Gerard didn't mean for his secret to get out, but what happens when Frank finds it? Oneshot.
One Little Piece Of Paper
Finally it was the last day of the week. It was summer, the classrooms were boiling hot and it didn’t help that the air conditioning didn’t work, turning everyone into baked humans. It was a blessed relief when the bell went and the crowd of teenagers began to make their way outside. People glared at me as I snaked and shoved my way out of the classroom, through the crush of students who were eager to make their way outside.
“Where the heck is he?” I muttered, keeping my eyes peeled for the tall, black-and-white figure that was my best friend, Gerard Way. “Excuse me, ladies,” I said, parting through a group of those awful orange whores who were blocking the corridor. They all giggled and fluttered their eyelashes at me. I had this weird sort of effect on girls, a skill that made them fall at my feet. Not that it ever came to any use.
“Frank?” I turned my head to see Gerard weaving through the crowds towards me, having no problem navigating because of his height. Unlike wee little midget me. I couldn’t help but smile at his figure, I hadn’t seem him since the morning.
“Hey, man. Where’ve you been?” I asked as we joined the throng of students moving towards the exit.
“It was crowded trying to get out,” he said, but he didn’t look away from his scuffed black converse.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as we made our way down the stairs at the end of the corridor into the sunshine.
“You didn’t hear?” Gerard kept his eyes glued to the ground.
“I haven’t heard anything,” I said, now slightly concerned. Gerard raised his head and managed to meet my eyes with his kohl-rimmed hazel ones.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter, then,” he said, plastering a smile on his face. But there was something in his eyes, something that made my stomach lurch a little with worry.
“Is it rumours?” I asked. Gerard just nodded. “That’s fine, then. They’re all bullshit, you know that?” Although now I thought about it, people were staring at me and Gerard as we walked together through the school grounds. Not that they didn’t stare at us, I mean, only they were staring a whole lot more than usual, and some people were whispering and pointing. Gerard looked really self conscious about something. That’s what confused me; normally neither of us cared about the looks and the remarks that followed our gothic, punky selves around, but something was really bugging him this afternoon.
When we reached the gates I turned left to go the way we normally did together, but Gerard held back.
“Gee, are you okay?”
“Sure. You go on, I... I need to go a different way today. Stuff to do, y’know?”
“Oh, okay. Do you want me to come with you?”
“No!” His hastiness to deny my offer hurt but I shrugged it off.
“Okay. I’ll see you later, Gee?”
“Later,” he muttered. I frowned at his retreating back but I turned and continued on my own way home.
I couldn’t get hold of Gerard all weekend. I tried calling him but he didn’t reply, he didn’t reply like his voicemail promised, and my texts didn’t seem to be delivered. I tried getting to him by calling his younger brother, but he couldn’t get anything from Gerard either.
I was worried sick over the weekend. My stomach churned nastily as I found that he wasn’t waiting for me at the corner store like he always did on Monday mornings. He wasn’t sitting on the bench outside the front gates either. He wasn’t even in homeroom that morning. I only saw him in first period, when he ran in ten minutes late, his hair sticking up all over the place.
The mutterings started as soon as he appeared in the room. Quiet laughing followed him all the way as he took his usual seat next to me. I ignored the giggling an the staring, and turned immediately to Gerard.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” I said, in a low voice as to not get told off by the teacher. Gerard just shook his head. “It wasn’t a question, Gee. Would you care to tell me why?” He just shook his head violently and he let his long black hair over his eyes. He hadn’t done that in ages and I knew Gerard better than anyone.
“Just...” Gerard shrugged his shoulders and bowed his head. He stayed like that for the whole lesson. He got up quicker than anyone as the bell went.
“Gerard, what’s wrong?” I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder.
“Leave me alone!” he muttered, shoving his way out of the classroom. He was confusing me more and more every minute.
I had the next period without him. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference, as he had made it quite plain that he didn’t want to speak to me. I didn’t know why, and it hurt. But what surprised me the most is when Mark, the tallest, strongest and meanest guy in the grade approached my table and crouched down in front of me without aiming a punch at my face.
“Where’s your faggot pal now, Frankie?” he breathed, his eyes glinting maliciously.
“What do you mean?” I asked testily, enunciating every syllable deliberately. Mark laughed softly in delight.
“You still haven’t heard?” He was practically beaming. “Frank still hasn’t heard!” he crowed, raising his voice so the whole class could heard. At that, everyone turned around to stare at me.
“What haven’t I heard, Mark?” I asked.
“Your friend Gerard is a gay faggot,” he said, his face glowing too much for the insulting words that were coming out of his mouth.
“You always call him that. Why should I think any differently this time round?”
“Because, Frank, I have proof,” he said, holding out a scrunched up piece of paper. I didn’t take it, so he just dropped it on my desk and stalked away.
I ignored it for about fifteen minutes. But after that time, I could almost feel people trying to make me read it. They might as well have been chanting ‘read it, read it,’ out loud. They were waiting for my reaction. So I took it.
It didn’t look like anything special. Just a piece of paper that had been torn out of a sketchpad. It didn’t burn my fingers or burst into flames and believe me when I say that’s been known to happen. It was inside the paper that was unusual; a picture of me. Okay, maybe not that bad, lots of people drew me; girls who fancied me, people who wanted to take the mickey out of me, cartoonists who wanted an interesting subject, Gerard drew me a lot...
Gerard. They sketch was really good. Only one person I knew could draw that well. My stomach flipped when my eyes traveled down the paper and the handwriting there confirmed my suspicions - it was Gerard’s distinctive loopy scrawl. It was dated Tuesday 14th of June, only last week. My eyes widened as I read the words written underneath the date.
I’m fucked. I mean it, I have well and truly screwed up. Mark and his cronies caught me staring, today. I’m surprised Frank didn’t notice, especially not after Mark practically shouted it to the class. That’s where the drawing came from earlier.
Oh, fuck fuck fuck. Damn you, Frank Iero. Why, oh why, oh why do you have to just be my friend? Only friends? I wish I could just tell you, Frank. But no, I’m simply your best friend so I’m stuck here writing in my fucking diary writing letters to you that you have no chance of seeing.
Fuck! My do you have to do this, Frank? Why did you do this to me, it’s your fucking fault. And I’ll only ever be your best friend, won’t I? It’s all your fault, you and your stupid beautiful smile and your stupid adorable laugh. And I can’t help it, because I fucking love you. I love you, Frank motherfucking Iero.
Why can’t you just see that, Frankie? Can’t you see what you do to me, how much you send my head crazy, how much I long to just tell you how I feel? But I can’t because I know you could have any girl you ever wanted, so why would you choose me? I want you to choose me.
Because I love you. I love you, Frank. I’m fucking in love with you.
My breath caught in my throat.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you, Frank.
I had to read those words a few times over before I realized what the note was telling me. Then I spluttered, a kind of clash between a laugh and a cough of disbelief. I heard the class giggle at my reaction. I cleared my throat and stared up at Mark. From his seat a table away he sniggered cruelly, scribbled a message on a piece of paper and passed it down the row to me. The two people that the message passed read it too and laughed.
I told you that he’s a faggot. I stared down at the hateful last word on the paper, it burnt into my eyes as a hundred different emotions exploded inside me. Anger at how it amused other people. Hated towards the vile slime that walked this earth, named Mark. Sadness that Gerard hadn’t told me. Relief that I finally knew what was bugging him. And happiness, a weird, bubbling happiness that spread from the pit of my stomach.
Again, my eyes flickered to those last few words.
I’m fucking in love with you.
I knew why I was happy. Thank you, Mark, for being a cunt, you’ve probably just made my life. The bell that called classes to break made me jump. I got up straight away, stuffed the paper into my pocked and was halfway towards the door before the teacher had dismissed us. I slowed down as I passed Mark.
“It doesn’t matter if he is gay, Mark. I don’t care. He’s my best friend,” I hissed. He just sneered at me.
“Fine. You two obviously want to be in each other’s pants, so you go ahead and do that if it makes you happy.” I clenched my fist in anger. Before I knew what I was doing I had kicked him, hard, in the balls and had darted out of the room. I grinned as his howl of pain followed me down the corridor.
I knew exactly where Gerard would be and sure enough I found him. He was sitting on the bench underneath what we called ‘Our Tree’. The tree was a gnarled old oak that sat at the back of the grounds, one that nobody ever went near because it looked weird, so Gerard and I had adopted it as our own special little place.
I sat next to him but he didn’t acknowledge that I was there until I pulled out the piece of paper. I could see his face pale from the corner of my eye. I smoothed it out and stared down at it, turning it round and round in my fingers. I turned and looked at him; his face turned even paler, which I didn’t think was possible on his already white face until I had seen it.
“Care to explain?” I asked. The paper had been torn out of his private journal, the one that he would sometimes curl up and write in, the only one he never let me look in. He just stared at the paper in my hands, his face pained. I could practically hear his heat pounding in his chest horrifically quickly, the way it does when you are terrified. It was nearly matching my own heartbeat as I waited for his reply.
“They took it from me. I was reading that entry, and... they...” his voice locked up in his throat.
“The letter?” I asked, glancing down at me feet. Gerard was silent but I could feel him shaking beside me. I glanced up at him and put my right hand on his shoulder. Almost unconsciously, he lifted his left hand and placed it on top of mine. His palms were warm and his fingers were shaking.
“I’m sorry, Frank, I didn’t want you to find out like that.”
“It’s okay. Saves you the trouble.”
“Do you mind?”
“No, I don’t,” I said. Gerard frowned and moved our entwined fingers down onto the bench beside us. “Why would I?”
“You told me it was bullshit.”
“I meant rumours in general are bullshit, but I didn’t know what was going on, did I? It doesn’t mean I think you are bullshit,” I said, my voice wavering. Gerard looked at me and a tiny smile twitched on the side of his mouth.
“Sooo...” he bit his lip and shrugged awkwardly.
“I suppose... maybe we... go to class?" I suggested.
“We still have five minutes.”
“Oh. I suppose,” I said, scratching the back of my head. Gerard giggled quietly, removing his hand from mine and biting his lip.
“Why couldn't you tell me before?"
"Because... well, I mean... I don't know if I could have... if you'd just ignored... Oh, never mind, it doesn't matter."
“Gerard, Gerard, Gerard,” I said, placing my finger on his lips. "It does matter. It matters so much."
"As in, it matters. How you feel, it matters tonnes."
“What do you mean?” he asked. I rolled me eyes incredulously at my best friend, sighing, I leant over from where I perched next to Gerard and oh so gently, tangled my fingers in his hair. He didn't say anything, but just stared right into my eyes. He was frozen on the spot and his lips had formed a tiny 'o', and I was unable to tell if his eyes were telling me a yes or a no.
I shifted round so I was sitting, cross-legged on the bench beside him, and kissed him gently. Gerard was still for another moment, before he responded, taking my face with his hand. The kiss was only a few seconds long, a sweet tickling of butterfly wings, and Gerard pulled away first.
“Hmmmmm?" I rested my head on his chest. Gerard was silent for a few moments.
"I wasn't... wasn't really... expecting that." I didn't say anything, but I smiled into his shoulder. We sat like that for a moment, before in the distance we heard the bell ring.
"We ought to go in," I said quietly.
“Do we have to?”
“Sadly, I think we do,” I said, finally looking into Gerard's hazel eyes.
“Oh yes, I remember. I want to hit Mark in the face,” he said, raising his hand to touch my cheek. "Hard."
"No, it's okay," I said, standing up and pulling him to his feet with me. "I kicked him in the nuts." Gerard chuckled.
"Always thinking ahead, aren't you?"
"You know it. Come on, you moron,” I said, holding out my hand. He stared at my outstretched hand for a moment and interlaced his fingers into mine.
“Yes, asshole,” he said. “I am still allowed to call you that, aren’t I?”
“Sure you can,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“What the...?!” Gerard and I looked around to see Mark standing there, his jaw practically on the ground.
“Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but you’ve kind of just made our year with that ‘rumour’, so would you please leave us in peace?” I asked, snuggling into Gerard’s chest. Mark didn’t say anything, he didn’t come over and hit us, he simply gawped like a goldfish before turning and walking away.
“It’s funny when bullies plans backfire,” said Gerard, grinning into my hair.
“His screams were music to my ears when I kicked him,” I said, giggling. Gerard placed his finger under my chin, lifted my face towards his and kissed me again. Again, it was soft and gentle, caring, nothing more. Almost friendly, which was really ironic in the sense that ten minutes ago, all we had been was friends.
It’s funny what one little piece of paper can do, isn’t it?
This gave me such a fuzzy feeling inside when I wrote this! Yes, it is supposed to be silly and cliche, and fluffy, and so on and so forth. I hope you liked these. Please Rate and Review, please, muchly? xx