Fluffy Moments and Mikey returns.
He actually looks shocked at my thoughts. But he must have known? Look at him, he's fucking gorgeous and resembles a lava lamp being thrown at my face and yeah that's a great thing by the way. Who wouldn't want Frank all over their face? Interpret that however you please. I prefer him all over me in general but that's kinda difficult because there is around a two foot height difference to consider. "I know that i sometimes, flirt with other guys." Frank begins slowly. Although i don't know if it's his flirting or the fact they flirt back all the more. It's probably them flirting back because for fucking gods fucking sake HE IS MINE! "I might talk to other guys. I might give other guys my time, Hell i might even hug other guys!" He isn't going to say he fucks other guys is he? Fucking hell i'm chewing my fingernails off here. "But none of them are as important to me as you are." He finishes and forces his lips onto mine, the bump not getting in the way so much this time. Maybe this was all we needed, some time alone and some reassurement. Fuck, relationships are rough. And i thought working with Malibu Barbie herself was going to be how i'd remember my summer.
"I just got romantic with you, you must be so glad i'm not a natural romantic!" I sounded like a fucking demented robot cross bred with some kind of lovesick little girl. Little girls get love sick. One direction? Hell fucking lo! Not that i feel that way about any of them of course, i just like looking at them and singing to their songs when i'm alone and want to cook but can't because theres nothing microwaveable and i'll burn our house down otherwise. "Motherfucker! I knew it was you! Gee- who in gods name are you? And why do you look so manly?" A tall gangly little fucker cries after parking his car behind us. Way to kill a moment motherfucking one direction fan. "Mikes!" Gerard practically shrieks rushing up to give him the mother of all hugs. Just because he has a stomach like a pancake! "Put my boyfriend down bitch! Or i'll fucking knock you into that field with his unborn child kicking your nose in!"
"Frank, meet my little brother." Gerard gulps as his brothers eyes widen at me. He knows i'm a man and he now knows he'll be the uncle of my rock hard stomach. "Oops, hormones." I say looking down and crawling back inside the car cursing my own name and goddamn Harry Styles.
"So you guys are together and you're going to be Dads?" I say the words tingling with uncertainty on my tongue. Two men? "How is that even possible?" The words flying out without me thinking properly. "Uh well, the nurses and doctors when i was born decided nothing was wrong but little known to me or any other fucker until now i have ovaries and a womb, but i don't get periods which kinda makes no sense. They said something about i'm lucky that i could concieve. Well i would be if i was a woman, but i'm a man. Not a fucking hermaphrodite or half and half, a man. I look like a man, talk like a man, smell like a man, think like a man... Well, a gay man. Cause i'm not really into huge tits and bikini waxed vaginas, that just looks painful, although Gerards workmate is a fan of things like that i believe. Malibu Barbie. Can't remember her actual name to be honest, don't particularly care either."
"Funnily enough, i don't remember either. All i do know is she hated me at first. Tried to hook up with Frank and now they no longer work together all of a sudden she likes to bend over my desk and try to thrust her implants in my face. Oh and the streaky fake tan? Mikes, don't even get me fucking started. Frank's not a fan of her frilly bras either, she wanted him to look at it when she ripped her shirt off on his first day of work." They broke out into hysterical laughter. I felt a pang of sadness about how much i'd missed out on. Gerard seemed genuinely happy now and that story about Barbie? Fucking classic in the making! I mean who in this day and age takes their shirt off and flashes their breasts at a new colleague. First day especially! I would've handed my resignation in there and then, although actually maybe it wouldnt have been so bad. For me anyways. Hmm, i wonder how she feels about unicorns........
"Hows Mom and Dad? Still cruising and boozing?" I laugh remembering how my Mom had heckled my Dad for a cruise and they were hyping about finally going on one eight months earlier. My Mom on wine though? Fucking don't even go there. If you think me on Coco Pops is bad you need to see this! I don't know if i prefer the Whitney Houston reinditions or the spray tanning spectaculars she does on herself. "One coat takes an hour to develop." Dad had told our pretty much fucked Mom when she got it all set up. "It's not working!" She began to wail after two coats, six coats later and the morning after? Oh, she was tanned alright. She looked like a beautiful fucking Goldfish. I do miss home. The washing. The sound of Dad coming home. But i guess it's growing up. You find your own place and you build your own family. My Baby will hear me come home and smell Frank's cooking.... Actually no, we need to hire a chef for this new generation. If we intend on holding down a house that is. Ah joys.