*Oneshot* A thin cold layer captured him. He couldn't go on. No matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't find the strength to carry on
Here is a oneshot i came up with a few days ago but i just finsihed it about a half hour ago :3
Rate and Reeview to let me know what you thought of it :3
The ice. The thin cold layer of ice. The thin cold breathtaking layer of ice now swarmed around the place that gets the most damage. The place which holds alot of memories, too many memories drained due to the icy coldness that has attacked them. The memories innocence has been replaced by fear due to this cold surface that has shadowed it. It fears that soon enough every part of me will forget about it.
Every part of me that has not been over shadowed by this thin layer. The parts of me which shines bright, holding on to every ounce of hope it can find. Very valuble, very rare. Very little remaining of it. My body knew that hope was no longer left inside but it still had that feeling that it could be found.
How this layer of coldness had captured an area in my body is quite simple hate. Hate is what caused this layer to form. Hate caused by the people that surround me. Hate from my own family. Hate that came from friends. Hate that came from the bullies and most importantly self hate.
My own family hates me. My mother left when i was only a three year old child, a three year old innocent child with no sense of direction in the world. No sense of right from wrong. When my mother left i was left alone with my father. I still remember the last fight my mother anf father had before mother left. She said she couldn't handle it anymore, she was sick of my father's constant late night's out and not giving a fuck about her. That was my earliest childhood memory that is still fresh in my mind.
My father was depressed when my mother left. He would sometimes forget i was in the house. One night it was about 6 months after my mother left, he came home. He was drunk and had his arm around this cheap slut. As a child i didn't really understand who she was, all i knew she wasn't my mother. He told her to go upstairs and then approached me and shouted at me "Your worthless, you remind me too much of Linda" His breath stunk and then that was the first time he slapped me.
It wasn't my fault. I was just a kid. As the years progressed he got worse and right now i am sitting with bruises and scars all up my arms. He never touched my face after that other incident because he knew that people would stare. I knew he didn't love me, i was just a toy that was used to get beaten.
The bullies would constantly tease me and say that no one wants me. They didn't have to tell me, i already knew that. They would follow me home and shout insults like "Your father is a drunk! Your mother left because your nothing!" It would seriously hurt me inside. I just refused to let them know how much it hurt. The bullying started from when i was young all the way to where i am now in high school.
Because of the bullying and lack of my father's consideration i started self harming. Self harming was the only pleasure i got. My father caught me just a few weeks ago actually and laughed. Laughed at the fact that his 16 year old son was cutting. He started to shout to me "Your weak, your nothing, your the reason Linda left me, your just a fucking worthless piece of shit" and then he spat in my face.
My friends they hate me because well i don't talk much and they have been distancing for some time now. Eventually i just stopped hanging out with them. I stopped going to school and everything. It was too painfull to go to that school with the bullies and not being acknowledged at all. I stopped going to school recently. It was actually about 6 days agao i stopped.
My self hate began when i was about 3 months into high school. I was sick of the way i was treated. I felt like i wouldn't acheive anything in life because noone would support what i would like to do in life. My father was too busy with the drink and i didn't have many friends.
I made my first friend when i was 14. About 2 years in high school. He was called Gerard. Gerard gave me that slice of hope. He knew about my dad, my mum leaving and would defend me when it came to bullies. He also stopped me self harming for a while. He introduced me to Mikey, Ray and Bob. They were great until he arrived.
A new student had joined the school. His name was Bert McCracken. He developed a close bond with Gerard and due to that bond me and Gerard's bond dissolved causing that slice of hope to also disappear into nothing. I went back to my old ways with the self harming and shit. Ray would try to help but soon enough he gave up.
"Your not worth it," I muttered to myself. I looked down and pulled my knees up to my chest and lowered my head. I was nothing. There was no point exsisting if noone gave a shit about you. I cried into my knees then looked up at the dim lightbulb. My room was the garage. Yes i slept in the garage. My father hated my very presence inside the house.
I slowly rose to my feet and looked at the cardboard box that was sitting infront of me. Noone loved me on the earth. I actually did fall in love with Gerard, but he could never know. I didn't know how to tell him. I didn't want to tell him. I couldn't even tell him because before i stopped going to school he got together with Bert. That made this layer even thicker. This layer had covered my heart.
I still love Gerard. He was the only one that i could or ever had loved, he was the one that saved me from myself, the one that stopped me doing something stupid because i knew that one person cared about me. When i told him about my father and where all the scars came from, he listened and gave me my first hug. I got my first hug when i was 14 years old. Sad right? I left a note beside the box an A4 sheet of paper with everything written down carefully folded for my finder.
I took a deep breath and stood ontop of the cardboard box where i came face to face with the rope that was hanging down from a pipe that went across the ceiling of the garage. This rope would take away the pain, it would take away all the negativity and best of all it would take away all those harsh memories.
My father would probably not even know i had done what i am about to done. I would probably be stuck hanging here. If he was to find me he would have to get in contact with my mother. Not that my mother would care she is the one that left me for 13 years and didn't take me with her. She probably had a new family and new children. New children that she loves alot, the children that are her world. The children that she was more proud of than me.
The tears are now falling down my cheeks again. The fact that she was probably happier, she has probably been happier the past 13 years. I grabbed hold of the rope and placed it around my neck. "I could have done you proud mama" I whispered. I shut my eyes and jumped off the box, that layer of ice began to work its way around my body as the blackness consumed my eyes.
"Frank has not been here," I was seriously starting to get more and more concerned, it had been six days and im freaking out.
"Relax maybe he moved school," Mikey suggested.
"He wouldn't have left without telling us but," I said standing up and walking out of the canteen.
"Where are you going?" Bert asked taking a bite of his sandwhich.
"To see Frank," I said. They shouted after me. I didn't care. I had this feeling in my gut something was wrong. I knew what went on in his life, they hadn't a clue what was wrong. His dick head of a father had abused him. He is the one probably stopping him from going to school.
We may not be as close but my fuck i still cared about him, i opened a door from him and when he told me i had given him his first hug, that really did tear at my heart. He was a lost soul filled with fear and does not know what to do. He can barely read. He is a good writer though. I don't know how that works but somehow he can write but not read.
I made my way around to his house and opened the weak metal gate. His dad's car wasn't there. I knew his because i had to walk him home and his dad drived a really exspensive car. The moeny he spent on the food could have been spent on Frank. But no he didn't give a fuck. I walked up the stone path and opened the door not bothering to knock.
Inside the house there was a chill, a chill as cold as ice. So cold that it could instantly take over your body if you gave it long enough to do so. "Frank?!" I called. My voice echoed throughout the house. I got no reply. Slowly i began to walk down the small hall. Frank lived in a 2 story house. He wasn't on the first floor so i checked the second. There was only one bedroom i assumed was his dad's room. Where did Frank stay? That's probably where he is.
I went down the stairs again and walked into the kitchen. He couldn't possibly have been forced to stay in the garage could he? I decided to check it and i slowly pushed down the braass handle opening it. It creeked as i pushed it open. The room was dark and a lightbulb's small glow lit it enough.
As i stepped into the room i looked around and my heart beated even faster and i stepped back of the room. My hands were shaking as i closed the door and the colour drained out of my face. Frank's body was hanging from a rope. He was dead. How long was he hanging there? My mind is so confused trying to get itself in order. I slipped down the door onto the floor. I just found my best friend hanging from a rope. my hands go roughly through my ahir. "Everything is okay," I chanted to myself. I swallowed the lump in my throat and my heart was about to come out of my rib cage.
The tears were streaming down my face now. He was gone. He ended his life. He had so much ahead of him. He could have became something. He could have accomplished so much, he could have left this life behind and went forward. I stood up and walked back into the room again. I looked at him and my eyes shut tight. I had to go over to him. I took another deep breath and approached the corpse.
A note lay beside the box. No name written on it. Just a folded piece of paper. I looked up at his face and then lifted the note.
Well since your reading this, you have probably discovered my dead body. The reason i have done this is simply because i couldn't go on, the ice had fully taken over my heart. The heart that beated with no purpose, no chance in forwarding in life. Noone liked me on this earth. Noone wanted to help me on this Earth. One person tried and had succeeded fro a while. That was Gerard. Gerard Way. He probably is busy with Bert. Bert is a lucky person to have him. Since im writing this i may aswell confess that i loved him. He may be reading this right now. But if you are i wanted you to know i love you alot. But seeing you with Bert tore me up even more. Our bond has broken when he entered our lives. I like him don't get me wrong he is a nice person but well. I can't take anymore of this shit either. My mother never cared about me. She probably has another family now, probably has more children. I could have done her proud. But she left me in the dust.
[/I love you gee, live happilly. I couldn't be here with you. Im sorry
[/ - Frankie
He loved me. This whole time he loved me. I sunk to my knees as one of my tears landed on the piece of paper. I looked up at him once again and folded the page still looking at his angelic face. He was wearing a vest top, all the bruises, scratches, whip marks, scars and self inflicted wounds were visible. There was so many things i wanted to say to him now but i couldn't. I didn't think he would ever love me.
I was the only person he ever loved and i loved him too but i couldn't admit it. I just couldn't. If i had
I could have saved his life from the ice that consumed him.