"It’s not as though he finds you merely attractive. More like he physically cannot look away from you, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stop looking."
Right, all done. I'm in a bit of a serious mood today, guys. I've just put a lot of bleach and dye in my hair. And I have a new batman shirt. And a hoodie with a batman patch. Batman rules, okay. I wrote a little note thing down the bottom earlier, about some... things. I took it down, because it felt silly -then I realised it was actually quite observant of me, and re-wrote it. Please go look?
Chapter 16; Unable To Fake It
“So what exactly did happen to your neck?” asked Candace later on, as we had split into our sections and began looking through our scripts. I blushed and rubbed one of the bruises that Frank had left on my albino skin, still astonishingly purple.
“Well, I... it’s not that hard to guess, is it?” I said, looking down at her. She lifted an eyebrow.
“Okay. Who was it, then?”
“Um...” I flickered my eyes across the room, to where Frank and Ray were having some sort of light saber fight with two guitars.
“Is he in this room?” asked Candace, putting her hands on her hips.
“Is it... Frank?”
“Again, yes,” I said, just as Frank looked up and winked at me. Candace’s mouth fell open. “What? You guessed correctly.”
“It’s... geez, what the FUCK did you get up to?” she asked. I frowned at her.
“Why do you care all of a sudden?” I asked. She opened and closed her mouth like a bit of a goldfish, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. Hey, that’s what Frank does.
“You’re always a real bitch to my friends and I, and you never seem to give any regard to anybodies feeling save your own. What’s going on?” I asked. She sighed and sat down on the bench. I was confused like hell but I still sat next to her.
“Well, I guess we’re working together now... it’s just... you and Frank seem to... you don’t deny that you really like each other. It’s... even though there’s people like me who might... I don’t know... ridicule you because you’re not straight,” she said. “It’s really confusing.”
“Neither of us care because - and I give you permission to vomit because this is totally out of my character - we have each other. Yes, that was cheesy, I know!” I said, holding up my hands. To my complete and utter surprise... Candace giggled. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.
“GERARD! I HAVE THE ANSWER!” shouted Valerie suddenly, flying across the room.
“Oh my fuck! What mad fool let you in here?!” I shouted, scrambling backwards and crashing in Candace.
“To avoid embarrassment and staring from the next three periods,” said Valerie, holding out a small round pot. Foundation.
“Valerie, I could kiss you,” I said, rubbing my neck. Valerie smirked.
“Don’t let Frank hear you say that. And shouldn’t you apologize to thingamabob who you’ve just squished?” she asked, looking over my shoulder at Candace.
“Oh shit! Sorry,” I said, pulling Candace off the floor, who was currently the colour of a beetroot.
“Do you make a habit of sitting on top of people?” she asked, frowning.
“Yes he does,” said Valerie. “I was watching him and Frank earlier through the window. I couldn’t tell where one boy ended and the other began.”
“Um...” Candace looked a little bit ill as she looked at me. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“And you know something? I still haven’t figured out how my fly got undone,” I said, flashing a tiny evil smile towards Valerie. Candace made and ‘euuuurgh!” sound and got up, striding away. I watched Valerie for a minute, and we both burst out laughing.
“Hey, Candace?!” she shouted very loudly when our laughter died down. The babble in the hall died down a bit, and everybody looked to where Valerie was now walking casually towards a petrified-looking Candace.
“Well... if you get scared from the thought of a gay relationship, I can always help you overcome that,” Valerie murmured. Candace just looked at her with wide eyes. Valerie smirked and - to everyone’s surprise - squeezed Candace’s butt through her skirt.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” she squealed, jumping away. I burst out laughing, as did most of my other friends, as Valerie just smiled and strode away. I was almost doubled over on the bench, clutching my sides, as Candace stormed towards me.
“Oh my god...” I said. Candace glared at me.
“I fucking hate you and your friends,” she said.
“Oh look, the Candace I know is back!” I said, grinning. She scowled and tried to pull her skirt further down, her cheeks perhaps that darkest shade of red you could find.
“Valerie, I might just love you,” I said as we exited the theater at lunchtime. She grinned.
“What because of what I did to Candace?”
“Exactly! She refused to speak to me for the rest of the period.”
“You’re not complaining though, are you?”
“No. I still have cramps from laughing,” I said, a massive grin across my face. “But it was weird though. Before you came along and started being... well, you... she was... almost being nice,” I said.
“Maybe it was because she saw me,” said Valerie, pouting.
“She kind of... I don’t, it was really, really weird,” I said. Valerie shrugged.
“Perhaps it was she noticed you aren’t affected by her shit. Or maybe she could suddenly relate to you because you’d just spend a couple of hours eating a guy’s face,” she said.
“You know, that first suggestion you’d given actually sounded sensible!”
“That’s why I added in the stupid one afterwards. Though to be honest...” said Candace, lowering her voice. “Is she single?”
“Hey! She doesn’t look like your average whore. Sort of... I don’t know. Faking being fake, if you know what I mean?” I just looked at her.
“Are you an idiot or something?” I heard a voice from behind us. I turned and saw Penina following silently, next to Anna. “I didn’t speak up because I wanted to hear what you were talking about,” she said, smiling.
“Oh. But no, Anna. Just observant!”
“Because seriously, that’s fucked up.”
“Guys, wait up!” we turned around and saw Jenna running down the corridor, followed more slowly by Ria.
“Hey,” I said.
“Guys, you so should have seen what Valerie did to Candace earlier, it was wonderful,” said Anna, grinning, and she launched into a full recount of what had happened as the entire theater had looked on. Me, however, I wasn’t really paying much attention. I hadn’t really had much of a chance to actually be around Frank in Drama, because he was working in music, I was actually part of the cast and Miss had split us into separate groups. Evil bitch.
He had also left early with Ray to help pack up the instruments - I had a feeling Miss didn’t really want too much PDA as would have happened if Frank and I had actually been within two meters of each other. So, my heart was kind of going through my head.
Before, I hadn’t exactly thought about ravishing Frank and his lips because he was, in my head, ‘out of bounds’. And then the last few hours happened, and I know that, given the chance, I COULD actually mind fuck him without him minding.
Stop thinking about mink fuck, Gerard.
“GERARD!” I jumped, and realized that the girls surrounding me had been trying to get my attention for the past two minutes.
“What?” I asked. Jenna frowned at me.
“I was saying, go up the ladder first, you moron. If Frank’s there already, we want to avoid the buttfucking as much as possible.” I blushed bright red. Sure enough, we were at the base of the ladder.
“Hey guys!” I heard Ray’s voice behind us as I climbed up the rope into the treehouse, my heart suddenly going apeshit crazy. Like a hamster that’s just been smoking sugar weed and ran a marathon crazy. Does sugar weed exist? That didn’t matter at the moment, considering that I was almost having a heart attack at that precise moment.
Why are you nervous?!
I don’t know!
I clambered into the cleared out area, and there was nobody there. I was about to call down to my friends, but...
Something dropped on me from above! I squealed like a little girl and tried to fight whatever it was off. It was standing behind me with it’s arms around my neck, and I fucking panicked. I leapt around like a bunny rabbit on speed to try and see what it was, grabbed it by the wrists and shoved it down on the floor, wrapping my legs around it’s own to trip it up.
“Since when did you do karate?”
It was Frank. Motherfucker. He smirked up at me from where I had him pinned down on the floor, securing his wrists with my hands and my legs wrapped around his waist.
“You fucking asshole!” I said. “You nearly made me pee my pants!”
“This feels a bit kinky,” he said. I shook my head but didn’t let him go.
“You fucking terrified me. My heart’s going that quick,” I said, sitting back onto my heels - or rather, onto his legs. He smirked again and sat up slightly, resting his weight on his elbows.
“Are you okay? We heard a couple of hundred thuds!” came a faint voice from the direction of the ladder.
“Fine! This motherfucker just tried to break my neck,” I called back.
“Is it safe to come up yet?” I remained silent for a moment, my heart and breathing just returning to normal, as Frank looked at me expectantly.
“Yeah, you can come up!” I shouted. A couple of seconds later, I heard Valerie clambering up - easily identified by the huge ‘HELLLOOOOOOO!’ she shouted as she did so.
“Oh, is everything okay in here?” she asked, looking down at where I sat on top of Frank.
“Yeah, all good!” I said. Frank blushed and glared at me.
“I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced, Frank,” she said, smiling at him. I had to stifle a laugh - true enough, they’ve never properly met, not even in Drama. They’d also been put in different groups. But it was a bit of a awkward position to be caught in.
“Oh yeah. Valerie, Frank, Frank, this is Valerie,” I said.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking her hand, before glancing up at me. “You CAN get off me, you know.”
“Don’t wanna,” I said, pouting. He rolled his eyes and shoved me off.
“Ow! My legs have gone numb!” he complained, sitting up. I batted the top of his head playfully, and he just scowled.
“So hang on, IS it safe for us to come up?” came Mikey’s voice.
“Yeah, you’re okay!” shouted Valerie, and then in a quieter voice to Frank and I, “You guys are a mess.”
“Yeah. This idiot decided that he was going to give me a heart attack as I walked in,” I said, moving to sit in my spot and glaring at Frank. He crawled to sit next to me and rested his head on my shoulder, looking up with a pout. I just rolled my eyes.
Then I saw Mikey’s figure appear, eyes covered with his hands, probably to make sure that we weren’t fucking and Valerie wasn’t being Valerie and, well... joining in.
“It’s okay, Mikey,” I said. “Nothing too mentally-scarring going on here!” He peeked through his fingers and sighed with relief.
“Good. I had vomit bag ready if needed,” he said. “It’s nice to see that I don’t need it.”
“Don’t need it?” asked Frank innocently.
“Well. I don’t need it /yet,/” said Mikey, glaring at me and Frank. I chuckled and took a comic book out of my bag, straightening out my legs.
“Aww, so you didn’t need any alone time?” asked Jenna, flopping down. I smirked.
“It’s okay, they’ll give you a show in a couple of minutes,” said Valerie, checked her watch. Mikey groaned.
“No, please. Anything but that!”
“What, Frank and Gerard and buttsecks?”
“Exactly! I don’t wanna hear this!” said Mikey, covering his ears. Valerie smiled. I swear, there had got to be something wrong with this girl. Severely wrong. Maybe she was an escapee from a mental hospital.
“I met you today and you’re already imagining this?” asked Frank.
“I met her two days ago, dude. She’s already tried getting Candace’s pants off.” Frank laughed and nodded - of course, he’d been watching - but Bob and Mikey both spluttered and stared at the pink-haired girl, who was just gazing innocently into thin air.
“You were there, Mikes.”
“Well I know what you can both be like so I wasn’t watching! I’m assuming that’s why Candace screamed?”
“Indeed it was,” said Valerie. She now had a look of odd determination. “Do you think she’d ever date a chick?”
“You’re not honestly thinking about seducing her, are you?!” asked Bob incredulously.
“Yes I am.”
“I think she would, you know. But she’s slept with about seventy percent of the people in this school, girls and boys... you might not want to catch something nasty,” I said.
“Okay. I’ll bear that in mind. But there’s just something... odd about her. I want to find out what that is,” said Valerie determinedly.
“If you say so,” I said, sighing.
After that, the talk of Valerie and Candace fucking each other died down a bit. So I was instead lying down looking through my comic lazily, with Frank asleep (again) but this time curled up on my legs. Okay, maybe the comic bit was a bit of a lie - I was playing with a lock of Frank’s hair and staring at him, kind of in disbelief that this beautiful specimen of a creature was lying on my legs. I had the weirdest urge to kiss the top of his head, just the little spot where the hair stuck up at the back.
“I think I need to be sick...” I looked up and saw Mikey turn away, just a faint shade of green. Everyone else was looking at me; half like they were about to throw up, the other half like they were staring at a newborn kitten.
“It’s the way you’re looking at Frank. It’s so cute!” squealed Jenna. I blushed.
“You really never noticed the way looks at you?” asked Anna.
“No, not really...”
“It’s like... not as though he finds you merely attractive. More like he physically cannot look away from you, no matter how hard he tries he can’t stop looking,” said Bob, quietly.
“When did Bob become an expert on this?” asked Jenna, laughing. Bob stayed expressionless, just watching Jenna.
“It’s like... not as though he finds you merely attractive. More like he physically cannot look away from you, no matter how hard he tries he can’t stop looking...”
I looked at Frank again, and once again, I felt my heart give a funny little skip. Bob and Jenna? I mean, I noticed the tiny signs... the occasional jealous glare that Bob sent when someone flirted with Jenna, how they were always together doing something... and they didn’t notice it. Just how I hadn’t noticed the same dilemma with Frank.
So that made two couples, if Bob ever admitted it. Even though I’d never officially asked Frank out, but after that morning I figured it might have been... obvious, that I really did like him. And he liked me too. I hope I’m not dreaming.
“Gerard?” I scowled and looked up, and saw all the girls staring at me. Ray and Mikey had disappeared, presumably to go be sick in a bush somewhere, and Bob was just watching the floor.
“What?” I asked, a little bit pissed off because they’d interrupted my staring.
“I would give anything to have someone look at me like that.”
What did you think, my lovelies? I liked writing this. It got a bit sappy, I know. But oh well! And you know WHY I got sappy? Because at the end, I was kind of pouring into the story how I think the real Frank and Gerard, our real-life idols, feel about each other.
Is it just me, or does Frank look sad lately? As in, in the past year or so. In shows, performances, interviews, photo shoots. In the Kerrang! Award acceptance speech, even though he looked happy and he was laughing, was it just me or could you see a little bit of sadness in Frank's eyes? And you want to know WHY I think this?
If you want my opinion, Frank does actually love Gerard. And this is not me fangirling, this is me being sincere. You can see it everywhere - they still look at each other, stare, care, you can practically feel the tension when they sit next to each other in interviews. The only problem is, I think Gerard's pushing Frank away a bit, because maybe he's in denial, or maybe he's worried about what people would think. And it's breaking Frank's heart.
I thought it was a wee bit too suspicious that life pretty much fucked Gee and Frank backwards forwards and upside down, and suddenly their life is perfect with beautiful wives and amazing kids and as happy as they could be? I know, Danger Days, that's what it's supposed to be... I mean, I respect LynZ and Jamia, and their kids too, and I'm sure that they do love them in a way.
And yet... it doesn't seem right. I mean, after Frank and Gerard had that infamous argument that stopped the whole band's progress for two years, literally right afterwards, Gerard married LynZ. In a fit of anger? Maybe. And Frank screamed his heart out with leATHERMOUTH for those two years. Then Danger Days came around. And it's just not the same anymore.
So, that's what I wanted to put. I hope you guys understand where I'm coming from.