The past 5 Days with Gerard have been a blast. I have never been this in love or attached with someone before. I honestly don’t know what I am going to do while he is away. I take another drag and watch as Frank and Ray come to an agreement.
“Why so anxious?” I hear a voice lurking behind me says. I turn around and see it is Gerard. My heart races and I smile and give him a kiss.
“I was waiting for you” I say throwing my cigarette to the ground and stomping it out.
“Well I am here” He says pulling my closer to him and puts both hands on my waist. I lean up and give him a kiss and rub my hand up his chest, he flinches in pain.
“Ow still a little tender” Gerard says referring to his tattoo. I quickly move my hand.
“Sorry” I apologize. “Did you tell any of the guys you have it?” I ask. Gerard shakes his head no.
“I want this to be our little secret” He leans down and give me a kiss on the cheek. I roll my eyes and just smile. He pulls me into his chest and hugs me tight.
“You’ll always be in my heart Johanna, you’re the only thing I find beautiful in this world. I am going to miss you so fucking much” I can hear the sincerity in his voice. I hug him tighter and just take in the last of him I can.
“I love you Gerard” I whisper.
“I love you too” He coos back, and I let the tears start falling from my eyes. He just rubs my back and lets me let it all out.
“It will go by fast” He says moving his finders up my back and into my hair.
“Don’t forget about me” I sob. He pulls me away from his chest and glares at me.
“I will not forget you Jo, EVER. Do you understand? I am so fucking in love with you I will not forget you okay? Just don’t you forget me” he says sternly. I nod feeling more tears stream down my face. He gently wipes them away and looks over my shoulder and nods.
“I have to go now baby” He whispers. I dive into his arms one last time and let him hold me close. His breathing gets deeper.
“I’ll call you every day I promise” He promises as he kissed the top of my head. I pull away and look up at him and he looks teary eyed, and that makes me cry even harder. I wipe my tears away as they fall and look at him one last time.
“Okay” I respond. I lean up and give him one long last kiss. I can just feel the love between us, and I am kind of wishing I made love to him while I had the chance. We part both breathless and caught up in the moment.
“I love you JO, stay strong for me, I’ll stay strong for you” He gives me one last kiss before taking my hand and walking toward the van. The guys are leaning up against it waiting they all come up to me and give me a hug.
“Wish you were coming” Mikey says. Everyone nods in agreement.
“Me too guys, but I have to stay” I respond.
“Well time go!” Frank exclaims opening the doors to the van and hopping in. I laugh. I am really going to miss these guys.
“On the road again…” Ray sings following him and then Mikey. I gaze up into Gerard’s eyes that are filled with hurt and sadness. I meet his lips one last time.
“Call me?” I cheerfully say. He nods gives me a kiss on the cheek and gets into the van. I watch them and the trailer leave the parking lot. I wave until I can’t see them anymore. Then it hits me, I am all alone for the next 3 months.