frank... new school really?!? an 11 year old short kid in highschool?!? this cant be good... will anyone help him?
notebook entery 3
notebook number 11
thats what i had almost all night
but then a black winged angel flew through my dreams in search of me and when he found me the man im forced to call father was scared and hid from me and gerard. yes this black wingged angel was him of all people. i dont understand why. maybe it was only gooe timing but he woke me and stayed with me throughout the night.
i cant stop glancing at him from across the table. im sure at this point hes wondering what im writting and what it has to do with him but then a part of me knows he knows the truth about me... about the man in my dream. maybe hes been through the same.it wasnt my fault "father" decided to go afer my sister in his drunken state but point a knife at my family and we have issues.
thats what happened on that day... the day that haunts me in the night. that man was out for blood and when he couldnt catch me he went after my twin sister... i closed my eyes for a moment and she stabbed her... one stabe to the side and after a shuddering scream i was holding his hand gun to his head barral loaded.... i say he didnt get me that day. well hinesty time he did. he got me bad. worse than any other time and i had to run. i never did any of the other times because id see my sister cowering in the corner... i didnt want him to see her weakness.
suddenly frank dropped his pencil on the ground and layed his head on the table with his eyes shut, "no you dont." gerard says jumping across the table and forcing frank to look at him, "no frankie... you have to stay here... with me."
the darkness surrounded us as my mom turned off our bedroom light. i was laying on the bottom bunk with sami above me her sobs heard in every corner of the room so i sat up, climbed in her bed and hugged her, "is this better?"
sh nods and hides her face in my shoulder. the tension in her body slowly washes away as her breathing slow downs. i refuse to let her go until she finally falls asleep.
i hear the front door slam and tence up. i hate doing this but i wake sami and climb out of the bed. i take her arm and side to help her out. like every time i have her sit in the back corner of the closet and close the door. as i sit on the bed waiting to find out dads mood our bedroom door swings open hitting the wall behind it.
"frankie... did you know youve been a bad boy?" he askes his glazed eyes looking me up and down.
i sit still and nod in responce, "i... in trying to change daddy... i really am."
"i know you are." he says sitting next to me, "but sometimes it just takes too long. i have a surprise for you." he hands me a small box with a red bow and i sit it in my lap.
i look up at him surprise mixed with confusion, "daddy... you didnt have to..."
"damn it frank i do one good thing for you and you dont even want the damn thing well fine!!" he begins to yell.
i flinch and try to move away but he grabs my wrist, "im sorry daddy... im sorry... i can be better i promise."
"no! ill teach you to be a better boy!" he pulls me up from the bed and down into the dark basement...
frank stared into gerads eyes with a blank expression on his face, "im so sorry." was all he could get out before looking down at his notebook again, "can... can i have my pencil back?"
"no." gerard answers quickly taking the notebook sliding it into his back pocket, "no more writting for you today pkay frankie? we have to get ready for school."
as gerard walks away frank stares at the notebook in his back poket wonder when he'll ever get it back, "hey! mikey says excitedly, "looking forward to going to school with gee?"
frank snaps his eyes from the notebook to mikey and nods, "yes of course... maybe ill get to see him throughout the day."
"well come on then we need to leave soon... you are changing right?" mikey asks looking at franks messy hair and wrinkled sirt.
"yeah... just a long night." frank answers running to his room, "damn! fuck! what if he reads it?!? no one can read it!!"
as frank rips clothes ou of draws and off hangers theres a knock at the door. as he slowly opens it he sees gerard standing over him. frank quickly opens the door to let him in without saying a word.
"so what was it about?" gerard asked entering the room closing the door behind him, "i know when youre thinking too much. your face goes blank. so tell me... what was it about? tell me and ill give the notebook back." he bribes taking out the notebook, "i didnt read it if thats what youre so worried about."
frank falls on the bed and sighs in releif, "Gerard why are you so concerned? no one else cares that much... im just a kid with a messed up head. theres nothing anyone can do."
"you dont know that." gerard says laying next to him, "has anyone ever tried hard enough?"
frank glances at him with wondering eyes, "well... no but they shouldnt. im a lost cause gerard... everything thats ever happened to me is my fault."
"what happened? you deffended your sister... was it from that man you were talking about last night? what did he do? tell me frank iero." gerard sits up and grabs franks shoulders and jerks him up, "i want to know whats in that head of yours frankie."
as gerard stared into franks eyes franks face began to become blank and he started to whimper, "please dont." was all frank could say staring at gerard.
gerard instantly let go of franks shoulders and hugged him, "im so sorry frankie... please dont tell. i didnt mean o make you remeber." suddenly frank relaxes and hugs gerard back, "better?"
"yeah." frank answered in a whisper, "ill tell you,,, gut right now school." frank stood up from the bed and took gerards hand to help him up, "i trust you... thats all there is to it."
the two of them joined mikey and mrs way in the car and mrs way drove toward the school, "so boys do you plan on explaining yourselves?" with no answer mrs way suddenly swerved to the side of the road and came to a sudden stop, "tell me what happened this morning."
"it was nothing, mom." mikey was the first to speak up even though gerard had opened his mouth to speak and gerard knew their mother would listen and believe mikey, "frankie was just writting and went too deep into thought thats all. gerard helped him... hes been helping him now mom."
mrs way looked back at the two boys who were staring at the floor board of the car, "is this true boys? nothing happened between the two of you?"
gerard nods saying nothing and frank did the same.
"you know... youre lucky its friday... ill believe you for now but thats all." with that said mrs way started the car and drove the rest of the way to the school, "have a good day boys. dont get into anymore trouble gerard."
the boys filed out of the car and into school where they all went their seprate ways. mikey to the middle school and the others to the highschool. as gerard went to his locker frank was left to find his way in the sea of students.
when frank finally found his first class he quickly went to the back the room and sat in a seat furhest from the rest of the class. he began taking out his pen and notebook with high hopes for a quiet day.
notebook entry part 2 entry 3
why the fuck would they put a kid my age with all these big kids and adults?!? i cant believe these fucking people just cant leave me alone! this was their worst idea in the world. why cant they just be like all the other parents and leave me alone at home to learn?!? i was just fine on my own all this time... or maybe they could be like the fucking man i called father and lock me in a fucking closet! damn all these people everyone of them are dumbasses. probly all the kids too! the jocks, preps, cheerleaders... yeah i know all about it. i dont have to be in a fucking school to know how all this shit goes. ill get picked on just like gerard does!! stupid dumb fucks...
on the other hand... maybe theyll stop picking on gerard so much and turn to me instead... at least that could give him a break. cut him some slack from these dumb fucks.
as frank continued to write the head of the football team, a jock named josh, slowly made his way to frank with two of his buddies and grabbed the notebook from in front of frank, "hey whats this we have here?" he calls out dangling the notebook in franks face, "youre new, class hasnt started and youre already writting shit?!?" he begins to flip through the notebook and laughs, "a journal?? youre one of those emo kids who write about their feeli8ngs arent you?!?" he yells in franks face.
frank stays silent looking at the desk, "no answer?!? fine fucker maybe youd like it if i shared are nice stories with the class!"
as josh began to read the teacher approched him and took the notebook, "joshua benson go to the principals office now." the teacher places the notebook in front of frank and leads josh to the door
josh points at frank and smirks, "watch your back kid. youre mine."
when lucnch time finally comes frank goes to the lunchroom and looks around for gerard. when he doesnt find him he begins walking through the school in search of him. as he turns a corner a pair of hands yanks him into a bathroom and another covers his mouth.
as frank struggles he sees joshua and his friends from that morning, "what did i tell you kid? why didnt you watch your back?" josh smirks and punches frank in the stomach.
when frank tries to hold his stomach the two boys holds his arms back, "let me go!" frank cries out as another fist strikes his ribs.
"had enough already?" josh laughs taking out a pocket knife, "it wont hurt for long."
frank stares at the knife and struggles to break free. tears begin to stream down his face as josh puts the knife to his throat, "please! please dont! ill be good! im sorry!" frank yelled trying to pull away.
"oh oh so now youre sorry?? little frankies in trouble so know hes sorry!! you got me two days detention... beg dog... beg like youre my fucking puppy!!"
the boys shoved frank down to his knees and frank looked up at josh, "please dont!" he says backing away staring at the knife." please... please dont do this.."
josh throws a punch to his shoulder and shoves his face to the floor, "dont mess with me puppy, i wont be nice next time."
as frank layed in the floor the three boys smirked and left the bathroom. frank slowly moves into a stall and pulls out his wallet from his back pocket. still holding his breath from the pain he slides a razor from his wallet and makes a red crimson line across his wrist letting out a sigh of releif.
"frankie?" frank stops and stares at the door, "frankie are you in here?" its gerard he can tell. frank slides the razor back in his wallet and unlocks the door, "frank is that you in there?" gerard asks approching the door.
slowly frank stands and looks at gerard blood dripping to the floor, "i... im sorry... i couldnt handle it." frank stutters tears streaming from his eyes.
quickly gerard pulls toilet paper from the roll and presses it to franks wrist and holds him, "its okay frankie... im here now. im sorry. i should have been with you." as the blood seeps through the toilet paper the final lunch bell rings for the students to go to class, "do... do you want to skip with me? we can walk home."
frank nods and stands. gerard quietly takes franks bag and leads the way home. not a world leaving either boys mouths on the way home.
once they arrived gerard, still carrying franks bag, heads down to his room. frank hessitates and follows after his bag still saying nothing. when gerard reaches the botttem of the stairs he turns and looks frank up and down.
"whatd they do to you?" he asks staring into franks defenceless eyes.
frank bites his lip and looks at the ground, "umm... only punched me a few times."
"where?" gerard askes with frustration rising in his voice, "where did they his you frank?"
"the... the stomach." frank stutters out.
quickly gerard lifts franks shirt to see the buises already formed, "lay down."
"what?!?" frank relies in a paniced voice, "no."
gerard grabs his arms and pushes him onto the bed, "i said lay down frankie... when will you listen?"
"dont.. you... you wont hurt me will you?" frank askes watching him closly.
gerard goes to his bathroom and gets a cold wet rag and lays them on franks stomach. frank flinches and stares at gerard, "is that better?" gerard asks looking down at him."
frank nods and swallows hard, "c- can i go to my room now?"
gee shakes his head and lays next to him, "no. you havnt been sleeping and you need it so sleep."
frank turns to get up until gerard closes his eyes and puts his arm over frank forcing him to stay in the bed. frank breathing becomes uneven with panic as he stares at gerard until hes finally forced to fall asleep with exhaustin.
okay guys and gals im so sorry this sections taken so long to write ive been so busy but this story still lives i promise hope you enjoy :)