“I’ll tell you when Penina gets upstairs so I don’t have to tell it twice.” I told her “What’s happened with Rose and Abbie?”
“Well someone told Rose that Abbie’s been talking about her behind her back and then Rose had a proper go at Abbie. She basically told her that she’s a slag and that she has to stop kissing so many boys.”
“Wow.” I replied.
Raven went into the bathroom to get into her pyjamas when there was a knock at the door. I got up and answered “Hola españolas pescado!” Penina grinned, holding a loaf of bread “It means hello spanish fish.”
“Why did you call me a Spanish fish?”
“John taught me how to say fish and I figured the rest out for myself.” Penina sounded pretty proud of herself “Hey, have you been crying?” I nodded “It’s not because I was hanging out with Frank so much is it?”
“Oh no, it’s not that.” Penina walked in and I shut the door behind her. Raven came out of the bathroom “I’ll tell you both.”
So we sat down and Penina put the kettle on so she could make soup for herself and hot chocolate for me. I told them everything that had happened upstairs “But I thought you liked Mikey like that?” Raven asked.
“I do like him like that.” I said, taking the small plastic cup off of Penina “But you don’t understand. I don’t understand it. When I went out with Tim-“
“That was two years ago!” Penina cried “And he was a clingy little shit, clingier than Frank which is saying something. I don’t think Mikey would be like that.”
“I don’t know how to explain it!” I moaned “Like Raven, how do you feel when Ray hugs you?”
Raven thought about it “I guess I feel safe and happy…”
“Whenever Tim hugged me when we were dating, I felt trapped. Back when I fancied Ben, I like jelly whenever he hugged me. Penina, how do you feel?”
Penina shrugged and bit her lip “I don’t know to describe it. It’s perfect I guess.”
I finished my hot chocolate, groaned and laid back against my bed “Well how did you feel when Mikey kissed you?” Raven asked.
I thought about it “I don’t know, I was kind of panicking because I didn’t know what was going on…”
“You’re not supposed to panic when somebody kisses you. Unless they’re like a paedophile or something.” Penina said. I looked at her “Just saying. Remember how I told you my first kiss with Frank was so awkward because we both leaned in and I ended up accidentally kissing his nose instead of his mouth?” I nodded “Well I thought our kisses would always be awkward, embarrassing and cringey but they’re not. They’re amazing.”
I sighed “I don’t think Mikey’s gonna want to talk to me anymore after tonight. I don’t know how I could ever make him understand that it wasn’t his fault I ran out.”
“He’ll understand.” Raven re-assured me “Don’t worry about it; everything will be okay in the morning.”
I didn’t feel much better the next morning. If anything I felt worse. I had a headache from all my crying and when I got downstairs Mikey wasn’t there. At breakfast I asked Gerard where he was and Gerard told me “He ate breakfast really quickly then went back upstairs.” If Gerard was mad at me for running out on his brother (which I’m certain Mikey told him) he didn’t show it.
Once I’d finished my breakfast I went up to Mikey’s floor to see him. I knocked three times on his door but instead of opening it he asked through the door “Who is it?”
“It’s Hozzie, can we talk please?”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“Please Mikey.” I begged “You don’t understand.”
“I know I don’t understand but I’m not sure if I want to.”
“Please let me in.”
But he wouldn’t open the door so I admitted defeat and went downstairs to my own room. He’d have to come out of his room at some point. It’s not like he was about to miss a day at a theme park.
When I made it to my floor Penina and Frank were kissing. I felt sick to look at them. That sounds harsh. But after last night I didn’t want to look at lovey dovey couples. Frank said goodbye to Penina and then we both went back to our room to get ready “Today is gonna be so awesome!” Penina grinned “And do you know what? I don’t mind that I’m not going on the big rides. I mean, I went on them last year didn’t I? And I didn’t go on the smaller ones last year so if I go on them this year that’ll make up for it. Oh and did you talk to Mikey?”
“I tried to.” I replied “But he wouldn’t let me in.”
“Well you’ll sit by him on the coach again, won’t you? You can talk to him then.” Penina re-assured me as she slapped some sun cream onto her skin.
“Where’s Ravens sun cream?” I asked, walking over to Raven’s side of the room “God, she’s so tidy.” All her clothes had been neatly packed away and her bedside table was so organised. Mine and Penina’s clothes were all over the floor and the space in between our beds was extremely messy “Ah found it!” I announced and started putting some on.
Raven came in just as I finished putting it on and I quickly put it away “Hey Hozzie, I know you’re scared of rides but me, Ray and some other people are just going on small rides. I think you’d like them. Do you wanna go on them with us?”
I thought about it then nodded “Okay, I’ll try.”
Raven smiled “Awesome.”
[A/N] - Hope you liked it :3