Then slowly I realise he’s pulling away.
Oh No! He’s going to end this wonderfully confusing kiss, not surprising considering I’m just standing frozen like the dumb idiot I am.
Quick do something I tell myself.
I suddenly jump into action as adrenalin courses through my veins.
Ok so maybe my body chemicals are lagging in reaction, but now they were going to work double time.
I tangle both my hands in to his soft raven, almost shoulder length hair behind his head to stop him from moving away. Then like an animal I thrust my tongue into his warm, wet mouth. Before the kiss was timid, soft and gentle and now I’ve made it rough and almost violent.
I continue to thrust my tongue past his lips and force myself in. I lick the roof of his mouth and he grips me tighter with his hands.
You’re behaving like an outer control, disparate, crazy savage.
I think to myself, slightly disgusted in my behaviour as I bite his bottom lip.
He probable regrets starting this. He’s never going to talk to me again after this.
He would let me violate his mouth just to not hurt my feelings that's just the kind of friend he is, and let’s face it ‘I am totally violating his mouth’
I think about what I’m doing to him. I’m thrashing my tongue, pulling at his hair, crushing teeth and lips togather.
Maybe I should just run away, up the basement stars through the door and down the road and just keep on running till I’m lost in the middle of nowhere.
But the whole time I was thinking of maybe running away I was making the kiss deeper, pushing myself closer against his chest, feeling the heat radiating off his body.
Finally my mind allows me to relax a bit as I think to myself.
Fuck it, he’s the one that started this and he’s not pulling away… actually he’s holding me really tight.
At some point he’d moved his hand without me noticing and they are now griping my hips, pulling me closer to him.
“Mmm…” the slight hum escapes my throat.
I breathe deeply in through my nose, he smells like cigarettes. Our tongues wrestle for domination, he's winning. He groans with pleasure and like a wave of ecstasy it awakens every nerve in my body. I loosely wrap my arms around his head and neck as he tightly grips my waist and softly pushes me into the wall behind me. Only breaking this lustful kiss for a millisecond to breath then dives straight back in.
How long have we been kissing?
I subconsciously ask myself,
I don’t think it really matters.
I answer myself with an unnoticeable smile, I don’t think either of us want this kiss to end.
Suddenly a thought explodes in my mind.
What does this kiss mean? I think I know what it means to me… or maybe I don’t. But what does it mean to him? Is he just trying it out to see what it’s like kiss me? Is he just experimenting with me, or is it something more? Do I want it to be more? What…
It must have become obvious I was distracted because his grip slightly began to hurt as he squeezed me and rubbed his chest against mine. I’d slowed down my movement as I was thinking and he noticed.
Quick do something before he pulls away.
As much as this kiss was confusing I just wasn’t ready for it to end, not yet.
I panicked and thrusted my hips into his…
My legs shake and go weak at the knees as I feel the hardness in his black skinny jeans.
Gerard moves his lips along my jaw and down my neck, he stops and begins to gently suck with the occasional bite in one spot.
I start to shake with a mixture of fear, excitement, confusion, pleasure and uncertainty. It feels so god-dam-good. But how far is he going to go? I know we’ve been friends for years, but this is moving way too fast for my spinning brain to process. Now I’m starting to struggle to breath.
Oh shit…I think I’m having a panic attack…Fuck!
But Gerard’s not noticing since he just pinned me against the wall and shifted the position of his ‘sexy’ body so that my thigh is in-between his, gently he brushes his hips forward.
Is all I can think as I press my back against the wall lifting my head so Gerard has better access to the flesh of my neck. I’ve forgotten how to breathe due the overwhelming amount of pleasure, mixed emotions and unanswered questions flooding my mind.
I have to be turning blue right now. My lungs are beginning to burn.
My vision fades to white and my body goes numb as gravity takes a hold of me.
Fuck I’m passing out…told you to breathe…
A/N so let me know what you think, tell me if it sucked or if you liked it. all reviews are welcomed.XOXO.