Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Easy A

The next day when I showed up at school, Sile ran over to me with her arms wide. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me close "Hey Gee! I missed you so much!"

I smiled and hugged her back. We hugged for a long time (too long for my liking) until the bell rang and finally we broke apart to go to first lesson.

She wrote me a note in first period 'Hey bro! You wanna hang out after school today? Kisses! - Sile xx

I turned around and gave her a quick thumbs up. As I did this I couldn't help but notice Zia looking over at the two of us and sneering. Not that I could blame her. Afterall I had made friends with our arch enemy.

By second period we apparently had private jokes. We were in biology and Sile had been paired up with Sophie. They were on the desk in front of me so every so often during the lesson, Sile would turn to me, making a gagging signal behind his back before laughing silently. Yet again, I simply smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

Then in woodshop the unthinkable happened. And it wasn't because someone sawed off a thumb which has happened before. Sile ran over to me and sobbed "Bob's in the hospital! He's in so much pain! The nurse didn't know what was wrong."

I'd never really had much experience comforting people in the past. Every so often Mikey had creeped into my bedroom with a bad dream but he fell asleep again in about five minutes. So like yesterday, I just wrapped my arms round Sile and said "Don't worry, Bob will be okay."

Then when I was getting changed for PE, Sile told me she had to go back to the office to see to her 'duties'. I was fine with this - Kind of because she was starting to annoy me a little. But as I finished putting my trainers on, Sile stormed into the guys locker room looking extremely pissed off. I didn't notice how pissed off she looked at first so I held out my arms to her and smiled. She then slapped me round the face. "MotherFUCKER!" I screamed, clutching my face while Sile marched, now satisified, out of the room.

Unfortunately from outside Zia saw the whole thing. She walked in and as she breezed past me whispered "My sentiments exactly."

"Oh, grow up!" I hissed, slamming my locker door shut and storming away.

For a while I didn't know what I'd done wrong. I hadn't gotten into an agreement with anyone recently so nobody should really have been allowed to start a rumour about me. All through PE I tried hard to think what I could have possibly done wrong. But in the end, I had no idea.

So I thought that if anybody knew why Sile was so pissed off at me, it would be Mrs.Griffith since they worked right next to each other. And Sile would waste no oppurtunity to bitch about me. As I walked into the room, Mrs.Griffith was packing up all her stuff into a box. "What!" Cried Mrs.Griffth "What do you want? Just go!" She picked up a framed photo of her and Mr.Griffith and slammed it into the box. It shattered to pieces. And then Mrs.Griffith broke down into tears.

I went to turn away but then felt awkward so turned back and said "I'm sorry, I was just looking for Sile. Did she say something about being mad at me? She just hit the shi- 'crap' outta me."

"It's my fault. I'm so sorry Gerard." For a moment I was puzzled. Had Mrs.Griffith claimed to be sleeping with me? But she continued "I fucked up Gerard. I fucking fucked up so fucking bad. I'm a fucking... Fuck."

"Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I don't think you're supposed to use that sort of language in front of a student."

"Yeah, well, you're not supposed to fuck them either but it didn't fucking stop me!"

I blinked at her for a moment before putting two and two together "Oh my god! You and - I'm not juding you or anything but oh my god. Wait... What does that have to do with me?"

Mrs.Griffith pulled me fully into the room and sat me down at her desk. She locked the office door so that no one could come in and began to tell me "The thing is Gerard, I have Chlamydia. And you should know before I tell you that my marraige is not great. I know people have been saying things but it's much worse than they say. We haven't slept together in months, you know? I know that he's trying to put in the effort in but it's not working Gerard! We're not teenagers anymore! I think the only reason I married him was because honestly, I didn't want to be alone forever. So then Bob comes in to talk about his parents divorce and he was so nice Gerard, complimenting me and telling me how amazing I was. We ended up doing, well you know, 'it'. And then he got Chlamydia off me. He went to the Doctor's today and his Mother found out what he got and he panicked! He couldn't say he'd got it off me, he didn't want me to lose my job or my husband for that matter. So under the pressure well, he lied and said you were the one who gave him Chlamydia. But don't worry Gerard, I'm going to make this right. I'll tell everyone that it was me, not you. You shouldn't have to suffer over something that I did."

I don't know whether it's because just recently I'd been helping the needy or whether I didn't want to see my favourite teachers marraige burn or maybe Mrs.Griffith knew if she told me all this that I'd say "I could have Chlamydia. I have Chyamydia, everyone thinks he's gay. It's fair I suppose. And anyway, the whole school knows I've been whoring around."

"No you haven't." Mrs.Griffith told me "Because a real whore can't admit it to themselves let alone others."

I put my hand on her shoulder "Call Bob. Tell him I said he's an asshole and that he owes me big for this and also for the time I pretened not to see him in Third Grade during a game of hide-and-seek but I confess to giving him Chlamydia." Mrs.Griffith started sobbing and threw her arms round me, sobbing into my shoulder "And it's not really my place to say this, but I figure after the conversation we just had, I can speak candidly. Your husband is hot and you're taking advantage of him. My advice to you would be to go home, seduce him and pretened this whole business with Bob never happened."

I stroked her hair quickly before she looked up at me and asked "Do you want some more condoms?"

I shook my head "No, you keep them."



When I walked out of school I was shocked to find a group of people holding a bunch of signs that said things like 'School is for learning, not for whoring' and 'Gerard Way is a whore'. Zia was there with them, shouting abusive things and waving her sign around like a flag. Finally she was getting her revenge for the things I said about her. The funny thing is that the whole time this shit was going down, I just kept thinking about how I could've come up with better signs. No one even bothered to use alliteration or, God forbid, irony - not even a single acronym - and that seems a lot more unforgivable than my sins.

"You're going to hell Gerard!" One guy yelled.

I sighed and stormed over to Zia. I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the others "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm trying to make this school a better place."

"Zia, if this is because I'm more popular than you now then I really think-"

"You really think you're popular?" Zia laughed, raising an eye-brow "Look around Gerard. Everybody hates you! Get a life." She grabbed her sign and took a couple of steps away from me "I'll be praying for you!" Then she stormed away.

My eyes filled with tears but I refused to let them fall. Before I knew what was going on, Anna was standing in front of me looking worried "Are you okay Gerard?"

"Oh yeah, I'm swell."

Anna bit her lip before saying "Screw all these people Gee."

I laughed sarcastically "Haven't you heard? I already did."
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