “What if Pete’s hurt him?”
“Gee, I’ve known Pete for years and I trust him with everything I have. I wouldn’t have let him take Mikes to school if I thought, even for a second, that he might hurt him.” I reply, keeping my tone calm and gentle because the last thing he needs it to see how nervous about this their extreme lateness has made me. “You just gotta give Pete a chance.”
It’s true; one chance and I know that Gee and him could be best buds. It’s just getting Gerard to give that fabled one chance that’s proving to be the problem here. I can’t hold it against him though, he’s only doing what he thinks is best after all. Just like he was when he punched Pete in the face on Saturday morning, ruining the small smile of happy contentment that had been on Mikey’s cute little face. Normally I think I probably would still be mad at him for using violence in my house, in front of a frightened little kid as well, but I’ve never been able to stay mad at Gee.
I like him way too much for that. Way too much to be able to stand watching him suffer at the absence of the one thing that’s always been a constant in his shaken-up life; his baby brother who isn’t really a baby at all anymore.
He looks up from his lap, eyes puffy in an almost poisonous way in the respect that it cripples my heart to see it, and appears to search me for any sign of doubt. Of course he won’t find any; I honestly have every bit of faith in Pete’s ability to look after the younger, more vulnerable Way brother. Even if he did manage to kill his “pet” cactus after two days of having it in his windowsill. But Mikey’s not a cactus; he’s a boy. A kind, caring, sweetly sensitive boy who’s managed to unwittingly capture Pete Wentz’s hyperactive little heart.
“I promise, Gee; Mikey couldn’t be any safer with any other guy.” I reassure him, reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulders to give him some sort of safety in the idea that I really do know what I’m talking about.
Instantly he leans against me, resting his forehead on my shoulder and letting out a heavy sigh that brushes my hair away from my rounded cheeks. It’s a simple gesture, I know, but it’s one that makes me ache even more to make it all better. The kind of simple gesture that really does leave me questioning whether or not friendship is just enough for me when it comes to Gerard Way.
But right now is not the time to be pondering my non-existent love life that would most likely still be just as non-existent if it turned out that I do want Gee in that way. Right now is the time for me to be helping my best friend through thoughts of his abused baby brother being in danger once again. Not that Pete would ever let that happen for two extremely valid reasons; the first being that he cares about Mikes too much to even let the wind blow against the kid’s face the wrong way, the second being that he knows he’ll be seeing the apocalyptically angry side of me should Mikey come home as anything less than when he left the house this morning. I’m not angry very often, I can count the number of times on one hand, but when I get mad I really get mad.
Scary too, according to Pete from when he saw me lose it with a group of teenagers picking on a tiny little girl because she was in a wheelchair. I just hate to see anybody hurt, the innocent and the young in particular. So let’s just pray that Pete’s taking as good a care of Mikey as my estimations tell me he is. Should be if the way his eyes shine at any indication of Mikey is anything to go by.
“Pete was meant to take him to school! Not on a fucking road trip to God-knows-where without telling me!” Gerard all but howls into me, making me clutch him right up close like a bride with her bouquet of elegant red roses. “Fucking Creeper, acting like he fucking owns my baby brother.”
A small smile creeps onto my face at his bitter little grumble; he sounds like a toddler complaining about someone stealing his teddy bear, not a grown man who was almost sobbing for his baby brother minutes ago. It’s kind of ironic too, actually, the way he’s got a grudge against Pete for acting more than a little possessive over Mikey when he calls the younger kid his all of the time. And makes decisions for him, just like he owns him.
The smile soon gets wiped off when I catch sight of Gee’s eyes fixed on my face, staring in a way that part of me wants to think is gazing, and pleading with me to make it all better; to somehow produce Mikey unto him in a flash of blinding light and a chorus of singing angels. I want to say that I wish I could, but I don’t. Because Mikey needs to learn to trust more than just his big brother and said big brother needs to learn to let Mikey make his own mistakes to learn from.
Pete won’t let it be a mistake though, I know he won’t.
“Mikey’s not a baby anymore, Gee.” I whisper, the steady blink of his eyes reminding me that I’m staring. “He’s fifteen and he’s been through more than most people twice his age. You know that better than I do. So just let him have one day of fun, of just being normal.”
My words are full of emotion, the kind that’s starting to spill out of his murky eyes, and I start to second-guess using that line of argument with Gee. After all, the last thing he needs is for me to dreg up not-so-old memories of how their father used to be with poor Mikey. But it’s the only thing that might just make Gerard see sense. Gerard’s incredibly stubborn when he thinks he’s right, you see, and even more so when it comes to a subject he’s passionate about so this kind of tactic might just be the only way I’ve got of making him change his mind about Pete. I have to make him change his mind; for Pete so that his theory of true love can win through; for Mikey so that the poor kid can just be as happy as he seemed to be when he was snoozing in Pete’s arms the other morning; for Gerard so that he can share the stress of having a traumatised kid to look after.
That’s who I’m doing it for really, isn’t it? Gerard Arthur Way. My best friend.
My best friend who should definitely be more than a best friend. Definitely.
He pulls out from my side, fixing me with a steady look. It’s the kind of steady look that tells me if he didn’t respect my opinion so much, then he would most probably have punched my lights out right now. It’s the kind of look that would make me feel all horrible and hurt inside if it weren’t for the fact that it’s the exact reaction I was aiming for; it shows that my words have gotten into his head, at the very least. Now to make him believe them.
“I can’t believe you’re taking his side, Patrick!”
“Hey, I’m not taking anyone’s side here.” I keep my voice level, refusing to shout like Gerard did because the second I snap is the second that my point loses any validity. “All I’m saying is that I can see how much Pete cares about Mikey and how much Mikey clearly feels comfortable around Pete. Just let Mikes have that one tiny thing to make him happy.” I pause, seeing his mind visibly whirring away in the back of his head. “I’m not telling you that you have to like Pete, just that you have to let Mikey like him if that’s how Mikey feels.”
“But, ‘Trick, they could be anywhere right now.” He mumbles, all the fight drained from his tone as he slumps back into me and my arms hold him into place. “How do we even know that they’re together and not at other ends of the state?”
“Because we know that Pete thinks the world of Mikey. He’d never leave that kid alone anywhere, not even at school.”
“You knew they were gonna skip?” Gerard practically squeals up at me, a near-furious glint burning at his obsidian pupils and shining away the sly smirk that had started to form on my lips. “You knew and you still let them do it?”
It would be unfair of me to lie; I did know. Of course I did, it couldn’t have been any more obvious if Pete had yelled it from the top of his lungs this morning before heading out with the younger Way in tow. It’s pretty clear that Mikey gets bullied at school, a fact that I’m sure Pete’s picked up on, and it’s pretty clear that Pete loves the kid like I’ve never seen anyone love anything else ever before; equating to Pete applying his own brand of well-intentioned protection to the situation. Logically obvious when you think about it, really.
Dead romantic too, if you ask me.
“I had an inkling.” I reply, keeping it slightly ambiguous so as not to put me in the line of fire from my favourite person. “Besides, you really think I could have stopped them? They’re in love, Gee. Get used to it.”
I feel him tense next to me at the four-letter word that can build lives and destroy souls; at the precarious emotion that could either be the making of Mikey Way or the final push that sends him over the edge for good. I look down to see him trying to wrap his head around it, lips slightly parted as though drinking in the information and trying it for taste. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t just spit the idea straight out, but rather lets it swirl in his thoughts like a fine wine and gets accustomed to the thought of Mikey not just relying solely on him anymore.
“I don’t like this, ‘Trick. Not at all.” He mumbles at me, sounding like he’s foreseeing the impending rapture and being told that our only hope for salvation is a flea-bitten mutt. “First love always ends in heartbreak. And I don’t know if Mikey can take that right now.”
He definitely does have a more than valid point there; the majority of first relationships end in tears and a shitload of ice-cream, thus meaning that this will most likely end in Gerard piecing his baby brother’s heart back together at some point in the oncoming months. Apart from I know it won’t because I know Wentz better than that. It might be Mikey’s first experience with love, but it most certainly isn’t Pete’s. Not by a long shot. And this is the first time that it’s actually seemed real; like Pete’s feelings for Mikey go deeper than just physical attraction and teenage curiosity.
Because Pete Wentz is just as in love with Mikey Way as I am with Gerard; way too much for it to be bearable.
Gerard was clearly not expecting that question judging by the way his eyes widen like exploding fireworks, a light blush creeping onto his face and making me unable to resist the urge to smirk at him.
“I-I… I haven’t had a first love yet.” He shuts his eyes and lets out a melancholy sigh that makes me regret my words. And makes my heart stop in surprise; someone as sinfully good-looking as Gerard Way can’t have made it to eighteen years of age without having a single bit of romance. “What about you? Did yours?”
Now it’s my turn to blush. Because I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before either. Just Gerard. Always Gerard.
And who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got a Gerard to cheer you up when you get down? To watch scary movies with you. To laugh at all your dumb jokes that don’t even sound funny to you. To give you style tips when you don’t know what to wear. To draw you pictures of all of your favourite things to dot up all over your bedroom walls. To be everything that a partner should be but better.
I think that’s why I never really looked for love; I had it right in front of me the whole time. I was just waiting for it to realise that that’s what it is. Who Gerard is to me.
In a flash-flood of insanity, most likely bought on by the fact that a sad Gee Way is snuggled against me, I suddenly realise that a lifetime is an awfully long time to wait for Fate to do your dirty work for you. And that, right now, Gerard needs something to take his mind off of Mikey.
So I dart my face towards his, our lips pressing against each other like two prisoners fighting against the bars of their cell. It starts of urgent, my panic at refusal and his need to feel loved reigning the kiss, but it soon blossoms into a gentle, loving embrace of lips on lips. Nothing too lusty, just a shy first taste of life’s true flavour. A flavour that isn’t cruel or mean or evil, but wonderful.
Solid. Warm. Perfect.
I feel his hand snake it’s way around to the back of my neck, pressing my face further onto his as we just sit there kissing. The two of us forgetting that I have an insane housemate with an addiction to sugar who has currently run off with Gee’s baby brother. Because nothing else matters right now other than the feeling of love, of pure appreciation that his teddy-bear lips are pressing into me. Just making me feel like I don’t need to work to feel like I belong and that I’m wanted; because Gerard Way is kissing me back. I’m putting my all into it, making sure that this is feeling as good for him as it is me because, well, I love him. And he deserves to feel nice right now.
We pull away, my lips still tingling with the taste of heaven, and lean against one another’s forehead; eyes latched onto each other and twin smiles letting the world know that nothing can bring us down right now.
“You tell me. Did he?”
“No. And he never will.”
A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope that this was alright! I think there’s probably going to be one more chapter to go with this and that will most likely be up tomorrow. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please, please let me know what you think! :)