Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
As You Cry
1 reviewA short songfic to The Hush Sound's "As You Cry". What happens if I don't love you anymore? Ryan/Spencer.
0Unrated
As You Cry
The Hush Sound
/]
[/I'm a half-hearted fool
With a heart that's broke in two
A quarter and a kiss is all
it should be worth to you
Ryan has tried to tell Spencer. Many times. He's tried to explain to him what has happened between them, tell him to move on, but Spencer's not having it. He always was one to hold on after you were supposed to let go.
It's not like Ryan hasn't found it hard to suddenly except that he doesn't love his boyfriend anymore. He's just as confused as anyone. All he knows is one day, there was the oh-so-famous spark, and the next, it was gone.
He didn't believe in God, yet, everyday, he found himself praying that the spark would come back.
It never did.
I must be the last of my kind
'cause you treasure me despite all the signs
The love has disappeared and
Darling you shouldn't even try
The daylight was fading fast. Half an hour, 45 minutes was all they had left of the dying rays of sunshine.
Ryan had sat Spencer down in their dim living room. He took a seat next to him, turned him so they were facing.
"Why do you love me?" He asked, biting his lip slightly but remaining eye-contact.
Spencer replied without a beat. "I don't know. Always have, always will." Ryan's heart breaks as the last line leaves his soon-to-be-ex boyfriend's lips. "Why?"
Ryan refuses to answer this, choosing instead to rebutle (sp?) with another question. "How do you know you love me?"
Spencer's face curls into a confused expression. Ryan knows this as his face of fear. "What is this about?" His voice is thick with terror.
"Just answer the question, please." Ryan's voice is littered with desperation.
Spencer nods and thinks for a moment. "Whenever I even think about you, I get this stupid smile, and I can't do anything about it." A stupid smile. Ryan is surprised. Spencer wholeheartedly pins his love on a smile.
"How would you know if you didn't?"
After every fight we always wonder what we're fighting for
Mint me up and mark me, yeah, you stole me but I am not yours
"I always will," Spencer insists. Ryan finds this answer unhelpful.
He stands, but sits after a moment. There is silence between the two of them, before Ryan leans forward and whispers, "What if I don't?"
As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye
Tears have jumped to Spencer's eyes before he can even process the thought. Ryan doesn't love me. He doesn't love me, is all his mind offers. He is crying in a split second. Ryan is quick to comfort, and is startled when Spencer pushes him away.
"Get away."
"Spencer, please don't take this the wrong way-"
"Get. Away."
Spencer is a mess within two minutes. His face is red, and tears are streaming from his eyes in a never-ending river. Ryan is a foot away, staring. He decided to listen to Spencer.
Without thinking, Ryan opens his mouth. "I lo-" He stops himself. Instead, he stands, kisses Spencer's forehead, and turns to leave. "Goodbye, Spencer."
You're so bright that you shine right through
All the problems that I always try to lay on you
Won't you take me off darling?
And get some air in this rooms
Ryan texts Spencer everyday. Stupid little things, like, "Move on, dear," and such. Spencer never replies.
Spencer has moved in with Jon and Brendon, leaving Ryan alone. He's proud of himself for getting to truth across, though.
"Spence, bud, you have to forget about him," Jon coaxes, as he has every morning since a week ago, when Spencer showed up at their doorstep, cheeks tear-stained and carrying nothing but a pillow pet (He always was a bit of a child).
"He promised," Spencer would whisper, everyday. It became almost ritualistic, and Spencer somehow found comfort in that. He found comfort in conformity, everything being the same all the time.
I can't believe a what I can
I hold inside of my hand
Well end up partying and
Might decide to mess up the plan
I'd be a lying if I told you that we would work you
Ryan begins to drink alot. He's drunk almost everyday. He finds solitude to be not as great as it's cracked up to be. He misses human contact. He misses Spencer.
He pulls himself, together, though. He makes it through a month. Two months. Three. He's fine. Or so he tells himself.
Nobody's singing about you any more
You thought you heard it well you must've heard wrong
It's my business and that's alright
Don't you see that?
After a while, he stops thinking about Spencer. His thoughts are elsewhere. He gives up on texting him, drinks a bit more, and moves on. Funny, he thought it'd be a lot easier to move on from someone you don't love.
He hopes Spencer knows that. But he knows that Spencer doesn't. He can practically feel it everytime Spencer whispers his promise. He can only hope, and hope only takes you half the journey.
Four months after the break-up, Spencer has a... Bad day. Everything he sees relates to Ryan, and every single one feels like a knife to his chest. He can't see straight by 2:30, and all he wants is to curl up and die.
When his dream is almost within reach (He resolves to sleep instead of die), he finds a note plastered to the door of Jon and Brendon's guest room. Ryan's girly handwriting spells out;
"As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye
/]
[/Goodbye..."
The Hush Sound
/]
[/I'm a half-hearted fool
With a heart that's broke in two
A quarter and a kiss is all
it should be worth to you
Ryan has tried to tell Spencer. Many times. He's tried to explain to him what has happened between them, tell him to move on, but Spencer's not having it. He always was one to hold on after you were supposed to let go.
It's not like Ryan hasn't found it hard to suddenly except that he doesn't love his boyfriend anymore. He's just as confused as anyone. All he knows is one day, there was the oh-so-famous spark, and the next, it was gone.
He didn't believe in God, yet, everyday, he found himself praying that the spark would come back.
It never did.
I must be the last of my kind
'cause you treasure me despite all the signs
The love has disappeared and
Darling you shouldn't even try
The daylight was fading fast. Half an hour, 45 minutes was all they had left of the dying rays of sunshine.
Ryan had sat Spencer down in their dim living room. He took a seat next to him, turned him so they were facing.
"Why do you love me?" He asked, biting his lip slightly but remaining eye-contact.
Spencer replied without a beat. "I don't know. Always have, always will." Ryan's heart breaks as the last line leaves his soon-to-be-ex boyfriend's lips. "Why?"
Ryan refuses to answer this, choosing instead to rebutle (sp?) with another question. "How do you know you love me?"
Spencer's face curls into a confused expression. Ryan knows this as his face of fear. "What is this about?" His voice is thick with terror.
"Just answer the question, please." Ryan's voice is littered with desperation.
Spencer nods and thinks for a moment. "Whenever I even think about you, I get this stupid smile, and I can't do anything about it." A stupid smile. Ryan is surprised. Spencer wholeheartedly pins his love on a smile.
"How would you know if you didn't?"
After every fight we always wonder what we're fighting for
Mint me up and mark me, yeah, you stole me but I am not yours
"I always will," Spencer insists. Ryan finds this answer unhelpful.
He stands, but sits after a moment. There is silence between the two of them, before Ryan leans forward and whispers, "What if I don't?"
As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye
Tears have jumped to Spencer's eyes before he can even process the thought. Ryan doesn't love me. He doesn't love me, is all his mind offers. He is crying in a split second. Ryan is quick to comfort, and is startled when Spencer pushes him away.
"Get away."
"Spencer, please don't take this the wrong way-"
"Get. Away."
Spencer is a mess within two minutes. His face is red, and tears are streaming from his eyes in a never-ending river. Ryan is a foot away, staring. He decided to listen to Spencer.
Without thinking, Ryan opens his mouth. "I lo-" He stops himself. Instead, he stands, kisses Spencer's forehead, and turns to leave. "Goodbye, Spencer."
You're so bright that you shine right through
All the problems that I always try to lay on you
Won't you take me off darling?
And get some air in this rooms
Ryan texts Spencer everyday. Stupid little things, like, "Move on, dear," and such. Spencer never replies.
Spencer has moved in with Jon and Brendon, leaving Ryan alone. He's proud of himself for getting to truth across, though.
"Spence, bud, you have to forget about him," Jon coaxes, as he has every morning since a week ago, when Spencer showed up at their doorstep, cheeks tear-stained and carrying nothing but a pillow pet (He always was a bit of a child).
"He promised," Spencer would whisper, everyday. It became almost ritualistic, and Spencer somehow found comfort in that. He found comfort in conformity, everything being the same all the time.
I can't believe a what I can
I hold inside of my hand
Well end up partying and
Might decide to mess up the plan
I'd be a lying if I told you that we would work you
Ryan begins to drink alot. He's drunk almost everyday. He finds solitude to be not as great as it's cracked up to be. He misses human contact. He misses Spencer.
He pulls himself, together, though. He makes it through a month. Two months. Three. He's fine. Or so he tells himself.
Nobody's singing about you any more
You thought you heard it well you must've heard wrong
It's my business and that's alright
Don't you see that?
After a while, he stops thinking about Spencer. His thoughts are elsewhere. He gives up on texting him, drinks a bit more, and moves on. Funny, he thought it'd be a lot easier to move on from someone you don't love.
He hopes Spencer knows that. But he knows that Spencer doesn't. He can practically feel it everytime Spencer whispers his promise. He can only hope, and hope only takes you half the journey.
Four months after the break-up, Spencer has a... Bad day. Everything he sees relates to Ryan, and every single one feels like a knife to his chest. He can't see straight by 2:30, and all he wants is to curl up and die.
When his dream is almost within reach (He resolves to sleep instead of die), he finds a note plastered to the door of Jon and Brendon's guest room. Ryan's girly handwriting spells out;
"As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye
/]
[/Goodbye..."
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