"I've thought of about half a dozen really dirty puns for it during the two-hour period since I've received your letter."
Alright, alright, it was a stupid suggestion. Creep. I was mostly joking, anyway. God.
But I was being serious about the wall-punching thing, and I really do think that you need something better. So I'm sending along a stress ball. It's like a miniature balloon filled with sand, and it hurts a lot when you get socked by one, but that's not the point. When you feel like ripping someone's brains out, just smile (this is a very good way for making someone seriously tick) and squeeze it as hard as you want. It's fun, really.
Thanks for the stress ball, I guess. I've thought of about half a dozen really dirty puns for it during the two-hour period since I've received your letter, but somehow I don't think you'd appreciate them, so I'll restrain myself.
You say it hurts a lot to get socked by this thing? I'll keep that in mind.
No time for a long letter. Maybe I can get this thing back to my English class before last period.
Hitting people is not the point of a stress ball, and I know you only put that in because you knew it would annoy me. If I catch you throwing it at someone, I will be very pissed so don't do it.
What it should be doing is making you a better-tempered person. It will relieve stress as well as lessen your unnatural urge to bite the head off of someone you don't even know because of a pen pal project that wasn't your choice.
What are you, my psychiatrist? You will never curb my violent tendencies. Don't try, because it won't work.
Wait a minute. I'm sort of sensing a pattern here and I think I sort of know what it is. You know who I am, don't you? You've seen me and you know what I look like and you watch me. You wrote about 'catching me throwing the stress ball at someone' or something like that, and other stuff in other letters, and that has to be what it means.
What is up with that?
I never said that!
I've never met you (in person) in my life, I swear. And I don't know for sure exactly who you are. I get people mixed up. You never told me exactly what you look like, so how could I know?
Don't jump to conclusions!
You're such a liar.
How hard can it be to miss the gay guy who always gets into fights, wears chokers, has two piercings in one ear that drives teachers crazy, and has a purple streak in his hair?
Dude, that's freaking annoying. STOP WATCHING ME. I know that you are. You probably monitor everything I do. In fact, you probably saw me get into that fight a little while back.
I'm out of words. I can't write any more, I need a distraction.
ErMerGerd! I'm back! :D Like I said in the authors note the other day, I've been getting used to my new sleeping schedule and my medicine threw me off for a bit. Now, my crazies, I would like to say that I start school in a week and a half. Meaning, even less time to write. But I promise you, I will try my best to update as soon as I can. (:
You guys are truely fucking amazing, and every single one of you make Sam smile.