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"It twirls over the pebbles, caressing them with it's shine." A poem about the sea. Written because its currently my next door neighbour. Feedback? I would love some.
(#) CosmicZombie 2012-05-03 11:30:52 AMThis is wonderful; the ambiance is beautiful, yet dark at the same time. I also live by the sea, so I really felt this- I loved the way you made the rhythm almost like that of the waves on the beach- whether it was intended or not. But...yeah. I really like this. Very poetic, and I loved the darkness towards the end- it completed it perfectly.
Oh, and I especially loved this verse:
It twirls over the pebbles
Caressing them with its shine
Trickles between the valleys of rock
Unperturbed by time
Thanks for sharing!
Author's responseWow, thanks so much! I kinda wanted the rhythm to be like to waves so it's awesome you picked that out. I just love the sea but I've also seen the destruction it causes so I'm glad you like the darkness of the ending. Thank you.