Gerard returns after his little 'episode' And of course, another argument starts...
Chapter 11- Somebody I Used To Know
The rest of Saturday passed uneventfully, and I'm now lying on my bed on a Sunday evening, preparing myself for the horrors of hell tomorrow. Actually, I think I'd rather go to hell than that place. Tomorrow, I leave the peaceful(ish) weekend behind and start a new week of torture. Each day I'm paranoid, because I never know when they're next going to attack. Sure, they throw a few punches now and then, but that isn't enough for them to get the thrill they need. They always wait for when I least expect it before jumping me. That's their way of getting to me. They leave me paranoid all week, wondering if that day will be the day that I'll get a pounding, or if it's the next day. It's clever really, but it makes life even worse. Sometimes I can't handle the suspense of it all, so I just leave school, but they find me eventually.... They always do.
At least I have science tomorrow with Frank. Maybe he'll talk to me, help me keep what's left of my sanity. Although he probably doesn't want to speak to me after what happened on Saturday. I know it was a stupid overreaction, but Mikey really did scare me. For a second, he wasn't my brother, he was one of THEM. He was part of the group that corner me and beat me. Of course, I know that Mikey would never do that to me, but my mind just flipped in that split second, I just had to get out of there.
I ran as fast as my stumpy little legs could carry me. My legs were burning with pain, but I couldn't stop for what seemed like hours. I finally deemed myself far enough away from everything so I stopped running, and allowed my lungs to recover. It was a fairly nice day, so I sat down in the shade in a nearby field, just waiting the day out. I only started heading back when I could see the darkness of the night looming in the distance, because I knew my mom would be going out of her mind with worry. When I got home my mom wasn't there and I found out that she was out looking for me. I felt so guilty. After a phone call from Mikey she got home in ten minutes, tears streaming down her face.
"Gerard, don't you do that to me again, EVER!" She screamed hysterically, running over to hug me.
"I'm sorry, mom."
"Just don't okay?" She pulled back and rested her hands on my cheeks. In a softer, less hysterical voice, she carried on. "Do you want dinner? I saved you some." Even though Mikey was facing away from us I could see his head tilt towards the sound, waiting for my answer. Don't you dare say anything, Michael...
"No, I'm not hungry, I'm just gonna go to bed." My mom just sighed, but nodded. Mikey however, stormed angrily up the stairs, and the sound of his bedrooom door slamming was out of place in the now silent house. I smiled at my mom one last time before I went downstairs into my bedroom, locking the door safely behind me.
Last night was not a fun time... And today has been no better. Mikey wouldn't talk to me at all this morning. He needs to get over it, it isn't his problem and it's no reason to start ignoring me. I decide to go back upstairs and see if he'll talk to me. I don't want my baby brother to hate me.
When I get up to the living room, Mikey is sat on the couch watching a film. I walk into the room, taking a seat on the other couch. There's a long moment of silence while I try and build up the confidence to speak.
"Mikey? Are you still mad?" I say in a quiet voice, not wanting my Mom to hear. Mikey's fists clench but other than that, he shows no signs of having heard me. I'm just about to give up and go back downstairs when he finally replies.
"Why would I be mad Gerard?" He says sarcastically. "Is it maybe because I have an older brother who is basically killing himself?" I shush him.
"Mikey! Keep your fucking voice down!" I look over my shoulder to see if my Mom heard.
"Oh, please. She already knows what you do to yourself." Shit.
"Oh, yeah? What's that then?" I feign cockiness, but my heart is currently having palpitations. How much does she know? My hands flick up to my sleeves.
"She knows you starve yourself, everybody who meets you can see that." I let out an internal sigh of relief, and an exasperated external one.
"Mikey, I'm fine, believe me. I don't even know where you got that idea from, it's complete bullshit." He glares at me.
"Oh, is that so, huh?" His tone is venomous. "Then why don't we go and fix you a nice big meal for dinner?" He gets up and walks past, only to be stopped by me pulling on his sleeve.
"Mikey, why are you doing this?" I try and hide the lone tear that falls, but I know he spots it. His facial expression softens a little bit, but he's still pissed.
"Why am I doing this? You're the one that's hurting others Gerard, not me! If anything, I'm doing the right thing. I'm the one who's stupid enough to try and help a fucking lost cause." His words sting, and I let it show on my face.
"If you think I'm such a lost cause, then why do you even bother?" His gaze burns into my skin.
"Why do I BOTHER?" The tone in his voice is deathly quiet, and very menacing. Face red, he starts shouting at me. "Why do you fucking think?! You. Are. My. Brother!!! That's what brothers do, they help each other! Just think about that before you start questioning people. People care about you, I care about you. But you know what? I don't even know who you are anymore, Gerard. Because you sure as hell aren't the brother I used to know." And without waiting for a response he gives me one last look of distaste and turns on his heel, walking away from me.
"Mom, I'm going out, I'll see you later." A few seconds later I hear the front door slam. Fuck.
My Mom pops her head out of the kitchen door, but I just brush past her, heading down into my hovel. Locking the door behind me, I stomp down the stairs, already removing my jacket and shirt. I leave the jacket at the bottom of the stairs, toss the shirt on my unmade bed and I walk into the cold, light bathroom, blade in hand and bolt the door.
Does he not get it? Does he seriously not get how much this is hurting my Mom and I? He's destroying himself in front of us, and he sees nothing wrong with his actions. He just thinks we're being selfish, I can see it in his eyes. Everytime I mention anything to him he looks at me accusingly, as if I'M the one who's in the wrong. Not fucking likely. I know I promised him that I'd look after him but I just can't take it anymore. I know what the outcome is going to be and I don't want to be there to see all the pain and misery it causes.
I had to get out of the house then, otherwise I would've done something that I'd come to regret. If I hadn't left when I did, I would have ended up forcing him to strip in front of the mirror and keep him there until he sees what he really looks like. And no, it's not perverted, he just needs SOMEONE to do it otherwise the problem is never going to go away.
I have to get my mind away from Gerard, so I do the first thing that comes into my head. Ray...
I get my phone out from my pocket and dial the froman's number. He answers after the fourth ring.
"Hello?" Comes a posh british accent.
"Oh.. Hello. Is this Ray's phone?" I swear I punched in the right number.
"No dear Mikey, I don't know this Ray fellow." Oh... Shit.
"Oh, okay then, sorry to bo- HEY! Ray!" I hear laughing on the other end.
"Yeah you got me, how did you know it was me?"
"You said my name, dumbass. That was an epic accent by the way."
"I know right? I'm just that good." I snort, His ego is so big.
"Yeah.. course you are."
"So, what did you want?" Oh yeah, I forgot to ask him.
"I know it's short notice, but can I come over to yours?"
"Of course, man. Bob's here too... You okay?" I can hear the concern in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just don't really wanna be at home right now."
"Well, just come over whenever you want. Ooh!!! Bring Frankie too!" I hadn't thought of that.
"Okay, thanks so much Ray." I start walking in the direction of Frank's house.
"Dude, you don't even have to ask to come over, you're like a brother to me. Brothers don't have to ask permission for anything. You should know that by now!"
"You mad 'bro?" I just had to say it. (A/N It was just too tempting, I'm sorry :P)
"I ain't even mad." We both start laughing. "Dude, just hurry your scrawny ass up and get here soon, we wanna watch a movie."
"Okay, okay. I'll just stop by Frank's and I'll see you in about 10 minutes. Bye!"
"'Froman, OUT!" Sometimes, I swear he's weirder than me.
By the time I've put my phone back in my pocket I'm at Frank's house. I walk up to the front door, which is covered in black paint that's kind of faded and chipped around the edges. Raising a finger to the doorbell, I ring it once, the shrill noise breaking the silence around me. There is a shuffling sound on the other side and I hear a woman shout.
"Hold on a second!" A few minutes later the door opens, only for me to be greeted by a slightly disheveled looking woman. She looks confused. "Yes? How can I help you?" She asks with a warm smile.
"Uhh, I'm Mikey. Frank's friend? Is he home?" Her smile widens.
"Oh, yes, come on in. I've heard a lot about you Mikey." It's my turn to smile now.
"Oh, really? All good I hope?" I say with a cheeky grin.
"Of course." We're interrupted by Frank coming down the stairs.
"Hey, mom, do you have my- Mikey! Hi..." He looks happy to see me, but also confused.
"Hey Frankie-boy, I was just on my way over to froman's house. Do you wanna come with?" His eyes light up.
"Sure, give me like two minutes." I hear the sound of his quick and heavy footsteps on the stairs as he rushes out of the room.
"So, Mrs Iero, how are you liking Jersey?" She seems happy that I've actually started a conversation with her.
"Oh, call me Linda, please. And, well, I haven't really had a chance to see the place yet because I've been stuck with all the unpacking. I'm nowhere near finished."
"I could help you with that if you want?"
"Oh, no. I couldn't let you do that." Frank re-enters the kitchen, wearing black skinnies and a Misfits T-shirt. Nice choice... "Now, you boys go have fun, I'll see you later." After giving Frank a peck on the cheek, she gives him a gentle shove toward the door.
"Bye, Linda!" I hear her say goodbye in return before Frank slams the door, turning to smirk at me.
"Kiss-ass." I feign shock.
"What, me? What can I say... Parents love me! I'm the perfect child!" I bat my eyelashes at him before twirling off ahead like a ballerina, turning in circles as I walk.
"Yeah, the perfect retard more like." His words make me stop in my tracks, swivelling round to glare at Frank, arms folded.
"I resent that!" He just chuckles and slaps me lightly on the cheek before sauntering past me.
"You can resent it all you want, but it ain't gonna stop it from being true."
So... Good? Bad? Terrible? Sorry if it didn't make sense but I wrote this at night and I was really tired... Please leave a rate/review- You'll get a Skittles chocolate bar!!! (They should so make one of those...)