No matter how bad things get, I still have faith. Right now, I'm trapped on the dark side, but I know my sunshine is waiting for me right on the other end of the tunnel. I am Mikey Way and I am brave.
Growing up I was too blinded by sunshine to see the dark side of people. I saw the good in everyone, but as I got older I began to see how cruel my species could be.
It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that my innocence started deteriorating. I had never been to a real school before. My mom had homeschooled my brother Gerard and me ever since Gee got his arm broken. They, wanting to keep my kindergarten mind pure, neglected to tell me that it was a group of fellow third graders that had put him in so much pain. I can't believe I had though that their lie to be the truth for so long. No one gets that many bruises and a broken arm from falling off a four foot slide.
Back to freshman year. The year that made me begin to lose faith in humanity. It wasn't until about six months into the school year that I noticed my brother was slowly wasting away. My brother, my best friend, the one who knew everything about me, and the one I thought I knew everything about. He was drifting away. Not only from me, but the whole world. He wouldn't talk. He refused to eat, even when I begged him to. And from the pitter patter that came from his room late at night was anything to go by, he didn't sleep either.
Since Gerard was a senior, I never had to witness the torture he endured or see the blood of his that was splattered throughout the halls. I had no clue what had happened to him each and every day, but damn, the aftermath scared me. When I had questioned Gee about the bruises and his withdrawn nature, he had told me nothing was wrong. That did nothing but worry me even more about the broken shell of my amazing brother, for now, not only was he suffering, but he didn't want to talk it out. Like we always had. I wish he had.
I, wanting to make my big brother happy again, decided to find the problems and fix them. So one day, I skipped math class and sort of stalked him during his break. Oh, how I wish I had just went to math class. I truly didn't know who was hurt worse. Me or Gee. I hated seeing my brother thrown to the ground and kicked carelessly by kids his age. But with all the blood surrounding him and the pitiful noises that came from him, I think it's safe to say Gee was hurt bad. Real bad.
I had never confronted my brother on the incident I had seen because well I didn't know what to say to him. But the noises that emitted from Gerard still haunt me to this day. They were so broken and so quiet, as if he wanted no one to know of his pain. Man, Gerard was brave.
Brave. Not a lot of people would describe him as brave. What he did about two weeks after the incident I saw at school would be what many considered a coward's act. But he truly was brave. Brave enough to last as long as he did. Brave enough to get up and face the kids at school every day. But after a while, Gee lost his fight. He gave up.
I'm a senior now. Just like Gerard was. I'm abused by classmates. Just as Gerard had been. I'm depressed. Just like Gerard was. But unlike my beloved brother, I still have hope. No matter how bad things get, I still have faith. Because things get better. Right now, I'm trapped on the dark side, but I know my sunshine is waiting for me right on the other end of the tunnel. I am Mikey Way and I am brave.