I own an adoption center now, for all animals. From Cows to rats. I love everything about being back home. It wasn’t until I got back I realized how much I missed it. My mom and dad were beyond ecstatic about me being back, but not the fact that I was getting drunk and high almost every night to numb out the pain of losing Gerard. They put me into a rehab program, where I got sober, I have been sober since late 2003. I had a couple relapses but so far I am doing good.
I live with my best friend Arianna in a very big house. We have been friends since sophomore year In high school. She has always been there for me, I can trust her with almost everything except for anything about Gerard. Partly because I have tried to completely erase him from my life, that and she is a radio host. If she knew anything about me and him she would go crazy exposing it to the public and I can’t risk that.
Erasing Gerard and My Chemical Romance from my life has been easier than I thought. I Know they have made it, big. Mainly because I see kids wearing their T-shirts all the time, but I haven’t listened to their new CD, watched any shows they have been on, or looked at any pictures of them and so far I am doing good, but not one day goes by that I don’t think of him.
I have dated several guys and even done some things I am not so proud of with them because I want to forget him so badly. But still after all these years nothing compares to the way he made me feel and I hate it. I havn’t been able to have that life I told him I wanted because I can’t find anyone that measures up to him. But recently I have been seeing this guy Ken. We aren’t considered boyfriend and girlfriend but we have been seeing each other and well he makes me happy, not Gerard happy but one step below it and I am fine with that.
It is a Saturday today and that means the adoption center is closed, and I couldn’t be happier. I walk out of my room and down the spiral staircase skipping steps as I do. At the bottom of the stairs is Pickles. He looks up at me and slowly wags his tail. Poor guy can’t get up and down the stairs anymore. I lean down and give him a kiss on the nose and walk into the kitchen where I start making myself some coffee, when I hear Arianna coming down the stairs also, but not as perky as me. I hear her mumble something to Pickles before she turns the corner and comes into the kitchen. Her black hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun and she is wearing the same clothes I saw her wear last night when she left.
“Good Morning!” I say cheerfully. She glares at me and grabs the pot of coffee pouring herself some.
“I hate how cheerful you are in the mornings” She groans. I shrug and sit down at one of the barstools but the wrap around counter of our kitchen, she does the same.
“Bad hangover?” I ask taking a sip of my coffee.
“Yeah, worst part is I have to drive to Denver and go experience the Warped Tour.” She complains. I just nod not saying anything, trying to avoid what I know she is going to ask next I stand up and walk into the living room, she calls after me.
“Hey Jo! What if you go with me?!” She asks excitedly. I turn around and stare at her. Her once tired droopy eyes are now full of life and hope. I roll my eyes at her.
“No” I simply say continuing walking.
“Please! I ask you all the time but you never go because you have work, well guess what is fucking Saturday and you don’t have to work so you’re coming” She demands.
“Um, no I’m not. I don’t do concerts” I tell her while sitting on the black leather couch.
“ Yeah yeah I know you always say that. But come on! It has been 3 years, you’ve never gone, you’ve turned me down more than 100 times, you owe me!” She exclaims. I nearly choke on my coffee.
“I owe you?! How?!” I demand
“ I do free commercial advertising for your adoption center, and with that commercial advertising I believe you said your adoption rates have improved by more than 90%? If I were to stop doing those you wouldn’t have as much success now would you?” She crosses her arms and stares at me. Damn she plays a good game.
“You wouldn’t…..” I say shocked.
“No I wouldn’t but pllllleeeaaasssseee come!” She begs again. I bite my bottom lip debating if I should go or not. She is right.
“What bands are going?” I ask. She smiles and walks toward the office area, coming back a couple minutes later with a flyer. Printed on it is a list of all the bands. I scan the list not seeing their name anywhere so I sigh.
“Just this one time got it?” I tell her. She smiles and jumps up and down then stops looks at her watch.
“Well we have an hour to get ready plus the hour drive there so get your ass ready!” She says clapping her hands and then heading up the stairs. I shake my head and laugh at her as she does. I love her.
An hour later I stand in front of the mirror looking at myself. I haven’t been to a concert in so long. I decide to wear a pair of shorts, a black t-shirt and a pair of white converse. I think I look decent. Blonde hair is up in a pony tail. I look closely in the mirror at it, my red roots are starting to show, that means I am going to have to make a hair appointment soon. Maybe I should change it back to red. Then a sudden flash of Gerard comes across my mind and a shake it out. Nope staying blonde.
I hear a knock on the door distracting me from my thoughts. I walk over to the door and open it. In the doorway stands an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl. I feel myself fill with envy. Arianna is dressed in short shorts, a pink bikini top and a pair of vans. Her black hair runs down her tanned shoulders. But when I look at her she is looking at me the way I am looking at her.
“Damn girl! I hardly ever see you out of scrubs and sweat pants! You look good! You should put on a bikini top like me!” She suggests. Immediately I respond
“No!” She gives me a weird look. “I feel more comfortable like this” I lie. If she were to see me in a bikini top she would see my tattoo and I definitely don’t want that. She just shrugs and twirls the keys in her hand.
“Lets go!” and we head out to her Red 2005 Mustang.
We arrive in Denver around 11:00 Am. Right when the concerts are starting. Arianna parks her car in a special VIP place handing her keys over to some young teenage boy who can’t stop staring at us. She and I both giggle at him and keep walking. She loops arm through mine and we walk into the crowd of people.
It is so cramped. I forgot about all of this and it is bringing back memories I don’t want but I push them out of my head for her sake. She is so happy I am here.
After 3 hours I am covered in sweat so is Arianna but we don’t care. I am honestly having a great time right now. By the time a band called the ‘All American Rejects” Is done playing she and I have made our way up to the very front.
“I am so happy you are here Jo! This is honestly one of the best times I’ve had at a concert. You really know how to maneuver a crowd!” She compliments I smile.
“Haha thanks.” I respond he smiles a big smile at me. A bunch of Roadies come onto the stage and are setting up for another band. I take this time to flag down one of the water people at the front of the gate to get us water. He of course is young and keeps staring at us. We giggle again.
“What is up with the younger guys today?” I ask. Arianna sips her water and shrugs.
“Can’t say I don’t mind the attention” She says looking back at the boy and waving. He nearly drops all the water and we both laugh again.
A taller guy comes up to the microphone and starts checking it along with the bass guitar, the drums and the other guitars. The crowd is getting restless wanting more music. The tall guys walks up to the microphone and says
“ As a surprise we a very special guest that wasn’t featured for todays line up, but they have been nice enough to join us for this one stop. Please welcome to the stage MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!” my heart drops and the crowd goes crazy. I feel a panic rising inside of me. Arianna is screaming next to me but I remain silent. Of course we are front and center when the come on. I take my sunglasses off from the top of my head and put them on and look at the ground. I feel a deep panic attack going on. Arianna turns to me and notices.
“Whats wrong?” She yells over the screaming crowd.
“WE have to go now!” I yell. She looks at me weird. From the corner of my eye I can see feet moving across the stage. My heart beats faster. I have to leave before he speaks or sings. I can’t do this. I hop over the barrier between the stage and the crowd and I run as fast as I can back to where the car is covering my ears. When I get to the area where she parked the car all I can hear is the guitars no voices.
I lean against a wall breathing heavily in and out. I feel the tears come into my eyes. What if he saw me? What if he recognized me? What if he tries to find me now?! The pain is here, it is back. I do what they told me in rehab, I think of a time when I was younger, a happy time. I go back to the time when I went camping with my uncle one of the happiest times of my life. Immediately I feel the pain ease away.
“Jo! What is wrong?! What the fuck?!” I hear Arianna ask out of breath.
“We need to leave” I tell her.
“What why? I need to see them play so I can ask them questions for my show on Monday” I feel more pain come back.
“What?! You knew they were going to play here?! You didn’t tell me?!” I yell. She looks taken back and repsonds.
“Well, yeah, every warped tour when they arnt playing with them they always make one stop for a show in Colorado. Just Colorado. Why what is the big deal?!” She asks again. So he has been here every year?! Just for Colorado? Why Colorado? Is he looking for me?! The pain is back and I grab my stomach and bend over.
“Can we go please” I say quietly.
“Jo what is wrong, please tell me I’m your best friend”
“Ari I am to a drinking point right now” I tell her. Her eyes get wide. She knows when I say that, I am serious and not to ask any questions but just to help me. She nods and we head towards her car.
Woo!! Hope you guys like the new Chapter!