Saying that everything’s alright
And by then I’m sure I’ll be pretending
Just like I am tonight
I storm out of the Way’s house, absolutely livid. Gerard is a fucking mess. He was so drunk that he couldn’t even stand on his own two feet. It’s all a load of bullshit.
Amber is still waiting for me on the curb across from the house. Upon seeing me she gets up and hurries across the street. I don’t even stop. My friend eyes me curiously but I don’t answer. She doesn’t need to deal with this. All of this is between me and Gerard.
“What the fuck happened in there?” Amber demands as we continue towards my house.
I can’t just ignore her, it’s not polite, “Gerard was drunk. He was acting like fucking idiot. Do you wanna know what else…? He tried to kiss me again.”
Amber nods. For a few seconds it looks like she’s battling with herself. If I find out that Mikey or Gerard did anything to hurt Amber I’ll kill them. She’s fragile as it is.
“He didn’t hurt you did he?” I question as we enter my house and head upstairs to my room. My dad won’t be home for a while so until then we can chill up here with no worries.
“No, he just said a few things, granted I dished it out first. I’m not dating Mikey anymore.”
My eyebrow rises, teeth pulling on my lip ring, “Why is that?”
Although the fact that Amber is single makes me happy I know in some way it upsets her. She really did like Mikey.
“He told me to leave, so I did, for good.”
“Do you really think that was a good idea?”
Amber shrugs, before kicking off her shoes and falling across my bed, “It’ll be easier in the end.”
“You always talk about the end. What do you mean by it all?”
For a long time Amber just looks at me. I can tell she’s thinking things over. I don’t push. She’ll explain things in her own time. I really just hope that she’s alright. Losing my best friend would kill me. We’ve been through shit before. If we got through that we can get through anything.
“The end of my life,” she answers quietly.
I’m confused, “You’re going to live for a long time Amber.”
“Not as long as you think,” she mumbles before sitting up. “Just forget it Frank.”
“Hey,” I answer, wrapping my arms tightly around Amber, “I thought we agreed it’s better if you’re alive.”
Amber’s words hurt, like being stabbed in the heart. She can’t die, or even try to die. Without Amber I’ve really got no one. The girl sitting in front of me has every reason in the world to live. I guess it’s my job to show her that.
“We did, but that was two years ago and this is now. Things change Frank. I’m not happy anymore.”
This frustrates me, “Amber, can I tell you something?”
“Four years ago I met the most amazing person. She wasn’t exactly happy and she would never wear short sleeves. I made it my goal to be her best friend and to make her happy. I thought I was doing a good job but anymore I don’t know. She just doesn’t smile anymore. I want nothing more than to see her smile because it’s beautiful. You want me to tell you something?”
Amber nods again, resting her head against my shoulder.
“I think that you and Mikey will work things out. The reason I think this is because when you’re with him you smile, and it’s wonderful.”
“I smile around you,” Amber answers, sitting up quickly.
“Yeah, but it’s not the same.”
Sure, I wish it was. It pains me to be sitting here, telling Amber to go back and be with Mikey. Yet, I know it’s for the best. She’s happy when she’s around Mikey and so I must deal with this.
“So you think I should go back there and forgive him?”
I shrug, “I think you should do whatever makes you happy.”
For a while Amber just sits there, staring up at the ceiling fan, “Mikey does make me happy, but there are other people that make me happy too. I don’t necessarily need Mikey.”
“You want him though, don’t you?”
Amber nods, a little bit of light coming back into her lifeless eyes.
Sighing I get up off the bed and motion for my friend to follow me. I walk her all the way to the front door, “It’s up to you.”
Amber looks at me and then at the door, “He’s probably really drunk…he probably needs me.”
I just nod not wanting to influence her decision.
Leaning up Amber kisses my cheek before opening up the front door, “I’ll come back later, maybe, if I don’t have to go home.”
Nodding again I watch as the girl I’ve had a crush on since freshman year walks out of my house and down the side walk. This is for the best, I remind myself before shutting the door and collapsing on the couch.
Author's Note: So sorry it's taken me so long to update. I'm working on a book that I'm hoping to get published. It takes up a lot of my time. Anyway, I should put up a few chapters tonight.