Like father like son, huh?
Ryan fucked him over on writing the song due tomorrow, so he decides to work on it before going downstairs to his family. His computer barely wants to cooperate, but he manages to finish it in about a half hour. The song… means something. It’s something Brendon mostly wrote, Ryan giving tips and tricks to make it sound better and improve different parts, but the initial notes were all Brendon.
Brendon came up with different parts, starting slow and sweet and working into a rough climax, then working back down.
He laughs to himself.
The rough climax was inspired by Ryan being a douche bag.
He saves the song onto the flashdrive after listening to it repeatedly, then placing it on his desk and putting his clothes on, and then putting the flash in his back pocket to ask Earl what he thinks. He is working today, and so is Ryan.
Greeting his family in the morning is fine, his dad talks to him with simple “good mornings”. It hasn’t been that great ever since the night he told him he was gay and they would kick him out.
Of course his parents don’t mean it. They love him, but it’s… hard. Brendon hasn’t figured out how much they care for him truly.
“Morning Bden,” his dad says from behind his paper, “what you up to today?”
“I’m going to work soon.” He says, picking at the pancakes his mom put in front of him.
“You got a job? That’s great.” His dad lowers the paper, smiling somewhat.
“Aw, good for you!” His mom chimes in.
“Yeah, for a music store. My boss isn’t too bad either.”
“Good. Your mother and I have dealt with horrible bosses before.”
They laugh as they go on in conversation, Brendon putting away his plate and grabbing his skateboard.
His dad points to his own head, Brendon sighing and getting out his helmet and heading out the door.
“Bye Bren! Love you!” His mom chimes. Brendon stops as his eyes widen, never expecting those words to come out of her mouth again. But they just did, and he doesn’t know if he should believe it.
Brendon gets to the store, skateboard and helmet in his arms as Earl shows him the backroom to put his things.
“And here’s where water and stuff is, if you get thirsty. Ryan almost got dehydrated so I make sure to keep some. There are a lot of packs of cleaning wipes for when you clean the counter.”
“No problem,” Brendon nods, not talking much.
“If you need me I’m usually behind the register, and Ryan’s usually here to help but he’s coming in a bit. I had you come in earlier to show you around.”
“Please keep from the shenanigans, I honestly want to keep this place rated G. Your little friends yesterday—“
“No problem sir it won’t happen again.” Brendon smiles apologetically.
“Earl. Call me Earl. Welcome to the Off Beat family.”
Brendon can only smile, him getting out of the room with the cleaning supplies, wiping off the counters and glass.
Ryan walks in with his shoulders slumped, which is a new usual for him so Brendon just continues working.
Ryan mostly helps the customers make wiser decisions on warranties and various things while Brendon is stuck setting up displays.
“You can’t expect to do much on your first day, you know.” Ryan explains, making Brendon jump and pieces of a guitar stand almost falling from his hand.
“I do know. I finished our song, by the way.”
“Can I hear it during break, maybe?” Ryan asks hopefully. He really did want to know how it turned out.
Once break comes along they ask Earl to use his piece of crap laptop to listen to the song. They were allowed to do so if Earl could also hear it.
Brendon plays it anxiously, practically biting the bottom of his lip off.
Ryan’s jaw is dropped along with Earls. The song has many different instruments, incorporating different styles and parts, but Ryan swears his heart stops at a piano part.
It’s something that the computer didn’t put together, he couldn’t tell until he heard it. He knew it wasn’t because the program only let you use one note at a time for each instrument, and this was way more.
It was beautiful, the part completely different from all the rest until it fades out. Brendon smiles at this part, thinking about when he wrote this after he met Ryan.
He wouldn’t dare tell him that though.
It finishes, Brendon only waiting for their responses.
“It was…” Ryan begins, his mouth a bit dry.
“Great!” Earl beams enthusiastically. “Now we got to get back to work.”
They’re all silent as they return to their things, Brendon feeling rather distraught considering he didn’t get Ryan’s opinion. Whatever.
“Hey,” Ryan says from behind him.
“Can we… talklater.” Ryan rushes.
Brendon nods, not turning around as Ryan leaves.
They waited until their shifts end to go stand by Ryan’s car. Ryan looking nervous. He knows what he’s going to say, and he has an inner struggle to say it.
“We are nothing.” Ryan whispers. Brendon looks at Ryan for a long moment, processing what he said and turning away from him, walking normally. Yeah, his skateboard is in his arms, but he doesn’t think he can maintain a good balance right now.
Ryan gets into the car, some tears in his eyes as his cell phone rings. He clears his voice before answering, “Hello?”
“Ryan! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the movies with us tonight! Everyone’s going, you should too.” Scott asks.
“Um…” Ryan stops, thinking about Scott’s little secret.
“Don’t tell me you’re working.”
“I have a lot of shit to do tonight, that’s all. Homework and shit.”
“We all do, man. Come on! We need our sarcastic asshole.”
“Funny, fine, alright.”
“Be at the theatre at eight!” The line goes dead.
Ryan leans against his window, biting his lip. So… he was a bit cruel.
But honestly, he can’t do it.
Brendon lies in his room, his guitar on his left and finished homework on his right as he stares at the ceiling.
So today was a bit of a bust.
Forget about it. Forget him.
But for some reason every time they try to do that they end up back to where they were.
Brendon doesn’t quite understand the tension. They only have kissed, just a harmless kiss. Then everything kept being shitty and… the rest is history.
He can’t help but think to cut. Just harmless little incisions on his chest.
It’s not like he’ll die from it.
And he feels better when he does it.
Nobody’s exactly there to stop him.
Well, his parents are gone at church discussing god and whatnot.
Brendon pulls at his drawer, finding a blade that looks mostly clean.
He goes into his bathroom and rips off his shirt, frowning at his overall appearance, but
overall he doesn’t give a shit anymore.
He grabs a towel and bites on it as he starts.
He runs a few cuts down his chest, holding back slight tears because his eyes deceive him.
He doesn’t cut too deep; it is his chest overall. But they are scars that will last.
He stares at the blood running down, and he starts to feel horrible for what he’s done as he pulls the towel from his mouth and gets in the shower, waiting for all the blood and tears to eventually stop flowing.
It’s not because he’s in that bad of pain from the cuts, it’s just because… well, he’s not entirely sure.
Brendon rolls up into the covers, praying that there is a possibility of having no school tomorrow. (Because snow days are possible in Nevada.)
Maybe he’ll get lucky and the school will have a fire or something.
The next morning isn’t all too great for Ryan considering he stayed up way to late working on homework he didn’t do.
He kind of regrets going to see that dumbass movie.
Ryan has to fight from thinking about Brendon. Why does he half to talk in his sleep? How can he control it?
He thanks his mind for completely fucking him over.
The hallways are full, considering first period starts soon as he sees Brendon standing with this head against his locker, trying to maintain his breathing.
He assumes he just went for a run or something as he stands a few feet away.
Brendon holds his stomach, trying to fight the pain as his head rests on his locker.
He doesn’t know what has got him, but something sure has. It’s not a feeling like he’s going to throw up, but he feels a dizziness and unsteadiness that makes him want to pass out. He feels light headed even more as he steps back, struggling as his legs give out and so does his consciousness.
Ryan’s eyes widen as he reaches to catch him, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly.
“Shit, Brendon!” A familiar blonde girl says from behind Ryan.
“I got him… um… I’ll take him to the nurse I guess.”
“Please do.” She stares at him with a worried face as the bell rings.
People start to clear the halls, looking at Ryan strangely has he has to explain what happened because Brendon looks dead.
He really does look dead.
Ryan rushes to the nurse, “Get 911 or something, now!” Ryan expression falls as he breathing intensifies, realizing he’s holding about his weight.
“Wow,” the nurse says, putting her hand on Brendon’s head “let me dial.”
Brendon was severely dehydrated. Ryan stands in the waiting room worried and pissed. He couldn’t get himself to leave though.
Honestly? Is it that hard to drink water?
Right now he can only wait for Brendon to come out with replenished electrolytes and body fluid.
Brendon walks out into the room, seeing Ryan. “You need a ride back?”
Ryan nods, “You should drink more water.”
“Message received.” Brendon rolls his eyes.
“Why didn’t you? I mean don’t you get thirsty? Funny, Earl will totally bitch at you for this.”
“Knock it off or you’ll be stranded here.” Brendon snaps.
Ryan stops talking as they exit; thinking about how worried he was for Brendon back at the school when he didn’t know what was going on.
This is not good.
The ride home is silent, Brendon pulling up to Ryan’s house. Ryan moans to see that his dad is home, feeling slightly nervous.
“Uh,” Brendon says, looking at the driveway.
“Can you drop me off at Spencer’s” Ryan practically begs.
“Spencer’s staying after for jazz band…”
“Just… I can’t deal with him right now.” Ryan covers his face with his hands, climbing out of the car.
“Hey, wait,” Brendon says, thinking about Ryan’s dad, “come back. I mean… he might—“
“I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t sound that convincing.”
Ryan keeps walking and enters the large house, hearing his dad walk around. He isn’t drunk, not much alcohol is in his system.
“Hey Dad,” Ryan carefully whispers as he walks into the kitchen.
His dad is quiet, staring down at the counter with a piece of paper in front of him. “Hi,”
“I’m going to go to the library to work on a project, if that’s okay with you.”
“It’s fine.” He continues to stare at the paper.
Ryan begins to walk out, “Ryan?”
“This came in the mail for us… from your mom. You should read it.” He hands it and an envelope to him, patting him on the back.
He walks out to Brendon’s car, staring at the note without actually reading it. Its hand written, a large and curly writing signifying his mom’s.
Brendon is silent as Ryan begins reading the letter. Tears well up into Ryan’s eyes as he continues reading the note that has a picture of his mother and him in the hospital on 8-30-1986.
He stays silent as he cries.
“Dear Ryan, (and George)
I’m writing this to tell you that by the time this is sent I have passed away. In 2000 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, them only giving me three months to live. I managed to outdo that time, but I feel myself getting weaker and I know I’ll lose this battle.
For Ryan, I want you to have this picture I took with me when I… left. I want to let you know that I really do love you, even though it doesn’t seem like that. I been thinking about it for a while and you have been one of the best things to happen to me, and I hope you grow up being the successful and strong man I know. The point has been made that I failed as a mother figure, but I hope you will one day forgive me. I love you.
For George, I’d like to thank you for raising our son. I know he is up to amazing things and will be a great human being. Thank you so much, I love you too.
Ryan is full out crying at this point, Brendon staring at him with concern. “Ryan?” Brendon puts his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, Ryan shrugging it off.
“Let’s just… go home. My house, I mean.”
Ryan stares out of the window, resting his head on it as he tries to even out his breathing. He never really got to say bye to his mom, he remembers waking up one day to her gone and that was that.
They get out of the car and head to Brendon’s room, Ryan feeling weird because he’s never been in his house before. No one else is home though, both of his parents working late during the week.
“What happened?” Brendon asks, sitting in his desk chair as Ryan sits on the bed. “Tell me.”
“I know, so tell me.”
“My mom left when I was younger… she I guess got someone to send the note after she died… of breast cancer.”
“Is it really?”
“Yup.” Ryan whispers.
“So why did you stay at the hospital?”
Ryan is quick to think, “I didn’t want to go the rest of the day, especially music class since I don’t have the song.”
“Oh,” Brendon pauses, “want to watch a movie or something?”
“Not really.” He wouldn’t actually mind one.
“Are you hungry?”
“No.” Ryan’s lying.
They sit in silence, Ryan looking down at the floor. Brendon swears he sees tears drop from Ryan’s eyes but he knows Ryan would probably deny it.
“You’re usually a really good liar,” Brendon whispers, “you’re not as tough and mean as you try to be.”
“Stop,” Ryan bites, staring right at Brendon.
“Are you ever actually honest with people? I know you’re lying to me half of the time.” Brendon breathes, “I see right though you.”
“Stop with the interrogation!” Ryan practically yells. “I-I want to go home.”
“Hey,” Brendon moves over to Ryan. “I’m sorry, okay? But I don’t exactly see why I’m the one apologizing here.”
Ryan swallows hard until he can find something to say. “Everything is—“ his breathing is ruffled, his mind barely working, “not… good.”
“And you come along and everything is harder.”
Brendon looks down at Ryan. “You’re blaming me for your actions.”
Ryan stares up to Brendon who is on his feet. “Like father like son, huh?”
Ryan’s tears come out faster, Brendon knowing he said the wrong thing and feels guilty. “Hey,” Brendon coos, “I’m sorry? I—“
“I’m going home.” Ryan pushes past him, getting out of the house as soon as possible.
Ryan obeys, turning around to stare right into Brendon’s eyes which are big and sincere.
“Everything’s going to be okay, trust me. I’m sorry for fucking it up if you really think it’s my fault.”
“Shut up,” Brendon says under his breath as he pulls Ryan into a hug, Ryan immediately hugging back, resting his head Brendon’s shoulder. “Can we restart all of this?”
“I’m sorry.” Ryan whispers against him.
“I’m sorry I can’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry,” he says a little louder.
“I’M FUCKING SORRY!” Ryan pulls away from him. He quickly leans into kiss him, mouths coming together with Brendon stunned, but not taking long to kiss back as he pulls him closer as Ryan deepens the kiss.
“That’s all I needed to hear,” Brendon smiles against his lips, hugging him again as the taller boy runs his hands through the smaller one’s hair.
A/N Well I figured I should post this chapter now because of how sweet the last reviews were, you guys are so sweet awww :'').
I been worried about the views because they been decreasing by a LOT and I hope this story isn't boring but I hope it's just because of all the fics that are coming in.
Leave a rate or review (OR BOTH) because I love seeing them so much and it makes me want to update sooner. :D
PS sorry for the cliche title after the song but honestly that's the best I could do.