Frank and Jamia lived happily together untill a maniac in a starbucks uniform moved in next door.
"You want pancakes Frankie?" My wife Jamia asked standing over over stove.
"Yes pleaseee" I replied grinning sitting down at the table, woman knows I loves my pancakes. With syrup.
"Okay, honey will go wake up the twins, we have a playdate today" she said turning round and placing a plate in front of me.
"Im I not invited" I sulked, I met this really cool kid last time called Karen who could fit her whole fist in her mouth and drink milk..At the same time.
"No last time you came the mothers thought you were a child molester because you wouldn't leave the kids alone" She frowned at the memory I smiled at.
"Pfft whatever" I said stuffing pancakes in my mouth I mean at least I could sit in my underwear drink milk out of the carton and put my maddona CD on full blast, without my children judging me.
"Plus you have to greet the new neighbours" She said quickly and made a bee-line for the twins room.
I spit out my half eaten pancakes in discust, she knows..SHE KNOWS I have enough friends as it is and the people that live round here listen to classical music drive BMW's and send their children to privte fucking school. Not good with me.
"Jamiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" I moaned dragging my feet after her.
"Oh come on Frank it's not that bad, you just have to say hello and then never speek to them again, I promise" She whipped around to face me placing her hands on my wasit, a pleading look in her eye.
"But but but, what if they think my hello is an open invitation to be friends then they come over for dinners and give us classical music CD's and then gives us pamphlets on the best military schools then they just fucking move in and we spend every moment together and then we end up 70 years old sat on our porch playing Go Fish together and listning to fucking beethoven" I panicked I dont want my life to be like that.
"Frank, shut up and say hello, I don't know who they are or who It is, but say hello, my name is Frank me my wife and kids live next door welcome to the neighbourhood" She snapped taking Lilly from her crib and coo'ing to her.
I grumbled to myself and watched TV for the rest of the morning.
"We're going to play group, see you soon" Jamia told me weeling the 2 person buggy out of the door and giving me a kiss on the way.
"Bye Guys" I yelled and got dressed sighing to myself all the way. I took my time taking a shower doing my hair, leaving a mess for Jamia when she got home hehehe.
I looked through my blinds and liked to think I looked like a scary murderer that nobody wants to be friends with. And my worst fears where confirmed a white delivery van was parked outside next door, I kept creeping to see if I could spot posh and becks before meeting them.
But to my suprise a young girl came out her brunette hair piled up on a messy bun, she was wearing leggins and an oversize knitted jumper and converse, hmmm not to posh. Maybe this wont be that bad..