Ray's a princess of the Kingdom of Hair and is looking for his prince. Serious WTFness happening here.
Princess Fro Fro was famed for having the best hair in all the land. His fro could defeat dragons and make the strongest men bow at his feet. Of course, Fro Fro never DID defeat any dragons, but computer simulations proved that he could, if the occasion arose. In fact, Fro Fro not only never got to defeat dragons, he was barely allowed to leave the castle. It was said that if he did, hordes of gay men would rush towards him in an attempt to stroke his glorious mane. Because of this fact (which computer simulations again proved true), he was only allowed into his kingdom on official business and to go to the Royal Annual Hair Ball.
Now, the Princess was going on in age (he was twenty-two now), and was ready to be married. Because this kingdom was extremely accepting of non traditional sexual orientation, and Fro Fro had recently come out as gay (not really surprising, considering), the search for a suitable husband began. Fro Fro did not know many men his age, only those who worked in the castle, and none of them had taken any interest in him. Hence, there shall be no pre-existing love in our story.
After much deliberation, it was decided in the tradition set by Cinderella, that the prince would be chosen at the Hair Ball. The one most appealing to Fro Fro would, after the appropriate period of courtship, since marriage is not something to rush, become Fro Fro’s husband. Fro Fro was, of course, quite excited to meet a good looking guy, because hey, even princesses have needs.
On the night of the ball, Fro Fro got dressed in his best party dress, because as previously stated he is a flaming homosexual. As he descended down the stairs, every gay man in the room was drooling over his hair, which had been specially done just for the occasion. Every man knew that this was the princess they had waited their entire lives for, and each hoped their dreams would come true. This would not be possible, of course, as Fro Fro and his family did not support polygamy.
The first order of business was for the princess to take his place in the throne placed at the front of the room, and the men lined up before him to introduce themselves. Each man had two minutes in which to impress the princess. If they appealed to Fro Fro they stepped aside into a special roped off section reserved for “candidates”, to be further interviewed. The first few men to come up were quite boring, and were quickly cast aside. Then a man with shoulder length inky black hair, wonderfully hazel eyes, beautifully applied eyeliner, and an all around good looking body came up to the front of the line.
“My name is Gerard Arthur Way,” he said in a soft, silky voice, “I’m twenty three years of age and I like to sing, draw, and write comic books. I hail from the New Jersey region of the kingdom. I am a bit of a nerd, and love horror movies. I also love bands like Iron Maiden, Morrisey, and David Bowie. My best friend is my younger brother, Mikey. If I was your husband, I would always take care of you, and make sure you were always happy. I hope you consider me as a candidate. It would be a great honor.”
Fro Fro was genuinely impressed by this speech, and could tell that the man in front of him had many more layers underneath. He nodded towards the “candidate” section (he was not allowed to speak until the next stage in the interviewing process), and Gerard threw him a huge grin. Fro Fro felt his heart flutter erratically at that expression of joy, and could tell that he already liked this man.
Several more forgettable men passed by, with a few more candidates being added to the mix, such as Bert, Brendon, Andy, Danny, and Ben.Then along came another amazing looking man, this one short, Italian, and heavily tattooed. His head was shaved and bleached blond on the sides, and longer and black on top, with the bangs curling around one deep hazel eye.
“Good evening, your Highness,” he said, tipping his head slightly in respect, “My name is Frank Anthony Iero. I am from New Jersey, and I am in a band called Pencey Prep that I sing and play guitar in. My guitar is named Pansy, I love dogs, and my favorite band is the Misfits. I am eighteen years old. If I was your husband, I would make you the happiest man on earth. I would help you when you felt down, take care of you when you were sick, and make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before.”
Again, Fro Fro was impressed with this introduction. He directed Frank to the roped off section, and continued down the line. There weren’t many left now, and no more men left much of an impression on the princess. Finally, it was time to start the interviewing.
The princess quickly went through most of the candidates, saving the two he already knew were his favorites for last. These two were, of course, Frank and Gerard. The first of the two interviewed was Frank. Here are the notes of said interview.
Fro Fro: “Hello.”
FF: “How are you?”
F: “Good. I love your dress. It suits your figure quite nicely.”
FF: “Why, thank you. That’s very sweet of you to say, even if it’s not altogether true. [laughs]”
F: “Oh, yes it is true. You look quite lovely, especially your hair. The entire kingdom is jealous.”
FF: “They’re not, but I appreciate the compliment. Now, tell me about your band, Pencey Prep, wasn’t it?”
F: “Oh yes. We are mostly punk rock with a little indie. We have one album released, called Heartbreak in Stereo. I’m not sure what’s next for us though.”
FF: “I take it you quite enjoy what you do though.”
F: “Definitely. I don’t think I could have a real job anymore, especially not with these. [gestures to tattoos on his arms and laughs]”
FF: “I think your tattoos are lovely. They are really a work of art.”
F: “I know. My tattoo artist is wonderful. I really do love her. She always does a fantastic job with it. Best in the kingdom by far.”
FF: “It would seem so. Well, Frank, I really enjoyed talking with you, but my assistant here is telling me I have to move on. I’ll contact you with the results by tomorrow.”
F: “It was quite a pleasure to meet you, Fro Fro, and I am honored to have even been considered to be your husband.”
After Frank had left to rejoin the party, it was Gerard’s turn.
Fro Fro: “Hello, Gerard. How are you tonight?”
Gerard: “Hello, princess. I am quite well, especially since I’m talking to you.”
FF: “Well, I am flattered. But tell me about yourself. You said your brother is your best friend, is that right?”
G: “Yes, he indeed is my best friend. We were raised in a bad neighborhood, and not allowed to go outside and play much. Because of that, we had to spend more time together and became closer than most siblings. I love him dearly.”
FF: “Well, it’s nice to hear that family means a lot to you. Have you ever considered children?”
G: “Seeing as how I’m a gay man the thought hasn’t been too prominent. [laughs] But I would like to possibly adopt someday.”
FF: “I have been thinking along the same lines. But that’s aside from the point at the moment. Tell me, what do you do for a living, Gerard?”
G: “I draw cartoons for PBS Kids. I would like to be in a band one day though. Y’know, get out there and spread a message to all those kids who feel like they have no one.”
FF: “That sounds like a fantastic idea. Y’know, I play guitar.”
G: “Really? Well, my brother plays bass. We should totally all play together sometime. [laughs]”
FF: “Sounds like fun. Do you write any songs?”
G: “Yeah, I have a few written. They’re not much good though.”
FF: “I’m sure they’re fabulous. [assistant whispers in ear] Gerard, I hate to cut this short, but my assistant is telling me it’s time for me to go to bed. The results of decision will be mailed to you as soon as possible.”
The princess stayed up the rest of the night trying to decide between Frank and Gerard. He could not. They were both so sweet and nice, he wanted to date them both. He talked to his father about this, and he reluctantly agreed. Gerard and Frank were quite willing to share the princess, and the three way dating experiment commenced.
There was, of course, much controversy around this relationship. Many objected very openly, but the three lovers did not care. They made their odd courtship work, and were soon married in a Mormon like fashion. Then they had three ways into eternity.
A/N: Just...don't ask where the hell this came from...I am a bizarre child, in case you couldn't tell...R&R maybe? The ending was a bit flat, but hey, YOLO (don't ask how that applies to this situation)