Jared is depressed, and needs help. And he gets it, very unexpected.
He decided to pick up his phone.
- Hey brother! How are you? Shannon carefully said, knowing Jared didn’t have the best time.
-Can you come over?
Nobody opened the door. Shannon tried the door handle. The door was open, and he went inside. The air was thick and moist. He thought very fast that something was wrong.
- Jared? Are you here? Jared!
Shannon walked into the living room. There were papers all over the place with doodling. But they were darker than usual. This is not good.
Shannon turned around and found Jared in the corner of his living room. Jared’s hair was long and dirty. In his hand he was holding a cigarette. Jared was smoking. Shannon looked at him with a shock.
- Jared! What the fuck? You are smoking! You don’t smoke!
Shannon hurried down on the floor next to him.
- I know, but things are so dark Shannon. I’m having trouble sleeping, eating, and living. I feel like a mess.
- You have lost some weight Jared. You are destroying yourself! Jared, I love you so much brother. Please do not walk down this path. Shannon hugged Jared. Jared started to cry.
- Please help me back up again, Shannon?
The days went by, and Shannon had moved in with Jared for a while. Jared was sitting in his couch not doing much. He stared a lot at the walls and his art. Shannon cleaned the house. He also got rid of the dark curtains that were in the living room. The room around Jared was getting brighter along with his mind, but he still felt something was missing in his life.
- Here, eat this fruit. Shannon said to him while he gave him a glass of water.
- Thanks… Jared muttered.
- Look, shall we try to go outside later today? The weather is nice. Also you need it Jared.
- Well, ok, but I don’t want to go to any crowded places.
- We can take a small trip to the park. Is that ok for you?
- Yeah… Jared answered while he stood up to change his clothes.
He put on a pair of old jeans. He also found an old shirt that reminded him of the time he was engaged to Cameron. Oh God he was happy that era was over. He did think of the good memories, but the bad ones wiped them out in a second. She was not the right girl for him. Probably not for anyone, he thought while putting on a green t-shirt that he borrowed from Shannon. His own clothes were filthy.
Shannon popped his head in his room.
- Ready to go?
Jared stared into his mirror. He looked at himself. Shannon was right, his weight was low. His eyes went up and down at his own reflection. Could he do this? Could he go outside and see people? He turned his head toward Shannon and nodded.
They drove to the park. Shannon parked their car a bit away from all the others. So that Jared would not freak out or something. Jared exited the car. Not many people here, this could be ok. They walked a bit around and sat down on a park bench. Jared thought that if people recognized him, he would put on a mask and stay strong for those who wanted a photo or autograph. He felt that he should not take his mental state out on others, unless the man’s name was Shannon Leto. He trusted his brother with his life.
- So how do you feel Jared?
- I am ok I guess. It feels a bit weird to be outside, since I have been inside all this time. Plus, I want a cigarette.
- No Jared.
- Ok. Hey look over there! There are some people outside with their dogs. They seem happy. Or at least thrilled. It is probably the joy and the energy they get from picking up the stick their owner throws away. Imagine being a dog. You can be happy for so little! Just by playing with a ball, or a stick. Jared turned his head toward Shannon. Shannon stared at him, and laughed.
- Jared, you amaze me with your thoughts.
- Ever since we were kids you have told me that. Maybe I should start believe you? Because sometimes you only answer that because you didn’t bother listening to me in the first place.
- Sorry bro, I was listening this time I swear. But, I want ice-cream, do you want some? I’ll buy you the lemon flavor.
- Yes please. I would like that. Jared answered while staring at the dogs in the distance.
Shannon walked away. He sat there all alone now. He closed his eyes. Listening to all the sounds he could feel. Birds in the trees, dogs barking, people chatting in the distance. He felt very calm.
- Can I sit here for a moment?
Jared opened his eyes
- Can I sit here? Is it taken?
- Uhm my brother is buying Ice cream but I think he is still in a line… So yes you can sit.
- Thank you! I was just jogging by, and needed to catch my breath. What a nice day don’t you think?
- Yeah it is nice. Jared answered, and he turned his head toward this person. It was a girl. She had jogging outfit and had a nice pair of sneakers with bright colors. They reminded him of his brothers’ sneakers. Haha, they have so strong colors that they could wake up the dead people.
Shannon bought the ice-cream and was headed back to Jared. Then he stopped. Someone was sitting with him. No, Shannon is not going to interrupt him. It seems he is sitting with a girl. Not bad Jared! I think I will just stand here for a while.
Jared turned around to look after Shannon. He saw him standing with some trees eating the ice-cream. Damn him if he ate his too! He saw that Shannon held one thumb up, so apparently he is not coming over for as long as this girl is here.
- You are cute. What’s your name? The girl asked Jared while touching the bench on the edge. Jared studied her wrist. A symbol…
- Jared. And your name?
- I’m just a wanderer… My name is not relevant right now. She answered.
Jared stared at her. Why didn’t she want to say her name? Was this some sort of flirting, or is he started do experience crazy illusions.
- Well, nice to meet you Jared! I have to continue my run now. Just remember, always follow your dreams, no matter what.
She ran away.
Jared quickly turned around and saw Shannon coming back with the ice-cream.
- Jared, she was nice! Did she flirt or something?
- No, she just told me to follow my dream. You know, I think I saw a tiny TRIAD on her wrist, but the sun was so strong that I’m not sure.
- She might be an Echelon? Shannon asked while licking of the cold, creamy ice-cream.
- It’s not unlikely, but if she knew who I was, why ask what my name is?
- I dunno, man. But you do not look well Jared. Perhaps she thought you needed some support instead of being assaulted with screaming people wanting your photo and autograph.
- You might be right. Shannon, let’s get home.
Jared had been starting to eat again. His bodyweight was no much higher and normal. Even though he was a skinny guy, his bones don’t stick out anywhere anymore. That is good.
One morning Jared woke up and smiled. It was quite some time since he had done that. Shannon still lived with him, but he was away with Antoine often to work on their project. He thought back to when they were on tour around the world, meeting Echelon. It was something he missed so deeply, but now he had found a way to distant his “addiction” to the Echelon. He stood up from bed. He pushed away the curtains to let in some sunlight. Oddly enough there was some fog outside. That is not something you see every day in Hollyweird. He walked passed his wallmirror in the hallway. At night, he doesn’t sleep with much clothes. Jared stopped by it. His eyes stared at his body. The tattoos were really nice in this light. Also, with him only wearing his underwear, he really felt that the tattoos of the Triads and glyphs were made for his body. They defined him as a person. Jared walked into the bathroom. It was time for a shower.
Afterwards, Jared only walked around in his towel. The water slowly ran down his body and quickly absorbed into the towel. The water dripped down his neck and down his back while he tried to find some fruit for breakfast. He found a pear in his fridge. It was fresh and tasty. He walked around in his living room, put on some opera music, and sat down by his desk. In front of him was a notebook. Jared’s most personal notebook. In this, he wrote lyrics and thoughts. He opened it. The page was blank. Oh he remembered now. This was a new notebook, since after This Is War, it was filled with so much negative energy and pain that he had to put it away.
By the notebook, he had a pencil. It had clear bitemarks on it, because when Jared always was thinking, he had a habit for eating on things. Like his pencil. Jared lifted his head and closed his eyes. Was he ready to start a new adventure? He knew Tomo and Shannon would love to have more time, so this could be his little project, and when the time is right he could present it for the guys.
Jared picked up the pencil.
After being doodling and writing random stuff for hours, he needed a break. He stood up, and the towel went off.
- Oh what the fuck. Jared said to himself while walking with the towel in his hand towards his bedroom. It didn’t matter that his third leg got some more oxygen. He opened the door to his bedroom. It was dark.
I did leave the door open, what the fuck?
He tried to push the light switch on, but nothing happened…
He stared into darkness and then a light came on. He heard the ignition of the light as clear as the sky was blue. In the shine of the light, someone was standing. He stared. It was a girl.
Jared walked slowly towards her. She was naked, just like him. But that didn’t bother him. His mind was trying to make all this make sense. The girl looked up. She had a ball in her mouth that was tied around her neck. He stared at her. Walking closer and closer. Jared stood right in front of her. She looked in his eyes. Jared didn’t understand what he was doing. Or who she was, but he felt calm about it. He didn’t think that there was a naked girl who had broken into his house. No, that didn’t matter. He leaned in toward her mouth. Stopped only a few centimeters away from her lips. Jared whispered.
- Who are you…
He kissed her cheek. Touching her around the waist. He kissed her neck gently. Jared smiled. The girl held around his waist. Jared pushed her gently towards his bed. He lay her down and kissed her body. She moaned. It all felt like a dream. This could not be real. Or why not. Jared kissed her breasts. They were soft and warm. He worked his way down on her body. His eyes were closed while he enjoyed the warm and pretty girl who was in his bed. He stood up quick. Now was the time. He quickly bent over her again, but this time more aggressively. He tore up the ball that was tied around her neck. She breathed out, stared him in the eyes.. He pulled her legs away from each other.
They stunned, it was an amazing moment. He went deeper. She licked his neck…They went on and the darkness faded in…
Jared tried to wake up but he felt so, tired. He stood up from the bed. Oh, wait, what happened last night. He looked down. His underwear was not there. But he could swear that he was with a girl last night. Quickly he turned toward his bed. Nobody was there. He sat down on his bedside. He tried to think.
Yesterday, he had gone upstairs, to his bedroom…Oh ok. Jared saw the girl in his mind. There was something with her. HER FACE! Holy shit. He remembered that when he was in the park with Shannon, he met a girl. This girl really looked like her. Oh my, it must have been her. Wait what?
Jared tried to find something that actually proved what happened last night. He couldn’t find anything. Not even marks on the sheets from his swimmers. Was it a dream? Or was it something that happened. Jared was very confused. He put on some clothes and went downstairs.
He picked up his phone on the kitchen table. There were only a thousand e-mails and a few messages from Shannon and mom. But he had a new note on his phone. He opened the file.
“Thank you for yesterday Jared. Yes I am the girl you met. Never stop, and keep believing sweet Jared. Love, Jessica.”
He sat down on the floor. Actually, this was not bad. Usually, men do get quite upset after a girl goes away after a one night stand, but not Jared. No, this girl knew exactly what he needed to get his life back. And Jared knew he was not going to see her again. It is not only us who is claimed to save lives. In this family it works both ways. The Echelon save our lives as well.
Jared picked up his phone. He called Shannon.
- Shannon? Hi, yeah I am ok, but listen I have something to tell you about.