Gerard is feeling quite delirious and has a nerd out, thinking over him and Frank.
Chapter Nine- Early Sunsets over Belleville
My eyes flutter open and I sit up, my vision blurry. I rub my eyes and look around me, trying to figure out where I am. Why the fuck am I in the bathroom? Then I spot the blood covering the floor and remember what happened....
"Are you fucking kidding me? It didn't work?" I stand up abruptly, only to fall back down into the bathtub. Rubbing the lump that's forming on my head, I scramble my way out and pick up my phone from the sink. My eyes widen when I see the time. '03:54' Shit, I slept for a long time. That's the longest I've slept for in ages! If you can even call passing out sleeping...
Picking my shirt up, I look into the mirror. A feeling of triumph overcomes me when I see my stomach. Deep red gashes that are still dripping blood. Looks like I can do something right after all. Not wanting to be in unbearable pain all day, I pull out my first aid box of bandages and shit. I wrap a bandage around my middle, fastening it with a saftety pin. Making sure the bandage is on properly, I pull my shirt over my head. This action causes me to wince in unbelievable agony, and I let out a small whimper. Shit, I'd forgotten about my arms, they still haven't healed properly. I pick my jacket up before walking back into my room, planning on attempting to get more sleep. Not bothering to get changed, I flop down on top of my bed covers and just lay there.
It's been about half an hour, and I'm about as close to falling asleep as I am to becoming the most popular guy in school. Fuck, I hate insomnia. It fucks up everything even more than it already is.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, bastard, shit, fucking, wanker, arse hole, prick, bollocks, wanker twat, and pissing hell!" I say in a sing song voice. Yes. This is have I have been reduced to. Singing curse words in the early hours of the morning because I am still. Fucking. AWAKE! I mean, why can't I be like other normal people? They all have nice long hours of sleep in their beds. Their beds are comforting to them, whereas mine is the enemy. It taunts me, waving it's comfort in my face, knowing full well that I can't use it properly. What the fuck am I saying, it's a bed! It doesn't think! Jesus, my mind is being really weird. Maybe I hit my head when I fell to the floor.
I need coffee.
At that random thought, I drag myself off the bed, only to notice that my white shirt now has a dirty great blood stain on it. Shiiiiiit. I shuffle over to my wardrobe, pick out the first thing my hand touches and yank it over my head. While walking over to my staircase, I pull my jacket on haphazardly, still in a bit of a daze. When I reach the bottom of the stairs I stop, just looking up at them and wishing that they would turn into an elevator or something. With a loud groan, I stomp up the stairs slowly, each step making a loud thud. I reach the top and open my door, only for my feet to be attacked by a mess of Anthrax t-shirt, skinny jeans and glasses.
"..... Umm... Hey Mikey."
He shoots up and looks around, still half asleep. "Wha-? Gee?"
"Yes Mikey?" He blinks a few times and rubs his eyes.
"Where have you been?" He looks mega confused right now.
"Umm.. I've been in my room the whole time. Now would you care to explain why you are sitting outside my room like a creeper?" I put my hand on my hip. Sure, it looks camp but I'm kind of still annoyed from earlier... or yesterday even. Anyway, has he never heard of a thing called privacy?
"I banged on your door for hours, and you never answered. I fell asleep waiting for you to come out." He looks so innocent and upset, rubbing his eyes sleepily and giving a huge sniff. The sight is so adorable that my annoyance turns to guilt.
"I was asleep with my iPod in, I didn't hear you."
"Gee, you never sleep for that long. Are you sure you're okay? You look kinda pale... Well, paler than usual, anyway." I glare at him for the last comment.
"M'fine, Mikes. God, you are always checking up on me like I'm some sort of retarded child! I am capable of looking after myself you know!" Mikey looks a bit hurt by my outburst.
"I... I just thought that I would come and see how you were after what happened earlier... And I, er... I wanted to apologize. I had no right to pry."
"Really? You're apologizing? Well... I accept your apology. But do you promise to stop interfering as much?" He opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it again.
After finding the right words, he says "Deal. But only if you tell me where you are when you leave school. Just text me so I don't go out of my mind with worry every day!"
I smile sheepishly. "Yeah... Sorry about that. Deal." He breathes a sigh of relief.
"Thank the lord!!!" He raises his arms to the sky dramatically. "Now, I'm going to bed before I end up with serious stiff neck, or worse, spinal damage." Man, that reminded me of Hermione... He sets off toward the stairs, leaving me thinking about the Philosopher's stone.
"Night Mikey, sweet dreams."
He yawns. "Yeah, yeah." And he disappears up the staircase.
When I hear Mikey's bedroom door close, I step fully out of my own bedroom and walk into the kitchen. Of course, the first thing I do is make myself some coffee. It's weird, I feel so happy whenever I even think about coffee. Gots ta haves me some COFFEE!!! I get out my special batman coffee flask and hoist myself up on the kitchen side, waiting for the coffee maker to do its job. I think about what to do in the early hours of the morning. I could try and go to sleep, but I know that's hopeless so I don't know what to do. Normally I go for a walk to the park at times like this, but it's pissing it down with rain outside so that's out of the question. I suppose I could watch a movie.
With my now made coffee, I amble into the lounge and over to the massive DVD collection. Nightmare On Elm Street... Classic, but no. Saw... Yawn. The Exorcist... No. The Ring... Awesome, but I've watched it so much. I've seen all of these movies so many times!!!!! I take one last look over the DVD's and I'm about to turn away when I see the perfect choice.
"Oh, Fuck yes!!!"
I grab the DVD off the shelf and shove it into the DVD player. As I wait for the title screen to come on I drink my coffee in small sips. Man, I love me my coffee. I love coffee, and coffee loves me.... Okay, this insomnia is getting irritating now, I'm going delirious from the lack of sleep. I shake my head to clear my mind, when the title screen shows up.
"Fucking FINALLY!" I groan.
I hum along to the theme tune of Harry Potter when the film starts. Yes, Harry Potter, it's an amazing film. Much better than that Twilight crap. It's the seventh film, part one of course. The best one in my opinion. The opening scenes really annoy me though, they leave such an important bit out! It was so much better in the book when Harry and Dudley had a little heart to heart. But Noooo, they just HAD to miss that out of the film. Jerks...... I really need to get a life.
What can I say? Reading books and watching films is a time where I'm at my happiest. They give me a chance to escape reality, and step into another world- yes it sounds cheesy as fuck, but it's true. Plus, JK Rowling is an actual genius, she's the mastermind behind the phenomenon that is Harry Potter.
By the time I've finished my inner rant about Harry Potter, it's almost about 20 minutes into the film. I just sit back and enjoy the wizarding world, wishing I could be there. Hell, I want to be anywhere but in this life. I look up at the ceiling, still proceeding to recite the dialogue word for word and just letting my mind wander. I manage to put myself into a sleep like state, although I'm still not fully asleep, just in a deep daydream. I come to my senses and lift my head back up, to find the film on one of my favourite parts.
Harry and Hermione are on their own after Ron threw a bitch fit at Harry and stormed off. They're just sitting in the tent listening to the radio, nothing special really. A happy song starts to play and Harry offers to dance with her. They look like they have so much fun together and when I first saw this film, I actually thought they were going to change the storyline to make Harry and Hermione get together. But the song ends and they return to their original positions. That was when I realised what it's really trying to show us. It's reminding us of their friendship. They've been through so much together and you sometimes forget what good friends they actually are. That's why it's my favourite part, because of the beauty and strength of their friendship. It's what I want from life, a friend that sticks by me, no matter what. I'll never have that though, people just don't like me.
Although, I have to admit I don't really make it easy for them. Sure, no one has ever been nice to me before, but even now I can't be nice to people. I mean, look at Frank. He's been so nice to me the past couple of days, and I've just been acting like such an ass. Even after I snapped at him and walked away from him numerous times, he still came back for more. He told me her cares about me, which I've never had before, and it felt nice. But of course, I had to ruin that by having a fit and storming off. Why is he still trying? He's such a nice guy... Really kind and he seems genuinely interested in being my friend....
I've made a decision. The next time I see Frank, I'm going to have a proper conversation with him. No storming off like a child and no getting pissy with him if he asks a question. Just me and him, a normal conversation.... God, I can't do that. I'll end up making a fool of myself, or upsetting him in some way. But I have to do this. It's the only way I'll get to know Frank more. Yes. I'm going to talk to Frank. I look up.
"Aw, man! The movie's over?" I exclaim as I see the final scenes of Voldemort stealing the Elder wand. "It won't work for you, bitch!" I shout at the TV.
I take the DVD out of the player and put it back on the shelf, before returning to the kitchen to make myself yet another cup of coffee. I think I'm addicted to it, I can't go more than an hour without a cup, hence the reason I'm practically failing school. Damn cafeteria, with no coffee machine. I look out the window and see it has stopped raining, and the sky is getting gradually lighter, the colours turning pink and glowing. It's at that moment when I come to realise something strange. I haven't had any negative thoughts or urges in hours. That's like a new record. I'd almost completely forgotten about passing out in my bathroom and all my scars. Almost. But still, it's been nice not being negative all the time. I might have to try that some more, although I do think it's because I recieved a knock to the head. It's sent me a bit crazy.
After another couple of minutes of looking at the pink sky, I walk outside and sit on the little bench. Sipping my coffee, I sit there for ages just watching the beautiful sight of the sunrise, thinking about how today is the day I'm going to talk to Frank Iero properly.
God, I hope I don't make myself look like a noob.
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