“Jo? Johanna? I’m guessing you passed out, but honey I am just letting you know I got a flight for tomorrow morning. My flight leaves DIA at 10:00 so 12:00 your time. I have a lay over in Texas for about 3 hours so I should arrive at Newark airport at 7:00 pm your time. I love you see you there” the machine beeps and moves onto the next message it is Chad.
“Johanna, listen I am really sorry. I got out of hand tonight, I know you go to work tomorrow at 8:00 so me and some friends will come by the place and I’ll pack my stuff. I love…sorry habbit. Bye” I sigh and shake my head and wait for the next message. It is Gerard. My heart jumps when I hear his voice
“Hey Johanna, I hope everything is okay, I was just calling to make sure you were okay. I am just assuming it did you got even more drunk and passed out? Call me back tomorrow same number” I smile just hearing his voice. I am snapped out of my daze when I hear the coffee machine beeping.
I go over and pour myself of coffee and feed Pickles. He of course scarfs it down as if he hasn’t been fed for days. I laugh at him. I feel relieved like everything is okay right now. I can finally be who I have always wanted to be.
That day at work is miserable though. I thought I was going to be okay, but my head hurts, clients are being mean, a cat bit me, animals are shitting all over the place, I feel very stressed and I want a drink and a smoke.The one good thing is nobody noticed my face after using almost half a tube of concealer The day finally ends. I didn’t even get a lunch break. Gerard called the office twice but I didn’t call him back because I was so busy and I felt so depressed I didn’t want to call him.
I arrive at the airport to pick up my mom a little after 7:00. I go to the terminal where she is suppose to be and sure enough she is there dressed in her Denver Bronco T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and her hair is shorter. I run up to her and give her a hug. I just feel like crying and I do. She hugs me tight and rubs my back.
“Shh Shh Its going to be okay baby girl I’m here” She coos. I calm my breathing down and pull away and look at her. She gasps.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?! OH THAT BASTARD IS GOING TO PAY!” She yells. She puts her hand up on my cheek and examines it more. “We are going to put ice on this tonight” Not even 10 minutes here and she is babying me, I’ve missed it.
I smile and wipe my tears away and look down at her bags. There are 2 big suitcases.
“Umm mom? How long are you planning to stay?” I ask grabbing one of her bags.
“2 weeks” She says casually. TWO WEEKS?! I love my mom I really do but there is only so much you can take at one time. I sigh and head towards the doors.
We are in the car and heading back home. It is about an hour drive. I reach in between the seats and grab a pack of cigarettes and pull one out.
“No you don’t!” My mom says taking the cigarette and the box from me and throwing it out the window.
“Mom!” I yell
“I will not let you destroy yourself!” She says rolling up the window. I sigh and roll my eyes and pretend it doesn’t faze me, but it does my mouth is watering wanting a drag.
“So am I going to meet this Gerard fellow?” she asks. I sigh at the thought of him. I miss him and it has only been a day. I need to call him, I just cant bring myself to do it, I feel like I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve anyone.
“Um I don’t know” I say honestly
“Well I want to meet him, I want to make sure that the guy you left Chad for is worthy of you”
That is my mom for you, she has always put my up on a pedestal thinking I do wrong.
After an hour of driving and small talk we arrive at my house. This is the first time my mom has been here. We step out of the car and I grab her stuff from the trunk. She looks around and nods.
“This place is so cute! It just needs a little garden. I think I’ll look for flowers to plant here tomorrow” She says examining the yard. My mom is a florist and has been one for the past 30 years. It is probably killing her that I don’t have any plants in my yard or house.
We step inside and it is somewhat empty. Chad did come, he took his Xbox, one TV, some of the pictures, all of his clothes and some towels. I finish going through each room seeing what he took and didn’t take. He left me with most of the good stuff. I walk back into the living room and see my mom is being greeted by Pickles. He is wagging his rope of a tail and giving her kisses.
“Wow he has gotten big! I remember when we got him for you 3 years ago!” She says smiling and laughing at him. I grab one of her bags.
“Come on I’ll show you to the guest room” She grabs her other bag and follows behind me. I put her stuff on the floor of the room and turn on the light. It is a small room it has a bed a dresser and a TV and well, that is it. No pictures no paintings. My mom steps inside and looks around.
“Kind of boring isn’t it?” She asks. I shrug .
“I think I might put some pictures up in here and a potted plant.” She walks around the room and inspects it.
“Whatever makes you happy mama” I say going up to her and giving her a hug. She pats my back and pulls away.
“I just want to make you happy this trip hun. I know this is hard on you but we will have fun. I’ll cook your favorite meals, I’ll take you shopping anything to keep your mind busy baby girl” She moves a piece of my hair behind my ear and I smile. I am just about to answer her when the doorbell goes off and Pickles starts barking. I walk out of the room and to the front door, and look through the peep hole. It is Gerard. He is looking down at his feet. I get butterflies and smile at the sight of him. I grab Pickles by the collar and open the door. He steps in and smiles at me. I lead Pickles to the back door and put him out. Gerard follows. I turn around and run into Gerard. He smiles his half smile at me pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around him feeling at ease. I take in his smell again and hug him tighter.
“You didn’t answer my calls, I came by after I knew you got off of work and you weren’t here.I was so fucking worried about you” He says kissing the top of my head I get chills. I pull away from his hug and look up at him.
“What the hell happened to your face?! He did this didn’t he?! If I ever see him again I swear…” I cut him off.
“I was really busy at work today and I went to go pick up my m-“ But I am interrupted by my mom.
“You must be Gerard” She says stepping into the kitchen. Gerard and I turn to her. Her arms are crossed and she is looking Gerard up and down.
“Gerard, this is my mother” I say. He looks at me then back at her.
“Nice to meet you” He says offering his hand. My mom reluctantly takes it. She doesn’t like him. She looks at him like he is an insect that must be killed immediately.
“Nice to meet you too Gerard. Do you always dress like this?” She says pointing out the holes in his pants.
“Mom, in case I forgot to tell you Gerard is in a rock band called My Chemical Romance. They have a record deal and everything!” I say hoping that helps but it doesn’t.
“mhhhmm. Any back up plans?” She asks. Looking him over again.
“Yeah I am also an artist” He says in a nervous tone. The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it. I could really use a drink but I know that will not happen with my mother awake.
“Oh well that is nice” She says easing up. I sigh and so does Gerard. “You love my daughter? Because if you are just trying to get into her pants that is a failed mission mister!” She asks. I cough.
“Well mom you must be tired and a little delusional from the flight and altitude change, why don’t you head to bed and we can have this conversation in the morning?” I say walking up to her and leading her towards the guest room.
“Well alright, I suppose I am a bit cranky. I’m sorry Gerard I’d love to talk with you more once I am well rested, why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow? I am making lasagna” I turn around and look at Gerard and give him the ‘you don’t have to come’ look. He nods and just smiles at me.
“I’d love to” I give him a glare and he just laughs. I give my mom a kiss on the cheek and send her back into the room. Once I hear the door close I go up to Gerard just as I am about to yell at him he pushes his lips on mine and my mind goes blank. I close my eyes and kiss him back passionately. We make out for about 5 minutes then I pull away and look at him. We both have huge smiles on our faces.
“That was awesome” He says. I nod in agreement.
“yes it was, but what the hell was that! I gave you a look and you went on ahead and said yes to dinner tomorrow!” I step away from him and cross my arms.
“Oh that look? I thought that was a ‘please come over and win over my mother ‘ look” he says sarcastically. I roll my eyes.
“Wanna go have a smoke?” he asks pulling out a box. I nod and go over to the fridge and pull out a bottle of vodka and head out the front door.
I begin drinking from the bottle ignoring the bitter taste in my mouth. Gerard hands me a lit cigarette and I take it alternating between smoking and drinking. Eventually I am really drunk and feel no pain or no worries just me and Gerard.
“Here youwantsome” I say slurring and handing the bottle over to Gerard. He shakes his head no.
“No, I need to drive home, plus I am already pretty high” he says taking another smoke. I love that he is just as messed up as me. That he makes me feel the way I do. That I can be myself around him without any walls.
I lean against him and watch a stray cat wondering the street.
“Do you have to work tomorrow?” He asks blowing out smoke.
“Yeah just ahalfday. Wednesday andFridays are half days*hiccup*”
“Meet me after work okay? SOBER. I want to talk to you about some stuff” I lean back up and wabble a bit.
“Stuff whatkindofstuff?” I ask.
“Good stuff nothing bad don’t worry sweetie” He says placing his hand on my knee. I go numb again and smile.
“Let me help you to bed okay?” He stands up and reaches for my arms and pulls me up. I balance up against him and we walk inside he leads me to the bedroom and I fall on the bed my head spinning. He takes off my shoes and puts me under the covers.
“Letpicklesin! *hiccup*” I tell him. He nods and gives me a kiss my lips.
“Sleep good, I’ll see you tomorrow” He walks out of the room and I go to sleep.