He would never be loved; he could feel it within himself. How could anyone love him? He was worthless. RYDON one-shot
He felt a new wave of hot tears sting his eyes. He had no sense to be crying, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. He would never be loved; he could feel it within himself. How could anyone love him? He was worthless, nothing more than a pretty face. And not even that in his honest opinion.
His hair plastered to his face but he didn’t dare brush it away. He opened his caramel eyes and watched the rain drops fall. He wished they would drown him, as he was already drowning in his sorrow.
He’d made a mistake and he knew it.
Ryan sat in the car right next to the beautiful raven haired boy. He looked into the chocolate eyes that he knew so well and suddenly, he couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed onto the boy’s face and kissed him deeply.
He relished in the feeling of Brendon’s lips on his own. They were perfect, as perfect as the rest of him. When Ryan broke the kiss Brendon stared at him in confusion and it was then he realized what a mistake he had made.
Ryan quickly opened the car door and ran out into the pouring rain, Brendon calling after him. He didn’t stop though; he kept running and never looked back. He ended up outside of an abandoned movie theater. He sat down on the small square of grass and felt the rain drops against his back.
And that is where Ryan currently sat, still welcoming the feel of rain on his dejected form. He wished he could take it back, go back to earlier that day and change it. He would stop himself from kissing Brendon, he would keep his secret just that; a secret. But he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t change the past, all he could do was wish to drown in the pouring rain and hope no one would find him.
Ryan curled into a ball shivering. If he couldn’t drown in the rain he could at least die of hypothermia. His teeth chattered but he didn’t mind, nothing mattered anymore. Now that he had ruined everything. How could he have been so stupid to think that Brendon could ever return his feelings? He was worthless. He was stupid, oh so stupid!
What he wouldn’t give to hear Brendon’s exquisite voice saying his name one more time! He looked up at the darkened sky and tried to find the moon’s light from under the clouds. The only lights around were the headlights from passing cars on the street. Ryan heard a car pull into the parking lot he was sat in and looked up. The headlights blinded him. He couldn’t see who drove the car until a tall form stepped out.
“Ryan!” The boy exclaimed. He ran to Ryan, carrying an umbrella and a blanket. As he got closer, Ryan could make out the dark coffee brown hair and pale skin. Brendon had come to make it personal. To tell him that he could never love a person like Ryan. Who could? “Oh Ryro, I’ve been looking for you for hours!”
Ryan winced at the affectionate nickname the younger boy had given him long ago. This was just too much for him. He felt a few stray tears leak from his eyes.
Brendon leaned down holding the umbrella over the older boy and wrapped the blanket around him. He looked into the caramel orbs, shining with tears and wiped them away with his thumb. “Why are you crying?” He asked with such sincerity that it caused Ryan to cry more. “Ryro, please don’t cry. Tell me what’s wrong.”
How could he be so blind? How could he not see the pain written so plainly across his face? Was unrequited love supposed to hurt this much? Ryan bit his lip and looked anywhere but Brendon’s face. He wanted his last moments with the boy to last forever, he never wanted to let go of this beautiful person.
“Please talk to me Ry. What did I do?”
Ryan closed his eyes, Brendon hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all Ryan; it was Ryan who had kissed him. It was Ryan who had dared to love someone so beyond his worth, someone who could never love him back, because who ever would love him?
Thunder crashed in the sky and the two jumped. Brendon pulled Ryan off of the ground and led him to the car in silence. The two sat in the car making no sounds. Brendon stared at Ryan who, in turn, stared out the windshield. “Why did you run off earlier?”
Ryan said nothing. He shivered in silence pulling the blanket tighter around himself. Brendon turned the heat on and watched Ryan, waiting for an answer. Brendon almost gave up before Ryan spoke. “Who could love me?” He said so softly Brendon had to strain to hear him.
Brendon stared at the shivering boy in astonishment. Who couldn’t love Ryro? Why couldn’t he see how wonderful he was? Ryan was the most kind-hearted person Brendon had met, he was beautiful, he was smart. Brendon could see everything that Ryan couldn’t see in himself. “Who couldn’t love you?”
Ryan looked into Brendon’s melted chocolate eyes and stifled a sob. “You…”
Brendon leaned in and captured Ryan’s lips in a quick kiss. “You ran off so quickly.” He placed his hands on the other boy’s face. “Ry, I love you so much, it hurts. How could you not see that? You’re my best friend, but you’re much more than that. You always have been.” Brendon stole another kiss from Ryan’s sweet lips.
The two gazed into each other’s loving eyes. Ryan, for the first time, could see the love Brendon held for him. For once, he didn’t feel so worthless; he felt loved.